Survive, Boy, Survive

Chapter 28

I ran away from the bad me, I slid into the wall but kept running, then he was in front of me. I breathed heavily, staring at him, he looked more demonic than I've ever been.
I said" Leave me alone!"
He said" No!" He tried to grab me, I kicked him away then took off running again, I panted heavily as I collapsed to the ground. I coughed, spitting up blood, I tried to push myself back up but my body wouldn't let me. Then he was on top of me, pinning me down," You'll never survive like this! You're weak and pathetic!"
" No, I'm not!"
" Yes, you are! Listening to your brothers! What's wrong with you?! They left you for a whole year! We survived because we did what was needed!"
" Well, we don't need to anymore! We've got Sammy and Dean now!"
" Dean's too worried about Sammy to care about us! You know how it'll go! He'll ship you off the second Sammy needs his full attention! And Sammy's possessed by an angel! What's he gonna do?!" I cried, pushing bad me off and pulling my knees to my chest, covering my face in my arms, crying out." See! I'm right! I always have been! You'd be dead if it wasn't for me! You're pathetic!"

Dean's POV
An ear-piercing scream broke through the bunker, I immediately took off for River's room. I heard Sam following behind me, I pulled out my gun as I got to the door, Sam looked at me. I opened it, turning on his light, River was surrounded by black smoke, everything was flying around his room.
Sam said" River! Can you hear us?!" He just kept screaming and crying,
I screamed" River!" I dodged a book, then continued in, as fast as I could.

I got next to River, crouching down, I got a glimpse of his face, his eyes were squeezed shut, sweat soaked his face, his hair was matted down to his forehead, and then his nose was pouring out blood. I reached into the black smoke, it constricted around my arms, trying to stop me from getting to him.
I screamed" River, can you hear me?" I grasped onto his arm and pulled him to me, he was ice-cold to the touch. The black smoke fought against me, trying to keep my baby brother inside it. The stuff around the room dropped, Sam ran to me, grabbing onto River too. We both pulled him out, the black smoke disappeared as he stopped screaming. He went limp in our arms, I looked at him,
Sam said" River? Hey!" He shook his shoulder, then felt for a pulse, he sighed, nodding to me.
" River! Wake up!" I shook his body, trying to jolt him awake the best I could. Then River gasped, jolting up, he breathed heavily, before his focus went to me. I whispered" You're okay, you're okay, you're okay."
He mumbled" Leave me alone!" He pulled from my grip, pulling his knees to his chest and covering his face.
" Buddy? Hey..." I went to grab his knee but he pulled from me again." Talk to us, River, okay? Hey, talk to me."
" Leave me alone, Dean."
" Why?"
" Because I wanna be alone."
" You? River, you've never wanted to be alone in your entire life."
" Shut up. Now I wanna be, so leave me alone." I clicked my tongue, then stood up, I hit Sam's shoulder, making him stand up too.
" Fine, all right. We'll leave you alone. So, we'll be in the library if you need us." We walked out, I went to close the door,
" No!" I stopped closing it and opened it back up," Open." I went to cut off the lights," No!" I stopped," On."
I said" All right, door open and lights on." And as we went to leave his doorway, our feet were stuck to the ground.
Sam said" Stay?" We turned our heads to look at him, he looked up, and damn did he look like the most worn-out, defeated, little kid I'd ever seen.
He said" Please."
I said" All right, we'll stay." He let go of us, and we walked back to him, I sat next to him as Sam took up the end of the bed. He curled up against me," You ready to talk now or do you just want us here to protect you?"
" Protect me."
Sam said" Okay, can we ask from what, so we're ready?"
" Bad me."
" Bad you?"
" The dark me, the one who went full throttle demonic powers. That's how I survived when we were all separated. I let myself go deep."
" Why are you afraid of yourself?"
" Because it's not all me. It's me, but ramped up a billion times."
" Like when the black smoke surrounds you?"
" Mmhmm, I'm not controlling it. It's scary."
I said" You can't be afraid of it, River. It's apart of you, so you've gotta be brave."
" I'm not afraid of it, I'm afraid of what it can do if I let it go."
Sam said" He's afraid he'd hurt us." River looked down," He knows what he's capable of doing, so he's afraid he'll hurt us. Kill us."
I said" Well, I think he won't, what about you?"
" I agree with you. He'd never kill us, let alone hurt us on purpose." River looked up at us, I immediately saw that little baby that hooked me when I picked him up from a wardrobe.
" See, River. We believe in you, you'd never hurt us on purpose." He relaxed, sighing, nodding his head.
———
River's POV
I woke up, I rubbed my eyes, yawning, then scooting off my bed. I walked out of my room.

I found Sam and Kevin,
I mumbled" What's going on? Where's De?"
Sam said" Hey, buddy."
" Answer."
" Uh, we're trying to translate an extinct language, me and Kevin. Dean's working a case, kinda with Cas, I guess."
" Extinct language?"
" Yeah, Riv." Then I felt him feel my head, he sighed," Hey, why don't you go watch a movie in my room, okay?"
" I'm cold."
" All rights to my flannels, if you go watch a movie."
" Okay." I rubbed my eyes and started walking again, then I knocked into the wall. I hit the ground, rubbing my face, I whined,
" You okay?"
" I'm good." I got back up and continued walking, I'm usually more coordinated than that, but I guess I'm just tired. I don't even feel good. 

I was with Sam, he's on the phone with Dean, Crowley said there's no way to reverse the spell on the angels and heaven.
Sam said" No, Dean, not this time. Look, Metatron built the spell to withstand any attempt to reverse it. There's no putting the angels back in heaven. It's done. Are you gonna tell Cas?"

Sam cleaned the blood out of the bowl, then opened the pouch we keep syringes in. Then he headed towards the dungeon, I followed after him.

We saw Crowley stick the needle into himself, Sam pulled me back and looked at Crowley. Then we walked away, I looked up at him, confused.