A Storm of Flames and Deceit

11. Even When I Want to Hate You

Neph
"W- what?" The words fall from me how my fingers fall from the door knob.

"You're my mate, Nephele," he repeats, his voice softer. I turn, catching the honest look in his eyes, so narrowed in on my every movement, and yet, he looks almost as surprised as me that the words left his mouth.

"I don't-" I stammer, leaning against the door for support. "I don't understand."

He laughs hollowly. "That makes fucking two of us," he seems to say to himself, looking skyward helplessly. "For the months since I've known, I've been racking my brain, trying to figure how someone as good and right as you is meant to be my equal. I still don't have an answer."

My face falls. "Eris..."

"And for the longest time, I also couldn't figure why I couldn't work up the nerve to tell you," he chuckles again as if he were on the brink of insanity, the truth spilling from his lips like sap. "Maybe the timing was never right. Maybe I didn't want to tell you before the wedding. Maybe I didn't want to tell you all these months when you could hardly stand to look at me."

My mouth goes dry as I tuck my hands to my chest to stop the shaking.

"Maybe I'm just really good at lying, so good that I started lying to myself, even," he shakes his head, smiling at his feet, something broken in his gaze. "Or maybe I was just afraid. Maybe I'm just as big a coward as they all say."

I want to reach for him, but I don't dare.

"As it is, it took me months to figure out the true reason why the words were glued to my throat," he chuckles, seeming to forget that I'm here as he descends into the depths of his mind. Into all the things he has kept to himself this whole time. I can't imagine what keeping a thing like that locked up inside would do to a person.

"Why?" I nearly choke on the whisper, tears spilling freely over my cheeks. His gaze flickers back to me then, his smile faltering at my wet cheeks, the quiver of my lip- as if it were truly painful for him to watch me cry.

He steps forward, taking my face in his fingers, wiping my tears gently with his thumb. "I wanted you to love me," he says softly, as I watch him tuck a stray curl behind my ear, too afraid to meet his gaze. "It's foolish and ridiculous and irrational, but I wanted you to love me," he pauses, still stroking my face, his body so close to mine. "I didn't want you to love me because I was the first thing to ever show you any decency in your life. I didn't want you to love me because you were forced to marry me by the order of a man who tortured you your whole childhood. I didn't want you to love me because the fucking cauldron itself told you to," he wipes away another tear, his thumb soothing my skin.

"It's foolish and ridiculous and irrational, but I wanted you to love me for me," he repeats himself. "I wanted you to love me as I love you."

My eyes fly to his then, widening with surprise- possibly terror. A tiny gasp leaves my lips, a delicate breath. "You... love me?"

He nods, his throat bobbing. "I do," he whispers. "More than anyone."

His eyes are glassy, but I'm fully crying, my shaking hands settling against his chest. His other hand covers my fingers, his eyes gazing down at where our skin meets. "I love you more than anyone," he repeats quietly. "I love you more than I ever thought I was capable of loving something."

My mind is so full of thoughts that it feels blank, but I hear one thought so vividly that it could be screaming. I do as it bids for once, throwing my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his. I can tell it takes him by surprise, and despite the strength of his words, I pull back a bit, uncertain, gazing into his eyes interrogatively.

A smile of disbelief cracks across his lips before he charges my face again, a laugh spilling from me as my lips part for his tongue. Sparks fly, my entire body melting into his. The sky thunders outside, a building storm finally coming to fruition.

He's so gentle at first, holding my waist tenderly, his fingers fisting the fabric of his shirt that I'm still wearing, as if he were restraining himself from having me completely. It dissolves the second I bite his lip, running my nails down his spine.

He pushes me back against the door roughly, a surprised breath fumbling from my lips into his. He seems to smile, his teeth clacking against mine as he grinds his hips against me. I anchor my fingers into his hair as hoists me up, my legs wrapping around his waist as he pushes me even harder against the door. The first drop of rain falls then, and when it rains, it pours, a patter against the windows. I'm certain I've never felt a throb like this, so instant and insistent, my mouth falling open as his lips works down my throat.

That's when his teeth sink into my neck, a pained moan tumbling from me, replaced by relief when he sucks his lips against the sore spot. Thunder cracks again, heat flaring across the room. He grips my breast sternly through my shirt, his fingers easily finding my nipples through the fabric, pinching them roughly. My legs squeeze around him in reaction, a silent scream parting my lips.

His chuckle rumbles across my skin, taunting. "Easy there, sweetheart," he murmurs in my ear. "You shouldn't try it all in one night."

I groan in frustration as he sets me down, sending a glare up at him. "I think I can handle it," I roll my eyes, hands still on him.

He raises a brow in challenge, clearly smug with himself. "Sure about that sweetheart?"

"Positive," I reply, stepping closer, my hips against his. "But if you don't believe me, I invite you to feel for yourself how ready I am." I certainly feel how ready he is, his erection firm against my waist.

He smiles, retracting his hands from my hips, putting them behind his back with restraint I find myself lacking in this moment, rain still pelting the window. "We have time, Nephele," he kisses my brow sweetly. "I don't have any intention of rushing into anything with you."

What should be sweet makes me groan in frustration. "I hate you, Eris Vansera," I swear.

He smirks, looking me up and down. "Do you?" He replies, his eyes catching on the erect of my nipples through my shirt, the arch of my back.

I nod instantly. "I hate you because you have the nerve to make me fall in love with you, and you won't even fuck me."

His eyes flare to mine, his head tilting cutely. "What was that?"

Panicking, I slide my hands along the waistband of his pants, my fingers flirting with the skin below. "I said you won't even fuck me-"

"No," he interrupts, playing with my hair affectionately. "That first part."

I frown, playing dumb. "The part when I said I hated you?"

"No," he smirks, leaning closer because he knows it makes me forget how to think. "The part where you said you loved me."

I tilt my head, my lips grazing his. "Did I say that?" I ask dumbly. He nods, his eyes on my mouth. "That's odd, considering that I decidedly hate you."

He laughs quietly, the sound traveling from his mouth down my throat, sweet as nectar. "No you don't," he kisses me briefly. Teasingly. "You love me."

I kiss him back, unable to deny him. "I do," I reply, smiling against his lips. "I love you even when I want to hate you."

He smiles, kissing my nose softly. "I love you too, my sweet Nephele."

A/N:
I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE ITS DONE BUT ITS NOT!!!!! SPICE TO COME!!!! ACTION TO COME!!!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!