A Storm of Flames and Deceit

XXXVI. Sweeter Tomorrow

Nephele
It's hard to keep my body loose and willowy when I feel laced to the throat in panic. Even as the music quietly plays from the enchanted amplifier, I can't lose myself in it. All Eris had said was burning through me like a fever.
Did he mean it?
I can't fathom why he'd wish for me to rule beside him. We've only known each other a month, and I distinctly know that he isn't very trusting. I can't even guess what I did for him to trust me, much less deem me suitable to rule beside him.
I'm not even sure if I want that. It's just so much pressure, so much accountability. I'm fresh out of a storm cellar. I'm innocent, but I'm not naive. I know nothing of the world, of the horrors of life, the triumphs, the challenges, and I certainly don't know what it takes to be a leader.
Sure, I like to work behind the scenes. It's easy to pretend- I've been doing it my whole life. I had refuted Eris when he had spoke of me staying invisible, but isn't that what I want?
"You're tense," Eris says quietly, his hand bunched in the fabric along my waist.
I laugh dryly. "Am I?"
"You need to relax," he murmurs against my ear, rubbing the curve of my waist. I bite my lip to keep my exhale of breath inside. "Your hips are too tight."
I sink my teeth deeper into my lip, my eyes fluttering shut. Surely, he knows what he's doing, his voice low and husky like that.
"I'm not sure how to fix that," I admit nervously, my stomach fluttering something fierce for him.
"It's my mistake," he says quietly, pulling back a bit. I nearly pour to lose his nearness. "We shouldn't have jumped right into the waltz first. We should've warmed up with something more... relaxed."
He steps away further, fiddling with the amplifier. I frown. "I don't want to be so relaxed that I become sloppy," I tell him.
"It's better to be sloppy than rigid," he replies, standing from his squat. "And you won't be either."
He takes my hand again as the music begins to play, something more brassy and rhythmic as opposed to smooth and cascading. "I hate to turn the tables on our usual dynamic, but have fun," he smiles at me. "Lighten up."
I snort, letting him spin me in a massive circle. He pulls my back to his chest then, his hands settling on my hips. I gasp quietly at the friction between his hips and my back side, his breath fluttering against my neck. "Stop counting your steps," he whispers. "Feel the music through your feet."
I roll my eyes. "That's easy for you to say," I reply. "I feel like I'm going to trip every time my foot leaves the ground."
"That's part of the problem," he mumbles, sliding his hand up my waist, pulling me closer, his lips grazing my ear. "You need to trust that I won't let you fall."
I shut my eyes as his hand slides between my breasts, nearly touching the erect my my nipples. I hold my breath as his fingers slide up my throat, brushing my braids off my shoulder. "I do trust you," I swallow, nodding quietly.
And then, as sudden as a lightning strike, he dips me low, a gasp befalling me. He tilts his head at me, cradling my back. "Do you?" He grins.
I roll my eyes, shoving his face away as he pulls me back up to my feet. "Talk to me. Tell me a story about when you were younger," he whispers, our bodies closer than ever, my breasts pressed against his hard chest.
"You think that might help?"
He shrugs. "It couldn't hurt," he replies, his hand rubbing the small of my back. "At the very least it will entertain me."
I chuckle quietly, considering. "Did I ever tell you why I'm afraid of bees?"
"I didn't realize that you were still afraid of bees," he smirks, nearly laughing. I pinch his arm.
"I find them positively terrifying," I inform him, our bodies still moving to the tempo. "And for good reason."
"Alright, I'll bite," he swirls one of my braids between his fingers absentmindedly. "Why?"
"I must've been eight the first time I saw a bee- they didn't come around where I lived much, you see. There weren't many flowers to pollenate, and the rain destroyed their hives," I explain. "But it was a sunny day- the first one in a while- and I was out playing in the mud."
"Naturally," he smirks, and I flick his cheek.
"Anyways, a bee buzzed past my face, and I was enamored, transfixed," I continue. "Of course, I went after it, approaching it very gently after it landed on a log."
"You meant to make friends with a bee?" He withholds a laugh. "Why is that not surprising?"
"You can keep the snarky comments to yourself, hot stuff," I scowl up at him, our bodies still working and twisting to the music. "And that will be the last time I ever try to befriend a bee, I can tell you that."
He raises a brow. "Why is that, Nephele?"
"Because it stung me," I answer, scoffing. He laughs at me, and I think it's possible that I've never heard him laugh like that.
"Sweetheart, it was a bee," he replies, still choking on a laugh. I hate how sweet the sound is. "Bees sting. That's kind of what they do."
"I know that now," I chose him, swatting his chest. "But I was eight, and I came to that bee with pure intentions of friendship, and I left with my cheek swollen and a dead bee on my hands. You don't get it, Eris. That bee chose to die rather than be my friend. It was traumatizing."
He continues to laugh uncontrollably, and you know what? I laugh too because it's a bit funny. "Let me guess," he says between chuckles. "You still buried the bee."
I scoff. "No, of course not," I reply. "I sent him down the river on a leaf at sunset."
He snorts again, clutching his gut. "You know what," he wipes his eyes a bit, straightening his hair. "I think you're ready for that waltz now."
...
I dare say I've gotten the hang of the waltz by the time Eris and I retire for the night. I'm nowhere near good, but I'm certainly passable. Besides, Eris is so good that I think no one will be watching me anyway.
But I'm dead exhausted from today, so long and infuriating. I'm nearly stumbling at Eris' side, anticipating the second we walk through the door so that I may collapse onto our bed. He had insisted on sharing a bedroom for the sake of appearances, but my skin still buzzes with desire, so much that I fear it might blister.
Unfortunately, I don't get to fall onto our mattress right away because Eris' brothers lurk around the corner when we turn it. My fiancé pulls me behind him a bit in observation, and yes, I cling to his arm like a child, looking over his shoulder.
"Awfully late for a lady to be roaming the halls, Nephele," Lev muses, leaning against the wall.
"Yes," Eris agrees coolly. "It's a good thing she's with her betrothed."
Darian shrugs. "You are a busy man. You can't be around all hours of the day to chaperone her," he replies. "That's actually why Lev and I came by. We wanted to offer ourselves to help watch her when you can't. Hell, we can take turns or we can both be there at once."
"We can be flexible about it," Lev agrees.
Eris' jaw ticks before he yanks me forward so suddenly I gasp, and I know he's dawning his cruel act as he pulls my left hand into exposition. "You see this," he shows them my engagement ring, his grip tight and demanding. "This little diamond means that she is mine. She is mine to fuck in the ballroom, in my bedroom, wherever I damn please. This little ring means that if I'm gone, she is under obligation to protect herself however she must against unwanted advances." He flips my arm, exposing the underside of my arm to his brothers. "And these scars mean I like her odds a whole lot more than I like yours."
I'm not sure I'm breathing. He spoke so brashly, and my body felt all the more electric for it, loosening and clenching about his aggressive touch. It was all an act. He's always so gentle with me, but oh hell, I wonder if he'd ever let himself be truly rough with me. What I would do...
I don't think of it further as he drags me forward harshly, my bare feet stumbling after him as he pulls me into his room, locking the door again. "I'm sorry," he whispers gently. I shake my head, refuting his apology, but he's already frowning, his fingers still on the pulse of my wrist. "Are you okay? Your heart is beating really fast."
I swallow. He must think I'm scared. If he only knew where my heart was pumping blood to. If he only knew how my throat aches to please him. How my hips feel so suddenly drawn to his.
"I'm fine," I answer frantically. "Just tired."
He nods. "If I were a gentleman, I'd offer to take the floor," he laughs quietly. "But I really don't want to sleep on the floor."
"Don't sleep on the floor," I say too quickly to be casual. "I'll try not to kick you in my sleep."
He snorts as we both settle onto opposite sides of the bed. "Goodnight then, Neph."
I breathe out, my thighs still aching something fierce. "Goodnight, Eris," I whisper into the darkness, falling asleep thinking of his hands on my hips.
...
When I wake, he's not there. The only thing that remains is the throb between my thighs. I remember that he had that meeting with our fathers this morning. I hope it's going well.
The burn doesn't cease though, and I stumble to the bathroom, starting a bath. That is the second time I touch myself thinking Eris Vansera, and I seriously doubt it will be the last.
Once I'm all clean and as satisfied as I'm going to get, I stumble back into our room, wrapped in a towel, startled to see that Eris is there, sitting in bed cross-legged, his glasses low on his nose as he bumbles over paperwork.
Oh hell.
Had he...
No, surely if he had heard me touching myself, he would've left the room with a flush on his cheeks. Surely, if he could sense how my body still aches for him, he wouldn't look so damn innocent and cute, his messy hair falling over his brow.
"Sorry," he mutters, turning away from my half naked and soaking wet body, a pink tint on the point of his ears. "I didn't realize you wouldn't be dressed."
I'm sure he had realized that I was bathing, but I bet he thought I would dress in the bathroom. Maybe I should start.
"It's fine," I wave him off, dropping the towel while his back is turned. It's still so evident how my body is not yet satisfied, my chest puckered for him, my skin glistening and not only in leftover bath water. I bite my lip, busying myself with sliding my gown up my body. "Tell me how it went this morning with our fathers."
"It went as well as can be expected," he tells me. "I convinced them to delay any attacks on Prynthian until we receive more word from the mortal queens. I bought us some time."
"That's good," I say, feeling strangely proud. Father was not so easily manipulated, so Eris did great. I clear my throat, my mind catching on the mortal queens. I had somehow managed to forget about them. "Eris?"
"Yeah," he says quietly, slowly turning to face me just in case I was still dressing.
"Does this ever end?"
He frowns. "How do you mean?"
I breathe out. "When I was in a cellar, it was different. I had already lost. There was no fight to be won," I explain. "But out here, it feels like there's a new fight every day."
He doesn't say anything, silently sliding to his feet, approaching me. I meet his eyes in the mirror as his fingers find the bottom button of my dress, working his way up wordlessly. "That's how it will always be," he says quietly. "Even when a day comes where all our enemies are dead and all the problems we know now are resolved, there will still be struggle."
I breathe out as his knuckles graze my spine. He doesn't sugarcoat- that much I already knew. Still, it's disappointing to hear.
"But I've found- in my time- that struggle makes life taste a little sweeter," he says, entirely focused on the fastenings of my dress. "Life has been so unkind to you, Sweetheart. That means it owes you a sweeter tomorrow."
"Life doesn't owe me a thing," I reply, gazing at him over my shoulder as he still focuses on my spine. "Surely you of all people knows that you can't expect kindness from life?"
"That is my understanding, yes," he replies without much argument, gazing into my eyes at last. "But if anyone can bully something so vague and broad as life, it's me. And I can promise you that if life isn't sweet to you, I will make it be."
A smile crinkles my face. "Funny enough, that's something I can believe in," I chuckle.
"Good," he replies simply in answer, putting his glasses on the dresser. "Because I believe we have a wedding to rehearse."
...
Eris and I had practiced quite a bit last night with my rhythm, and I was nearly perfect on my timing today, reaching the end of the isle at more or less the right strum. Mother was pleased enough, so I can't be bothered by it.
I hand off my mock bouquet to my mother who will be in the front row before I slip my hands into Eris' at the end of the isle. My body relaxes more then, my skin dissolving into his touch. "The ceremony will be simple enough," Mother elaborates. "You will repeat after the priestess on her cues, and then you will kiss when she prompts you. Then, you will walk down the isle arm and arm."
I blink.
I'm not an idiot. I knew people kissed at weddings- I just really had forgotten up until now. Oh hell, my first kiss. It sounds so... manufactured. I feel a bit sick thinking about that experience being scrutinized by Prynthian. By anyone really.
It's not that I'm not ready for that sort of thing. How many times have I thought about kissing Eris? It's just that maybe I wanted my first kiss to be a bit more... private. I understand that life isn't a fairytale. People have first kisses, and they're never perfect, but damn, what I would give for privacy.
"Nephele," Mother snaps.
"I'm sorry?" I shake my head, coming back to reality.
"You can't zone out like that on your wedding day," she scolds.
"It won't happen again," I vow, feeling genuinely apologetic. And frazzled. Did I mention I felt frazzled?
"It better not," she sets her jaw. "I had asked you if you tried on the dress I got you yet."
"Actually," Eris interjects smoothly. "I ended up find a dress that I prefer her in on our trip, so she'll be wearing that to walk down the isle."
Mother nods. "As you wish."
Sometimes, it was amazing how easily mother bent to the instruction of men. If I had said something, I can't imagine how much she'd argue and gripe at me. But since it was Eris who wanted the dress- allegedly, that is- she was more than happy to keep him appeased.
"Alright, then I suppose the both of you are dismissed from rehearsals," she says, leveling a glare at me. "But Nephele, I want to speak with you."
"Actually," Eris smoothly puts his arm around me. "I have need of her in our chambers. Surely, it can wait."
Mother's jaw ticks a bit, but she nods. She hates the impropriety of me seeming to be with a man before wedlock I'm sure, but it's all under the appearance that there's nothing either of us can do about it because it is Eris' wish. It's a nice sort of trick. Eris knows how much I truly dread talking to her.
"Alright," Mother answers quietly. "I suppose it can wait."
I try not to look smug as Eris pulls me from the room.