To String Together ( Huaze Lei )

Thoughts

Huaze Lei

My mind had many thoughts going through my head as I rushed Faye to the infirmary in the main building. Everything had happened quickly where Meizuo could not recover from his slow reflex and I had to do something. Without thought I had to take her into my arms and carry her out of the practice room. I tried my best to take the stairs as quickly as I could without causing any more harm to Faye.

It did not matter to me if everyone looked in our direction making us the center of attention. A few of my female classmates asked me in concern if Faye was alright and I shook my head passing them in a hurry. It was Ximen who was on the main floor who stopped talking to Senior Li Mei and rushed to my side asking many questions.

She fainted, because she did not eat today the doctor had told Ximen, Meizuo, and I. She wouldn't be unconscious for very long, but it was recommended to make sure she had her meals. There wasn't anything serious at the moment. The three of us sat around her bed in the infirmary not saying anything to each other.

I knew she was avoiding me after what happened. I wanted to stay in the moment I had with her, but I had to be truthful towards her. After that evening she walked away in tears, I knew I had feelings for her, but my confusion blinded my self conscious that I have always loved Jing. I love Jing, but the painful thought or the idea of hurting Faye pained me. I wouldn't have thought her presence in the short time would have a great effect on me.

My lips on hers was something I wanted more of. Holding her close to me in that moment of time I realized I was more attracted to her than I have anyone. It surprised me that my feelings for Faye at this time were stronger than my childhood, Jing, who I've known to love since we were kids.

How can I have stronger feelings for someone I barely knew? She may not have noticed from our first practice rehearsal together I felt a connection between us even though I had purposely changed the tempo on her. At first we were playing so well together before I wandered into my own thoughts not realizing what I was doing. I was feeling off that day like I had the previous days from the evening we argued. When she told me I had upset her, at the time it did not bother me and I was frustrated with Ah Si. I had put my frustration out on her.

Meizuo had mumbled something to Ximen and I looked away from a resting Faye. Ximen nodded in agreement before looking towards her. Meizuo sent me a glare and I wondered if Meizuo told him what had angered him towards me. He wouldn't tell Ximen if he knew neither of us could pursue her. For Faye's sake he wouldn't betray her. My phone buzzed from my coat pocket and I reached for it to see a text from Meizuo.

Meizuo: You're confusing the girl. Not any girl Lei. You need to figure out who you want

I sighed knowing he was right. I heard a soft groan and looked up from my phone to see Faye stirring slightly. I moved closer to the edge of my seat. Both Ximen and Meizuo look towards her waiting to wake. It took a few moments where her eyes began to open. She blinked a few times before her eyes made contact with me. If this were before Saturday evening, I wouldn't be feeling my heart beating the tempo to the intro to Choplin's, Minute Waltz. It took every muscle in me to keep myself seated and not reach for her hand.

If I wanted to pursue Faye, I first had to decide if Jing is not the one. Not only was this the responsible thing to do, but it also bothered me I may lose Jing. The thought of losing Jing when she has been there for me even my most difficult time made me guilty. It would be best if I spoke with Jing soon.

"No," I heard Faye speak softly. Ximen and Meizuo looked in my direction before turning their attention to her. I must have missed something.

"Can't you two make up already?" Ximen asked. Meizuo raised a brow towards me and I realized this was about the night at the restaurant. Ximen did not know half the things behind what happened. It seemed the three of us were keeping things from him and somehow he did pick up on it. She looked towards me again and I can tell she was thinking about our perfect moment. She looked away from me towards Ximen and shook her head.