I've Changed

50. you have my heart

Jae's pov

"What is this?" Ellie asks as I lead her under the gazebo, which contains a two-seater garden chair, a table with fake candles and lanterns illuminating the dark night around it, and a basket I packed earlier with blankets, snacks, and other necessities.

"I just want tonight to be all about you," I shrug, drawing her closer to me, her eyes slightly widened and a smile on her lips as she examines the setup. I pull out the chair for her to take a seat, then bringing out the blankets to wrap them around her first. I circle around the chair, sitting next to her, as she drapes half of her blanket over my shoulders and the other one on my lap to keep us cozy and close. As we lean back and enjoy the silence and elegant view of the garden ahead of us like we're in a fantasy, I throw my arm around her neck and her head rests on my shoulder with a content sigh.

A sudden gush of wind passes by us and I turn my head to look at her cuddled into my side, pulling me closer. Her gaze wanders around the gazebo, which is adorned with lanterns and string lights, casting a combination of golden yellow and white hues around us.

"What?" When her brown eyes shimmer under the reflection of the lights, she giggles and looks up at me as I continue to gaze at her sheer beauty, making my heart pound faster. "You're always looking at me."

"I can't help myself," I shrug, a smug smile approaching my lips as Ellie scrunches up her nose teasingly and shakes her head laughing before looking forward again. "You're beautiful."

"You're beautiful, too," she says, rolling her eyes as she encourages me to kiss down her neck, tickling her. When I pull her closer and she giggles out in the cold air, I laugh as she struggles to get out of my embrace.

"I made your favorite," I say softly to her when she relaxes and her brows furrow as she looks up at me. I move the basket closer to my end, reaching in with my hand to scavenge for the container I had packed for tonight and pulling it out. She gasps, jumping up and down in our seats, and I laugh at her excitement.

"When did you have time to bake these?" She beams while I open the fresh homemade muffins I baked just for her a few hours ago, maybe a few for Theo that I knew he'd steal, which he did.

"I have my ways," I shrug, knowing that I had prepared them ahead of time and had asked coach to reheat them when I was getting ready for the night. I watch her admire the baked good in her hands, a smile approaching my expression. "What's wrong?" I ask, watching as she smiles sheepishly at the muffin before kissing my cheek in thanks. When she plays with the muffin liner, I furrow my brows.

"I'm not hungry," she says as she puts it on the table, and I notice her guiltily staring at it before looking at me. I smile and pull her to my side, kissing her on the forehead, knowing how tough it is for her right now. "I know it would be delicious, but I don't feel-"

"It's okay Ellie, you don't have to explain yourself, I understand," I say as I take her face in my hands and rub it gently while she looks up at me with sad eyes. She kisses my pulse before leaning back into my embrace and taking the time to take in our surroundings.

"What did you want to tell me?" After a brief pause, Ellie asks, my heart racing with the adrenaline and nervousness of what lies ahead. She notices my silence as I mull over my thoughts, but I ignore the strategy I had planned and instead tell her what I've been meaning to say. I gaze out at the faint stars in the sky, sensing her warmth under my palms, encouraging me even more.

I take a breath and pulling her waist, inviting her to straddle me for better comfort.  Her hands rubbing across my shoulders under my jacket as she looks at me, worried and nervous. I notice her brown eyes shimmering under the lights, and her lips that I want to kiss every day of my life. Every time she touches my skin, I get goosebumps, and that smile of motivation and kindness makes me wish she could keep that expression on her face all the time, so she could be truly happy for the rest of her life instead of the misery and pain expression she usually wears.