𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐒.𝐉 & 𝐍.𝐑 ✔️

-Natasha Romanoff- I'm sorry.

TW: Self-harm and suicide.

Summary: You and Natasha Romanoff have been together for two and a half years. While you were with Natasha, you went into a deep depression, not because of Natasha, but because your best friend died in the attack on New York.

When you woke up, you looked to your left and admired your beautiful redheaded girlfriend Natasha. As you lay there admiring her for a good 5 minutes, you got up and went to the bathroom.

When you got to the bathroom you took off the t-shirt you stole from Natasha a year ago, when you took it off you threw it on the bathroom floor and looked in the mirror and saw the scars covering your chest, all battle scars, when you looked down your arms you saw the other scars, the deeper scars, the ones with deeper meaning.

The scars on your arms were of your own making. The scars on your arms were the ones that dug much deeper than the scars caused by enemies, they meant much more and bled much longer. No one had ever noticed the scars, not your girlfriend, not Tony, no one.

You opened the drawer under the sink and shifted some things around until you found the thing you were looking for, the thing that had caused the scars on your arms. You took the blade in your hand and moved it towards your arm, only to find that there was no more room.

Instead, you turned on the water in the shower, took off your shorts, and sat down on the bathroom floor. You moved the blade to your thigh and pressed it into your skin, and pulled it up and then again and again and again until your thigh was dark red from all the blood, then you moved the blade to your left thigh and did the same again and again and again until the left was as red as the right.

Then you heard your girlfriend move on the other side of the door and you stood up, took off your underwear and went into the shower, taking the blade with you to wash it off. As the water tingled against your skin down to your thighs you got this sharp pain, not as painful as the first time or the second or third time, no, this time you felt nothing.

15 minutes later you got out of the shower, put on your underwear and t-shirt, unlocked the bathroom door and walked out. When you got out, you went straight for the closet and found Natasha already there. You walked over and hugged her from behind and kissed her neck.

"Good morning to you too, dear," she said, handing you a pair of leggings, which you grabbed and put on. When you had the leggings on, she turned and put her arms around your neck and looked into your eyes and a big smile crossed her face, which you gladly returned.

The two of you stood there for about 10 minutes when you heard a knock on the door and you both turned your heads in sync. "Come in," Nat said and Peter Parker entered your room. "Um Miss Natasha Steve said he needed to talk to you about a mission" Natasha then let go of your neck and went with him.

2 hours later she came back "I am so sorry dear, we have a mission and will be back in a few hours" she said sadly ruining any plans you had for today
"It's okay, do not worry about it" you reply without looking up from your book "Okay, are you sure I am really sorry, I'll be back in 5 to 6 hours max" she said and walked out.

The moment you heard the quinjet from the roof, you walked out of your room into the main room and towards the lab. When you got to the lab, you looked for the pills you knew Bruce had hidden to calm him down when he turned green. When you found the pills, you took the whole bottle and went up to the roof.

When you got to the roof, you searched for a moment and found the bottle of vodka you had hidden in one of the plants up there. you grabbed the bottle and walked over to the edge and sat down, your feet dangling in the air.

Sitting there, feet dangling, air flowing through your hair, eyes closed, you grabbed the pill bottle and emptied it into your mouth, swallowed some of them and then grabbed the alcohol bottle and swallowed it down with the rest of the sleeping pills, finally accepting your fate, you picked up your phone and checked the time, it was about 9:30pm, now 11 hours since they left, 12 since you woke up.

You unlocked your phone and called Natasha, it went straight to voicemail, which is what you wanted, as you wanted to leave her one last message, an apology. when you had left her the message, you deleted your phone, everything in it and threw it off the roof.

I am sorry. was the last thing you said when everything went black.

A/N: Andddddd we round on another chapter to this imagines I again apologize if some of it was bad if you have any request fell free to comment or private message me. 

Love you all 3000 -Becca