No Regrets - Izuku Midoriya x OC (MHA/BNHA)

XXXI.

"If I gotta beg or steal, no big deal, girl don't quit on me now..." I hummed.

"Are you okay?" Alex muttered, more to herself.

"No", I replied calmly.

"I can see that. You're insane. Giving it up for..." she began her story again.

"For true love", I finished her sentence.

She shook her head thoughtfully and leaned down on her elbow.

"Look... do you know that no-one is listening to us here?" she asked, turning around.

"Yeah. They wouldn't dare. Too much is on the line."

"If you say so. Twice. I figured something out."

"What?"

She looked around, trying to find the best words. Rubbing her fingers together, she sighed and closed her eyes.

"Before he starts to talk in that 'doubled' manner, his fingers twitch. And the truth always comes first of those two", she finally said, while I was waiting for it as if I was on needles.

"So?"

"So?! So when you want to find something out, you just wait for his fingers to twitch. Then you'll find out the truth easily", she shrugged her shoulders.

I leaned over the desk and kissed her. She scoffed, crossing her arms as if she was offended I didn't see the importance right away. She then pointed her finger at me.

"I don't like this. At all!" she exclaimed.

"What now?" I sighed.

"Good, I'm boring. Now there is no need to do that whole espionage thing!"

"God, stop it. I love you and always will. Plus, you do seem to be in a better mood this time."

We stared at each other for a moment before another quick kiss. We were in a tiny room, only with two chairs, across from each other around a little wooden table which dangerously threatened to fall apart any moment. In the ceiling were built in two little windows, secured with iron bars. I would've teared it apart if I didn't know this place full of villains. She swiped a strand of hair from my face and smiled, whispering something about my freckles.

"How sweet", a voice said from the doors.

I looked up and saw Dabi leaned on the wall. He grinned maniacally. I felt my jaw clenching when I saw his stupid face. Alex looked at me; I could practically see the warning signs popping out of her eyes. Knowing it's for the best if I cool down, I stared at the lines carved into the table top. I heard a fly buzz somewhere in the distance.

"Your time is up", Dabi sang happily.

"It was longer the last time", I growled, feeling my pulse speed up again.

"Last time you weren't on your own! And I think we're going to count in the time you'll spend hanging out with us for a bit", he quickly replied, his grin disappearing instantly.

"You? What the fuck?" I muttered.

"It's fine. Come by some other time", Alex gulped, letting go of my hand which she held as Dabi stepped closer to us.

"Listen to her", he told me.

I nodded and felt my heart shrink sorrowfully. Alex got up, kissing me one more time quickly and with a melancholically long look in her eyes waved me a goodbye. Dabi sat into her place as some guy dressed as a pirate came in for Alex. I moved my chair back. I was disgusted but I knew I had to hear him out this time as well.

"Chito!" Dabi yelled all of a sudden, causing me to jump up in my seat for a second.

I looked with terror at the doors. Was he going to tell me the plan has changed? If I found out there was no hope for Alex, I would beat him then and there without a second thought. And then I'd probably go crazy. I'd be mentally disabled without her.

A short, fat guy came in quietly. He was bold and wore little glasses, dressed in a suit. A suit. I looked around, expecting to realize it's a joke. Of all the guys I knew Dabi was acquainted with, apart from the Todoroki family, a guy looking like that was making it seem almost impossible Dabi had anything to do with him. I followed the man's steps carefully. He stood next to the table as if he were a soldier waiting for orders from no other person than Dabi.

"Deku, this is Chito. He is our candidate for the seventh Commission member", Dabi announced.

I burst into fake laughter, hoping it would make him forget about the entire idea. But Dabi's look of those icy eyes more than quickly shut me up.

"Just how do you expect me to make the Commission accept a suspicious guy with a suspicious history, and most likely a file at the Police?" I said.

I did not want to admit to myself that this Chito looked like a book example of a Commission member. Old, bold men. And old, 'fancy' women. Not wanting to admit it was a part of process of purifying my own consciousness. A process which couldn't be done. Not any more.

"I think we managed to make him look perfect, didn't we, Chito? Plus, he has no file", Dabi answered me slowly.

"Impossible. Everyone who ever set a foot in this building has a file, Dabi", I growled through clenched teeth.

"You do too?" he said with an honest smile - I was clearly amusing to him.

"You know very damn well what I meant", I snapped, having had more than enough bullshit for one day.

"Anyway, Chito doesn't have one. We made sure he doesn't, so I think it's safe if I say he's clean", Dabi ran his hand through his hair.

"How? The Police in Tokyo has the best guards!" I slammed my hand onto the table, making Chito jump away slightly.

"It's not about the guards. It's about the honor and dignity and honesty of the officers working there", Dabi laughed. "Don't you see? Everywhere around you are corrupted heroes, police, bankers and journalists. Don't even get me started on attorneys and lawyers. And you, my dear Deku, are from a few days ago no more than one of them."

***

His last words were the thing that made me fall into a shadowy pit of complete self-discus nobody can explain correctly, not even shrinks. It's how you feel when you know and when you are ready to admit that you have become a puppet of those who you've been hating, and, sometimes, fighting against. I didn't just hate Dabi. I despised him. Those are two different things. In human nature is to try and convince ourselves that we aren't bad. In situations we do something wrong, we almost always find an excuse for our own self-appreciation. When it comes to others, it's the other way around. That is what was going on in my head, too. I judged those who were to stand by the sides of villains. But now, just as Dabi said, I was just one of them. And I found a good reason to do it. Alex. But I was a bit different than the others. I was one of those rare species of people (and Alex) who genuinely and deeply differenced wrong from right. The thing is, we live in a world which doesn't care. Like John Green explained in his book - the universe doesn't necessarily and always care about its people. Some of us, people, like me, do care - and it feels right. But there are more of those who don't give a fuck about anything, or at least not from the bottom of their heart. All that makes us wonder what truly is right. And that was just one of the reasons why I couldn't ask for help. Another one is the fact that the Earth has been loosing empathy and sympathy rapidly on every step. Then there was the greed.

Long story short, for every deadly sin you could find a perfect example in our world.