PAP21
If all things will be considered, I don't think we even actualized what we promised each other to be. Mula sa paulit-ulit kong pagtataboy ng ideyang iyon sa utak ko ay ngayon ko lang iyon kayang aminin.
I knew it but I just continuously run away from it. I want him to stay the way he promised he will be. A stranger. Someone who doesn't require my trust, or that one who will not disappoint me for I should not have any expectation to him. Someone I don't have a responsibility to and a person that I don't need to fear...
But I also know that I wanted him more than that.
The way I'm slowly getting used to the difference he's making in my life is scaring me. He's growing on me and every time I notice that, I fear him greater...
Yet, all the same, I keep on expecting that he'll come. I wait for him every day. I missed him so much...
"Kakadating mo pa lang, ito na agad inaatupag mo..." mahina akong tumawa habang nanatili pa ring magkadikit ang aming mga noo mula sa kaninang malalim na halik.
"Your fault. You look so pretty while singing..." He said, putting a chaste kiss once more on my lips.
My lips curved up. "Bakit ako? Sino bang nagpakanta saakin?"
Why does my voice sound like this? Ni hindi man lang tunog nangsusumbat!
"I missed you..."
I gulped. Hindi agad ako sumagot. Hinintay kong sundan niya iyon katulad ng palagi niyang ginagawa－ 'I missed teasing you' o kaya 'I missed seeing you pissed', pero hindi iyon lumabas sa kanyang mga labi.
When I realized that he's not planning to add more to it and is now busy memorizing my closed-up face, I leaned over him to ask for another kiss.
His lips curved up and gladly welcomed me. I felt his lips touch mine again. He filled me with kisses brimmed with sweetness and fire. The passion of his tender lips is reaching depths into me, making my chest warm even with my fast-beating heart.
This kiss... his kisses... makes me feel like I only know today what it feels like to be kissed by someone else...
Mabilis ang pag-angat at pagbaba ng dibdib ko noong maghiwalay kaming dalawa. Our faces stayed closed to each other.
"Ang tagal mo kasi bumalik..." I said.
Naramdaman ko ang kanyang braso sa aking likod. He pulled me closer to him even if I'm already on his lap.
"Did you wait?"
I put my arms around his body and leaned my head on his chest. "Hmm..."
"Bakit hindi ka tumawag?"
"Bakit hindi ka rin tumawag?" balik kong tanong.
Gumalaw ang kanyang dibdib dahil sa mahinang tawa. I smiled.
Kahit hindi niya sabihin, sa tingin ko ay parehas kami ng iniisip pagdating doon. We talked during Christmas and New Year via call because it's common to greet people during those celebration. Pero iyong maghingi ng update sa dapat ay normal na araw lang? It should not be like that.
Isa pa, sinabi ko din sa sarili ko noon na hindi ako tatawid sa linyang iyon. It is supposed to be my limitation since I said I won't expect anything from him. Kung nandyan, edi mabuti. Kung wala, ayos lang. But then... if he'd be like this...
"I'm mostly out of the country since the new year started."
"Business trips?"
"Yeah..."
