Fckd Up// Ranboo Angst

43~-Why Do I Have To Be Like This?!-~43

Have a chapter since it's my birthday!

Technoblade.

Why do I have to be like this?!

I can't stay still.

I can't focus on anything.

I can't even do one simple thing anyone asks of me!

"Techno, you're doing too much."

"Tech, stay still."

"You're being too loud!"

"Why can't you just focus on one thing?"

I try.

I try so fucking hard to act how a "normal" person would.

Stay still in the chair.

Focus on one thing at a time.

I just can't do that shit for fucks sake!

I have to keep moving otherwise I'll feel like I have to explode, or I will start feeling the clothes itching on my skin, or hear someone breathing slightly too loud.

I'm not perfect I will admit, but I'm not a screw-up!

I have my life how I want it, I'm in a good school for something I want to do, I have the dream parents, I have the perfect siblings, everything in my life is perfect except for me.

My school is filled with know-it-all's who chose to be in medical school because they find happiness in helping people. They're not in it because their parents put all the work on the oldest and want him to be a doctor to make good money for them.

My parents are the most strict people I have ever seen. I've bent the rules so much I don't even know the right or wrong thing to do.

My siblings all are perfect and in order, both of them. They're younger than me and can do more and do it better.

I'm the only fucked up one in the family.

all because of my fucking ADHD.

Why did fucking jesus pick me out of everyone in the world to have it? My family wants me to be perfect but my brain says no I guess.

They all know I have ADHD and there very understanding about it and don't do too bad dealing with me when I get a little much. Nobody else they know has ADHD so I got lucky that they don't treat me like some child.

But what I don't want them to do is treat me like Tommy or Ranboo when they found out they hurt themselves.

Once they found out Wilbur pinned Tommy to Tommy's bed and tickled him until he said he stopped. He didn't.

They made Tommy spend a week in an Airbnb with us at some lake. Tommy was enjoying it but Wilbur and I were not, you know Tommy he was just being Tommy and annoying us.

That Airbnb was supposed to make his stop but it just got worse and worse.

I'm pretty sure he sneaked into the bathroom and hurt himself because he's just like that.