Uncertain

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Huaze Lei

Opening the balcony door to return inside, I walked in and closed the door behind me. Shivers went down my spine as the warmth of the cabin villa surrounded me. I made sure to lock the door before going over to the table to take my phone off the table. The sound of the bedroom door opened and turned to see Ximen slowly poking his head in and I put my phone into my pocket.

"She's doing well," I spoke to him and he hummed with a look of relief in his expression. I walked over to my violin case deciding it would be a good time to practice. This would be the first time in months I would be practicing alone in quite some time. I'm used to the presence of Faye and her intense practices.

Thinking back to my practices before Faye I thought my own practices were intense. After meeting her, I realized she was into repetitiveness on sections she did not have down and would go on for hours practicing without much break. Her train of thought was always focused on the music.

"Is she really getting along with all of them?" Ximen asked and I turned towards him as I took out my violin. The hesitation in his tone indicated he was unsure how his relationship with Faye was going since it wasn't too long ago, she was letting him back into her life. He was having doubts of whether Faye would ever be back to where they once were.

"From her video calls and the pictures I've seen of her with them, it seems like she's having some of the best time of her life. After all, they are all fans of each other and Faye wanted to finally meet the rest of the members along with seeing Lee again." Ximen took a seat on his bed while I continued to set up my practice area. As I took a seat and attached my shoulder rest, I sighed to Ximen with my calm expression. "She's completely fine. She's happy. What are you concerned with?"

"It's nothing," Ximen shook his head and I put my violin down on the bed wondering what was going through his mind. He has had this behavior since we arrived.

"What is it?" Ximen now had his arm folded with something on his mind. A look of trouble gave away the concerning expression. "Ximen."

"You're both moving too fast." His words took a moment for me to process. How could he tell me what Faye and I were doing fast? We're now second semester seniors graduating in May. We're in our twenties. Realizing Ximen wasn't completely on board with everything made me unsure if he was having second thoughts on his feelings. My mouth parted slightly not knowing how this would end. My relationship with Faye I never spoke too much with Ximen about. Ximen never spoke much to very little feelings towards her except for his over protectiveness.

"Ximen."

"How are you sure that you love her and she's the right one? How can you be completely sure?"

"You were okay with this when I asked you if you would help me find an engagement ring," I sighed.

"You've only met her in August."

"I'm waiting until graduation to propose. That's months away."

"That's not the point Lei. How are you sure she's the one? Do you know her well enough to want to spend the rest of your lives together?"

"You flirt with girls. I've only ever had a serious relationship with Faye. She's the only girl who understands me, more than Jing has."

"But you've had a crush on Jing your entire life. You've been so sure you would end up with her."

"Do you not support Faye and I?" I questioned him having the idea why he was now reacting to my future with Faye. He remained silent and I decided to be straightforward with him. "Do you like her?" I asked my best friend now. I knew his past with his parents had changed his viewpoints on serious relationships. Currently, he has a small liking towards Xiaoyou, but I think wasn't sure where his mind was. I knew Shancai wanted her friend to watch out for my best friend.

"Of course I support both you and Faye. You make her happy without trying."

"Then why are you doubting us now? Do you like her?" Ximen let out a shaky sigh and shut his eyes tightly as if I had given him a headache. The room was silent for a few minutes before he opened his eyes and looked towards me.

"I've always liked her more than a friend."

"Why didn't you say anything before I started pursuing her?" My tone was now a bit protective of Faye and in confusion of what this now meant.

"I couldn't say much when she has had a crush on you since high school. I knew when she would be coming back she would meet you again. I knew you had Jing and I wasn't sure how everything would have played out. I never knew you two would have come this far."

"You're not making sense," I said frustrated for the first time. My best friend would do this to me. This far into the relationship and he has feelings for her, even now. "Would you have pursued her if I never ended up with Faye?" Ximen frowned like I should know the answer to this.

"Yes." I sighed painfully where this was going. I should have stayed cold towards her and we wouldn't have to face the pain we're about to go through. I should have never let my guard down even after Ximen told us about Faye. I shouldn't have been curious. This went against everything.

"I'll break up with her," I mumbled. Ximen's eyes widened, shaking his head.

"What? No, Lei. Don't be irrational. She picked you." I sighed, shaking my head feeling guilty and knowing we'd never take another's crush away from them. It did not sit well with me. His feelings were there and it was enough for me to feel... unsettled.

Faye Calinao

"He's arriving tomorrow!" I beamed at the boys as I walked into the living room of the guest house. Everyone looked up from their phones. Each of them were spread out across the living area.

"She's very excited," San Ha smiled and stood up and walked over to me. He draped his arm around my shoulder and I took his other hand to pull him so we could dance in a circle. "Whoa!" He gasped surprisingly, almost losing his balance. I heard chuckles from around the room.

"I'm joining in on this," Moonbin said and moments later our circle became bigger as we danced. After a few minutes my rush of energy and excitement died down, we came to a slow stop and I smiled to myself feeling slightly off balance. I swayed in the opposite direction.

"Careful," Moonbin smiled down at me. "We promised Lei no injuries."

"Hmm." I hummed feeling still a bit off balance. My stomach felt a bit churned before feeling myself feeling relieved again. I shouldn't be spinning so much these days.

"Are you alright?" I heard Lee ask. I turned towards him to see he was standing and walking over to me.

"I'm fine," I smiled sheepishly. His hand reached for my arm and I shivered slightly. "I was dizzy for a moment."

"You look... a bit pale," he frowned now.

"I feel alright," I spoke lightly and pulled away gently from his hand. I noticed slight tension from some of the boys.

"Cha," Rocky spoke up. "She's just really excited to see her boyfriend." Lee took a step back from me and apologized lightly to me. I smiled slightly and shook my head trying to push the awkward situation we caused.

"We should start on dinner."

"I'll help tonight!" San Ha volunteered. He made his way to the kitchen and I smiled at everyone else before making my way to the kitchen.

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I hope everyone is doing well!!

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