Fckd Up// Ranboo Angst

50~-Tommy's Final Ending-~50

God, he's so fucking ugly. He looks like he hasn't eaten in weeks, you can see his rib cage and all his bones poking out. When he walks he can barely hold himself up.

His hair is so fucking messy too, he probably hasn't even touched it in weeks. It's all greasy and sticks up in every direction. What a shame, he had such nice hair.

He looks like he hasn't aged past 12. He sometimes goes wearing the same clothes for days, forgets his deodorant, doesn't shower, and has skin filled with acne and bumps.

His scars trailing up his arms and thighs are so weird... why would someone ever do that. They look horrible, the lines up his thighs and arms.

He looks like the kind of guy you want to punch. The kind of guy that's so selfish, so fucking selfish with his own needs that he makes his friend kill himself.

I want to punch him so fucking bad.

Punching him would fill my body with euphoria. Seeing his nose fill with blood and spill out would just make me intoxicated with joy.

I want to punch him so hard, the impact makes him fall over, not just because he's so skinny but because I hit him so fucking hard.

I wanna see him in pain. crying, and screaming, In pain.

I throw my arm back and right into his face, watching it all crumble.

The mirror shatters around and on my hand leaving blood dripping down the mirror that is now shattered.

His face looks unproportional and broken, not like before though. Actually broken with cracks everywhere.

I'm the kid that you want to punch. The one that never looks right, can't hold down a meal, can't keep up with his hygiene, can't stop slashing my thighs and wrists, and made his friend kill himself.

"Tom! Come get dinner before I drag you out here!" My mom joked.

I go downstairs after I wash the blood off my hand and sit at the table that was already set, I usually have to set the table so I know something is up.

"Tom, your hairs a mess!" My mom said and set a bowl of curry in front of me.

My favourite food and I didn't have to set the table...

What if they found out about my wrist and thighs? Or that Ranboo's death was my fault?

My mom sat down and then my dad.

"How was your day?" my dad asked and started eating.

Dinner was weird... it was unusual, I expected them to bring up big news or something but it never came. Just a perfect dinner with my family...

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I always was jealous of Ranboo. He got all the attention because he had all these problems with his life.

I want those problems. I want to not feel safe coming home so I have to go to  Phil's to stay. I want to have panic attacks in my bathroom and almost pass out from not breathing. I want to hurt myself because I don't know how else to deal with my emotions.