Forever With You ~ Tubbo x Reader

hello! an author's random talk

hi! no, not an update, just some thoughts!

ive been missing my childhood recently.

i have almost no inspiration to write, yet its one of the only things that make me happy. (more on this later).

i just dont have any emotions, i want to feel, but i just feel empty.

i want to write! so bad! but i dont know.

i'm afraid my parents are going to catch me.

i'm afraid that this is going to blow up, people will post about it.

what i mean about this: you know heat waves? or flowers from 1970? how those get blown up and everyone posts and talks about them?

its one of my BIG fears that this will happen to my story. yes, it probably wont, but it could, and that scares me. I do not want attention.

i'm afraid that tubbo will read this, or ranboo, tommy, any one.

i'm afraid i'll have to take this down. Yes, it's become my curse. I fear FOR MY LIFE when i write or talk about this. i have put so much effort into this. i think about this story almost every second of the day.

i have a very vivid imagination, so that's probably why i always think about this.

I mean, if I need to take this down because Tubbo is uncomfortable (i'm pretty sure as of right now he is okay with fics! he's in the south park fandom, so he says he understands!), but still, i have put effort into this.

i'm really bad when it comes to criticism, so like, please no bullying! i just don't handle well! i can have a thousand positive comments, but the one negative one will always stick with me.

 yes, i know that's a super bad mindset, but i'm doing what i can to fix it. (not really.)

i just dont know. i really want to keep doing this, but it stresses me out, and i feel guilty when i dont publish. yes, i know you all are probably going to be like 'oh take a break if you need it! take care of your mental health!'

which i would love to do! i just cant.

i can't.

You know how it's said that everyone has a talent? I believe that. Sometimes I struggle with mine. I've had mental breakdowns over it.

Some people's talent is art. Music, sports. Those are the main ones. For me, a talent is some way to be creative. And my talent is writing. I started writing this like ten minutes ago, and I can put effort into this, because I truly care.

I don't want this spread around. I already said I don't like the attention. so please, please do not spread this. you can tell your friends, whatever. don't make tiktoks, don't go in comment sections (youtube, instagram, DEFFO NOT TWITTER!!!!), and please, keep it low-key.

I understand if it does get spread, but i just really don't want to. I don't want my community, our community, which is me, and you dear readers, to be known as people who spread things and go in comment sections.

a few more topics!

streaming-

shipping-

streaming: if I ever become a streamer, and you guys are like 'hey! this person reminds me a lot of a fanfic i once read' DO NOT SAY ANYTHING TO ME. I will probably panic. because being a streamer would be super cool! but i don't wanna be the streamer that wrote tubbo fanfiction, especially because~

what if tubbo finds out???? what if one day, in some universe, me and the tubbs are friends, and he knows???

plus, i don't want anyone harassing me or my fans, either right now or in the future.

shipping: okay, this is a random one, but i think about sometimes. yes, has nothing to do with anything.

so, do any of you have that couple that you ship, real or not, that you know you shouldn't ship because they are uncomfortable with it, but you ship them anyways?

pleasedon'tcancelmepleasedon'tcancelmepleased'tcancelmepleasedon'tcancelmepleasedon'tcancelmepleasedon'tcancelmepleasedon'tcancelme-

but yeah i hate to admit it, but i have one of those ships. if any of you (you know who i'm talking about. i wont call you out, but we both know, i'll tell the discord about how you simp over wilbur soot 24/7 non-stop) can guess/know who they are, kindly please don't <3

okay! well, i may not post this, but if i do, then hi! i might reply to early people, so drop a 'hello!'

i will try to write!

like i've been saying, i literally have so much i want to do with this story! i know exactly how it will end! i just don't want to write! yet at the same time, it's all i want to do!

this really has become my curse.

i both want to delete this, and keep it up. there's been about three times where i almost completely unpublished, but i'm really proud of this, so i keep it.

whatever. goodnight. i love you all. i will write if i can. i might never again, which my . . . uh . . . i won't handle that very well.

bye chat, thanks for stopping by!