A Storm of Flames and Deceit

XXXXXI. Locking Me Out

Eris
I awake in my bed, the sound of rain dripping gently down the window pane as I come to. I groan at the ache in my bones, turning to me side to see Nephele, fast asleep in my arm chair, hugging her arms to her chest tightly.
Then, I notice her neck is bruised. I reach out for her weakly, brushing my fingers over the swollen, inflamed skin, accidentally startling her awake. Her eyes are panicked until they fall to my retreating fingers and she heaves a relieved breath, raking her fingers through her hair.
"Nephele-"
"He's awake," a familiar voice delights halfheartedly, filling the room with his skeptical presence. Mother follows into the room closely behind Lucien. "Now he can explain what the hell happened."
"How are you feeling honey?" Mother asks, sitting at the foot of my bed. It's then I notice how vulnerable I feel. I hadn't cared so much when it was just Neph, but I'd rather not look so helpless in front of my family.
"I'm fine," I say, slipping out of bed, finding my old blood coated shirt to be gone from my body, though my filthy pants remain. It would appear someone had bandaged me up while I was unconscious as well, the purple and blue in my skin barely there anymore. "I think becoming High Lord has accelerated my healing."
"So it is true," Lucien murmurs as I slip another shirt on. "You claimed the High Lord power before you killed Beron."
I nod, buttoning up the shirt as I glance in the mirror, the only thing left of my injuries my busted lip. "I have studied the transfer between a High Lord and his heir for centuries," I explain. "It never would've been so simple as to kill Beron or arrange his debt. If I were to have betrayed Autumn so, the power would've dissolved into the land, plunging it in anarchy. I needed father to either die in circumstances completely outside of my control or him to betray Autumn's founding philosophies for the power to shift to me."
"Founding philosophies?" Mother echoes.
"All courts were founded with their own set of fundamental documents, outlining the doctrine of the Bloodline," I reply, leaning against my dresser, crossing my arms. "They are so ancient I can hardly transcribe half of the verdications, but I found that the murder of the High Lord's true heir would be considered a betrayal. If things had gone according to plan, once I was within an inch of my life, the power would've shifted into my body and protected me."
I glance around. Lucien, despite himself, looks impressed. Mother looks sick. And Neph...
"But you weren't within an inch of your life," she says quietly, looking up from the floor. I wipe my sweaty palms on my trousers.
"I can't translate half the verdications," I reply casually. "I'm not sure which could have done it."
Something shimmers in her eyes, and I know she can tell I'm lying. I hate the disappointment on her face most of all.
"I don't understand why Beron didn't just kill you," Lucien laughs easily. "It seems a lot safer."
I glance at Neph. "Fergus is still afraid of Neph. He wanted me to give up where she was," I shrug. "I knew they'd torture me until death's doorstep for it. I knew it wouldn't be fun, but I'd get the job done."
Lucien chuckles loudly, the only one amused in the room where Mother looks mortified and Neph looks exhausted. Some broken part inside me still hopes that Lucien might for once think his older brother is cool. That he for once doesn't look at me like the coward I am.
"Besides," I reply. "Fergus was thorough, bound me in metal my normal powers couldn't even hope to melt, even as he thought I was under the influence of faebane. I needed the power of High Lord to burn a flame hot enough."
"Your coronation ought to be interesting then," Lucien mocks, and we share a brotherly smile.
"By the cauldron, I can't even think of that right now," mother groans. "I'm glad your brother is amused because frankly, I'm a worried heap of mush, and it's hardly getting better."
I roll my eyes. "I'm fine, mom," I remind her.
She smiles bitterly, getting up from the foot of my bed to hold my cheek. "I know, honey," she whispers, her eyes glossy. "I just need a minute to get used to the fact that that's finally true."
I know then what she means as she takes a step back, glancing at Neph briefly where she still sits in the arm chair. "I'll be back tomorrow," she says. "I think you still have a bit more to explain regarding your timing."
I wince internally at the conversation I will have to have with her about Helion and Lucien. I'm not sure what she'll think of it, but I'm certain it can't be worse than the conversation I'm about to have with my wife.
As Lucien and mother leave the room, winnowing away, I turn back to Neph slowly, watching her as she stands from her chair. I wince again. "Neph, I-"
"Shut up," she interrupts me, walking closer, eyes fully narrowed. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up." Shes only a breath away when she throws her arms around me so suddenly that I wince, anticipating her to knee me in the balls. The last thing I expected is her to embrace me, burying her head into my neck.
Slowly, I hug her back, clinging to her so tightly I can't recall where my skin ends and hers begins. Her tears could sizzle against my skin as she fists her fingers in my shirt, holding me close. "You could've died," she whispers, her voice cracking.
Fuck, I hate to see her unhappy. "I know," I reply quietly. "And it would've all been worth it if I could've kept you from getting hurt entirely." Now, it all feels in vain because she was put in danger anyway. I'm not sure if it was mother or Lucien who awoke her, but I'm sure it was my fault that she was almost hurt.
She pulls back, giving me whiplash as she slaps me across the face, shoving me backwards a bit onto the dresser. I deserve much worse. "Selfish asshole," she sneers up at me, tears still streaming down her face. "You pick my battles for me, and you only feel sorry that it didn't work out how you planned?"
"It was my battle," I reply stepping closer, her taking a complimentary step back. "I couldn't ask you to fight it for me. It was my father."
She scoffs, a laugh tickling her lips. "We're a team, Eris," she crosses her arms. "What happened to no such thing as my? What happened to ours? Or were those just the pretty words you used to distract me into lowering my walls so that you could lock me out?"
I advert my eyes. "Nephele, I..." I trail off, the truth tasting so sticky on my lips. I face her then. I have to face this. "Nephele, I couldn't risk you. I could risk anything else in this life, my whole fucking court, but I couldn't risk losing you."
That might be the most honest thing I've ever said to her, and she scoffs incredulously. "You are a lie, Eris Vansera," she swears. "Why would I believe a thing you tell me?"
"Why else would I keep you here? Keep you away from my father?"
She steps forward glaring up at me as if the answer were so obvious. "Because, for all you talk about caring about me and needing me," she could be snarling. "You still feel compelled to take on the world by yourself."
She doesn't stay a second longer, shoving my shoulder as she leaves me staring dumbly after her. Thunder cracks in the distance as she shuts her door, locking me out.