Marvel Imagines/One Shots (Book 1)

The Avengers- One Sarcastic Asshole Of A Witch

POV: You're a villain known as Trix and the Avengers are your biggest enemy. You're also ridiculously sarcastic. Secretly, they like you, but the public can't know that. (Tony and Nat are still alive and Steve isn't old)

All I could think about while writing this chapter was "would Deadpool say this?" And if the answer was no, then I probably didn't put it in.

Word Count: 1136, another long one
Type: Funny to me
Reader Pronouns: She/her

Your outfit before the time skip (or pick your own, I gave up trying to find a good one):

Your outfit after the time skip (I personally am in love with this one):

•••

You entered the old warehouse and flicked your wrist, the door slamming shut behind you as you approached the railing overlooking the hole in the floor. Hanging from chains were several members of the Avengers Original Six, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers and Clint Barton. The only ones missing were Banner and Thor. You eyed them all and smirked to yourself. "Trix what do you want now?"
"Well, I want many things. Pizza, a Netflix account, a working dishwasher would be nice-"
"What do you want from us?"
"Oh, you can't supply those things? Hmm. That's quite problematic, but there are other things I'd like..."
"Like what? What do you plan to do to us?"
"I'm not going to tell you my plan, that's just plain dumb."

Your eyes flicked over to Stark, who was suppressing a laugh. Outside of work, you were kind of friends, but with the whole world watching, you had to put on a show. Make it seem like you hated each other's guts.

"Tell us what you want and we'll give it to you."
"Oh Capsicle, what I want you can't give me. At least, you can't. Stark, however? He might be able to."
"Stark I swear don't give her what she wants-"
"Shush, Natalie Rushman. Tony Stank here can help."
"Rhodey told you about that?"
"Yeah, duh. Now, where was I? Ah yes, I want access to my file at SHIELD. There are some things I need to take care of."
"Really? I don't have access to tha-"
"I know for a fact you do, and if not, you'll get it through other measures. Understood?"
"I don't want to know what your other measures are, so sure. We done here?"
"I wasn't done quite yet. I want that, $50,000 and DUM-E. He's a cute robot and I could use him."
"The money is-"
"Dude you're a billionaire and I'm a struggling Gen Z a month away from living in my car. Give me $50,000, it won't even put a dent in your bank account."
"She has a point, Tony."
"Fine. And you can have DUM-E. I have other robots I can use."
"Dunce hat included?"
"Sure."
"That was easy, thank you, Stank."
"My pleasure."

You nodded and looked between all of them before transmitting a thought into Tony's head.
"I don't like taking stuff from you guys, but I have an image here."
"I know that. But do you actually need the money?"
"Yes. I don't fancy living off instant ramen for the rest of my life."

You smiled and stretched, cracking your knuckles. You looked each of them, tilting your head. "What are you doing?"
"You see those big blades under you? Yeah they're going to start spinning and the chains holding you are going to slowly lower. I suggest you find a way out."
"What the hell, Y/N?!"
"Sorry, I have an image to uphold. And don't use my name! Do you want me to die?"
"You clearly want us to die!"
"Ok, rude, guess you're not invited to my birthday party."
"You're a psychopath!"
"I'm a psychopath making a DIFFERENCE! That being said, I may or may not have killed an entire elevator full of people last week."
"Y/N!"
"They were from HYDRA!"

Steve sighed and looked down at the blades, which were slowly beginning to move, while Clint couldn't hold in his laughter. You smirked and flicked your wrist, releasing the chains holding them a little bit. Steve's eyes widened as he dropped a little. "You can't actually be planning kill us."
"It's all for theatrics, Stevie. The lever's over there, next to Nat. Obviously it's a little far off but you should be able to reach. Ta ta."

You transmitted the thought into his head and nodded towards the lever on the wall before blowing them a kiss and sauntering out of the room in the warehouse, walking down the empty halls.

You figured the place was surrounded so you'd have to take a passage out. Though you had a face mirage on- a spell that changes your face into someone else's- you couldn't risk it. You snuck out the passage and emerged 7 blocks away before changing back to your own face and heading back towards the warehouse, where a crowd was gathering.

Minutes passed and you were worried they hadn't reached the lever until they emerged and the crowd cheered as they waved. You smiled and clapped as well, relived they made it.

Though you were always fighting them, you were friends. The public just refused to believe that it was even possible. They immediately started doing interviews and being swarmed by the press. "Captain! What happened to Trix? Is she dead?"
"Uh, yes. Yes, she's gone. She'll no longer be a threat."
"Now that she's gone who will be your next big threat?"
"Let's hope we don't have to find out."

You smirked and pushed to the front of the crowd, locking eyes with Natasha who nodded subtly towards you. According to the team, you were supposedly dead, which meant you wouldn't have to fight them again. You'd have to create a body illusion or kill someone and use their body if an investigation was to be done, but you were dead. Of course you could come back if you wanted, but only if you wanted. Thank heavens.

•••Time Skip•••

You sat in the bar with the Avengers, drink in hand while they talked. You chimed in every now and again, often just correcting the boys on their little knowledge of Trix's/your powers. You were seen with their group, so you got free drinks as you were "part of the Avenger's party." The title made you laugh but hey, free stuff.

You had taken the time to change your outfit so you weren't caught, but you felt weird being there. No one did or said anything- thankfully- but it felt... off. Nat took notice and made sure you were ok the whole time, but no matter how much she checked in you still were worried. Paranoia came with your powers. "Y/N, you're fine. The public only saw your fake face and didn't- doesn't- know your last name, you'll be ok. You'll be fine."
"I know, Nat. It's just because of my abilities my senses and emotions are heightened. That means my paranoia is heightened. I can't really control it."
"I know that, just try not to look so suspicious."

You chuckled and took a sip of your drink while Nat continued talking with the others, drawing you in every now and again. Though they had saved both the world and the universe, they were just people. They liked you because you saw them that way. Unfortunately, the world would probably never see you that way.