Fckd Up// Ranboo Angst

4~-Streaming-~4

~-~-~-Ranboo Pov-~-~-~

I open the door to be greeted by my drunk and angry father. "look who's too good to be in this house" he said slurring his words together and forcefully pulling me inside with the wrist that hurt the most.

he pulled me inside dragged me by my wrists in the kitchen and threw me on the floor. my back hit the wall making my head lean onto the wall as well.

"YOU FAT UGLY BITCH, GOING OUT WITHOUT TELLING ME?" he said throwing the bottle right next to my head. I flinched and some of the pieces left small cuts on me.

he slapped me across the face and I just started crying, I didn't know what to be I had just been with a group of people that I enjoyed being around. but there are always bad things waiting for me.

I zoned out thinking about hanging out with all of the other boys.

after 15 minutes of him constantly yelling at me and hitting me he threw a wine glass that was next to my mom's wine display at my head. he stomped away into the basement where his chill-out room was.

I stand up grabbing a hold of the counter because I was dizzy all the pain he had just caused me got to me. maybe I did need food, where's the food I got with Wilbur and the boys.

I left it.

I frown and open the fridge. "YOU BETTER NOT BE EATING MY FUCKING FOOD YOU FAT ASS YOU DONT NEED ANY MORE,"

I sigh and walk to my room upstairs.  my head got cut a little so I have to see what I can do about it. I walk into my bathroom and see the blade on my sink counter.

it won't hurt. just one.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—

before I knew it the cuts were deeper than I ever had done, it felt pleasing. I realized I did about 8.

oh god, what do I do? I start crying more until I hear my phone go off, I pick it up and see a text from the group chat

Wilbur: hey we should stream together in about 10 minutes
techno: I'm not streaming shit.
Wilbur: join our stream then?
techno: hmm, okay.
tubbo: I'd be happy to!
Tommy: I'm in
Wilbur: mark?
mark/ranboo: yea sure :)

blood was dripping down my arm onto the floor. it's never stung this bad, I like it. one more, just one.

1 more
2 more
3 more
14 in total
14 in one night.

I clean up and turn on my pc. everyone already added me on discord so I just accepted them and they added me to another group chat.

tubbo sent a link and chat asking me to join a new server. I click on it and it's the.... dream smp, what?

we all get into a vc and told me how they convince dream to let me join. which made me happy.

I started to stream and told them the news, I look at my views and holy cow, they went up by 15k people!

tubbo mentioned how he tweeted my account out.

we were goofing around for a while with Wilbur, techno, Tommy and Tubbo.

I got to know everyone a bit more. tubbo is 16, Tommy is 15, Wilbur is 17 and techno is 18 meaning I was the youngest, that left Tommy a little pissed but it was funny.

we stayed together, I never really stayed up late but I never slept, I would just lay in my bed yk?

but this was so late of actually doing something my words started to blur together because I was so tired.

Wilbur decides all of us should sleep so I say bye to chat and jump into my bed.

I turn on my nightstand light and look at the cuts I made, I just wanted to do more. and more and more until I die of blood loss.

I open Twitter and look at the tweet I made telling people I'm streaming, that's a lot more people than before. I scroll through the comments one-third of them were excited people but the other ones not so happy. 'fucking die already' 'ew your still streamin' that was only two out of the thousands there.

but I also saw some tweets about me sounding like I just cried. Nah just my mic.

the comments were getting to me because the water was pouring down my face. I slowly fall asleep, and I mean slowly.

not too proud of this chapter :/ sorry