Jack & Lucy

Lucy

I am so angry when I push the door to the women's bathroom open. That buzzing in my chest has spread down my arms to the tips of my fingers and I was afraid that I going to have a full-blown anxiety attack right there in the office. I feel hot angry tears spill down my cheeks as I take deep calming breaths and wish I could just call Stella. Why did she have to be on mute, hours away from me?

I'm not expecting anyone to be in the bathroom, so I am surprised to find Ashleigh leaning over the counter, swiping bronzer onto her face. 

"Oh sorry," I mutter as I go to move past her but she puts her hands up and stops me from going into the stall. 

"Are you okay, Luce?" She asks me gently and I nod while wiping my tears away with my fingertips. 

"Yeah, stupid boy stuff," I confess hoping she won't press too much. 

"Oh no, it's not about Blake, is it? You're not like, still sad about him are you?" 

"No, god no. Fuck Blake," I tell her and she finally drops her hands from my arms. I watch her visibly relax before saying, "Okay good, because there's been something I have been wanting to tell you for like months now and I just didn't know how."

This pushes Jack Dalton's stupid face from my mind and curiously I ask, "Oh? Yeah, I mean you mentioned getting coffee, but if you want to talk now?" 

"Are you okay to talk now?" She asks me gently and I nod. I am now too curious to push off this conversation. 

"Yeah, so..." she starts and I can tell she's nervous. Ashleigh and I are friendly at work, but we only hang out when all of the co-workers do, so I am surprised she has anything to tell me. 

"I just wanted to clear the air about something," she finally says. 

"Okay, yeah go ahead," I tell her and I've managed to stop crying. I take another deep breath, preparing myself for the next surprise.

"Um, okay so a few months ago I ran into Blake in Scottsdale when I was there for my sister's bachelorette party and..." My stomach squeezes, she's not looking at me and she's taken a small step away so I know whatever she wants to tell me is bad. I also remember Blake telling me he ran into Ashleigh once at a bar in Scottsdale and that she was shitfaced, so I am curious if this is the same night. Did he cheat on me with Ashleigh too? Did his philandering go back to when we were in Phoenix?!

"We were all like crammed into this corner of the bar, so we were kinda like, close ya know? Well, I chatted him up because I knew he was your boyfriend and asked if you were there and he said he was like, there with work friends and not a couples thing. So anyway, his group and my sister's group kinda like, meshed cuz we were all standing near the same two tables so I was near him all night."

"Okay..." I say when she takes a breath, trying not to count how many times she says the word 'like'. She finally flits her eyes up to me, "Anyway, he was all over my sister's friend Molly. And I thought it was odd because I knew he was dating you. Well, when I ran into him at the bar I said something like, does Lucy know you're out here with other girls? And he told me you guys weren't exclusive and then..." Oh no. What's coming?

"He like, rubbed his hand down my arm and said his friends were taking bets on whether my boobs were real and he asked if he could be the one to check them out and report back," she says and her face is crimson. I'm pretty sure mine is white. 

"Ashleigh, oh my god-"

"Well, I knocked his drink out of his hand because I was like, so appalled that he would ask me that, and he got pissed. I told him to fuck off and he said he was going to have you get me fired. And tell you I came onto him," she says quickly. "I am so sorry I didn't tell you before, but then I saw you after and you seemed totally fine and like, not mad at me so I didn't want to press the issue in case like, you did believe him and try to get me fired." 

I feel sick. I truly feel like now I might throw up. 

"I am so sorry you were put in that situation, Ashleigh. I really wish you would have told me," I tell her, swallowing down the bile that's sitting in my mouth. 

"I just...I didn't know if you'd believe me and then you got engaged like two weeks later and I didn't..."

"Ashleigh, I get it. I'm just glad you told me now," I tell her, and she's still flushed while eagerly nodding her head at me. 

"Ugh, it's been such a weight on my chest. I'm sorry your engagement didn't work out but like, fuck that guy." A breath of a laugh escapes me and I nod in agreement. She rubs a soothing hand down my arm and then adds, "And fuck whoever this guy is that is making you cry now." I nod as I shake my head, refusing to let any tears spill over. 

"Yeah, fuck men who hit on your friends," I say as she shakes her hands out while facing the mirror. She quickly drops all of her sprawled out makeup into a canvas pouch and then starts toward the door. I can tell she's physically relieved to have told me by the way she walks on the balls of her feet to the door. Before she pulls it open, she looks at me and says, "If you're back on the market now, you should totally go for Jack." 

"Jack?" I ask in horror. "Why?" 

"I've totally seen the way he's lit up since you've been back and I'm pretty sure he has a crush on you," she tells me but I just adamantly shake my head no. "No seriously Lucy. The whole time you were gone, he'd just talk about how you used to do things, and then I saw the way he looked at you the day you came back. I for real think he's into you. Lucky." I eye her like she's absolutely insane but she just raises an eyebrow before disappearing behind the door. I put my palms on the counter and press myself onto them while closing my eyes. My brain has had to process too much information before my shift has even started. I thought I was coming here tonight to ask Jack why he hasn't made a move before and now, I am sickened at the thought of both him and Maggie and Blake and Ashleigh. Ugh, fuck that guy. Fuck both of them. I sure know how to pick 'em. 

Jack looked sick when I asked him about Maggie, so even if he didn't hook up with her, something went down between them. And poor Ashleigh has been weighed down by Blake's bastardness for months, wondering if I was some psycho that was going to get her fired. I also now wonder if Taisha was Blake's first affair or if he was screwing girls behind my back the entire time we were together. The night Jack and I fought in the parking lot, he said Blake was slimy. He said he'd trust Fischer with my heart before Blake and he had no idea why Blake proposed when he had no intention of committing to one woman. I told Jack he didn't have a clue about relationships since his longest one was back in high school and that Jack couldn't spot monogamy if it hit him in the face. 

That fucking night. If I would have just heeded Jack's warning, I wouldn't be this ball of anxiety, feeling like a failure and miserable at the thought of Jack and Maggie. I know nothing happened while I was still here because she would have told me. I know she finds Jack attractive and she's never been one to shy away from sharing her sexual endeavors. Which forces me to ask, why didn't Maggie tell me once I got back? I know it hasn't been long, but she texts me almost every day about other shit, so why not, 'oh hey guess what, I hooked up with Jack'. She knew I wouldn't tell the others. She had no problem telling me that she and Rissa got down and dirty in the office one night after closing time. 

I dap a tissue under my eyes to remove the smudged black liner and realize I have been in the bathroom for far too long. I was supposed to help set the bar up but I feel like Jack handling prep is the least he could do. I just need to get through this shift and then at some point ask Maggie what the hell happened between her and Jack when I am ready to stomach the details.

I can hear Stella's voice in the back of my head telling me to go demand answers from Jack. That I need to just be upfront and ask him. I wish I had an ounce of Stella's confidence when it comes to men. She'd have no problem calmly waltzing up to a jackass and asking what the fuck? 

I suck in a deep breath and remember March Madness started yesterday. I'm not going to have time to think about anything other than beer and ticket times. There is no way realistically that there will be any time for idle chatter tonight, so my answers would just have to wait.