Jack & Lucy

Lucy

It's officially been the most complicated week of my life.

I spent all of Monday crying in Stella's guest bedroom until she forced me to do facemasks and cry into white wine on her love seat in the living room while watching reruns of the Golden Girls. She offered to have a Twilight marathon but I couldn't handle romance in my life at the moment.

Tuesday, Stella forced me to put out a video and I decided to skip the one with Jack as a guest star because I couldn't look at his handsome face. I also decided to cash Marcus's check that afternoon and had Stella write up official paperwork for Marcus to become an official investor in LucyBakes. We celebrated with champagne but then I drank too much and spent the rest of the evening sobbing.

On Wednesday I realized Ruby was still at Jack's, so I strategically went to his house during his design class to pack up the rest of my shit. I was sure he didn't need a reminder of how terrible I was lingering around his space, so I figured he'd be thrilled to see it all gone when he came home from class. I then spent all evening preparing videos and the distraction helped take my mind off things. Unfortunately, I saw the cookie cutters Jack made me and started sobbing during a take, complaining that everything around me reminded me of Jack.

Thursday, we recorded my audition video for the Food Network but Stella said the videos of me baking with Jack were the best footage I had. I was glowing, funny, and confident in those tutorial videos and she said that was what the casting director was looking for. Not me trying to fake it, barely holding it together while I piped frosting on gnomes. I allowed her to submit it and by Friday afternoon, she had already heard back, asking for a Zoom interview for the following week. All I wanted to do was text Jack the news, but I figured he'd rather hear news that I was hit by a bus or something.

Stella had a work function on Saturday that I forced her to attend so I could stay back and have a night in with wine and junk food. I just wanted to cuddle up on the couch and watch scary movies alone. I was halfway through the Conjuring when my phone rang, startling the shit out of me. I flung my phone so it fell just perfectly between the couch cushions, landing under the couch with a thud. After I fished it out, my entire body caught on fire when I saw it was Jack. I waited to see if he was going to leave a message and was surprised when I heard a ping. I could instantly tell Jack was shit-faced in the message but it didn't sound loud so I didn't think he was at a bar. I refrained from checking his shit all week, but I could no longer bear it. I had to see where he was.

I pulled up Find My iPhone and quickly typed in Jack's email and Lacrosserocks1993. I was stunned to see I had access and then waited impatiently for his green dot to come up on my map. I released a relieved sigh when I saw his dot at his house. It was Saturday night and Jack wasn't out picking up chicks somewhere.

After trying to push all thoughts of Jack hitting on women out of my brain, I realized that I could not do this anymore. I was miserable and from the sounds of Jack's message, he was too.

On Sunday, I wake up determined. I lived a week without Jack and it was a week too long. I thought I needed space, a personality change and a legitimate therapist while I worked my shit out, but I realized I had what I needed all along. I had Jack. Everything I told him in that letter was true, so why was I suddenly acting like I wasn't aware that Jack was perfect for me. I was so scared that I wasn't perfect for him and so in my own head that I wasn't listening to him properly. Jack knows I am a mess and was ready to take me on. I know Jack doesn't have the best history with women, but I was ready to take him on. My own fear crippled me and I can't run away from the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was relieved the day I quit dancing. I felt weightless. But I have been a big, fat, miserable regretful mess since Jack walked away from me and that's how I knew it was love. I ruined us. Me thinking I had to be perfect for Jack and he had to be perfect for me ruined us. We're both a mess in different ways, but we can be each other's mess while we figure it out. I might not need the space I thought I did, but I should probably still check into therapy to get to the root cause of my self-sabotage. I deserve to be happy. And Jack Dalton makes me the happiest.

I kick the covers off of me and dash into the living room. Stella is sitting in her white comfy chair, wrapped up in a silk robe and sipping her coffee from a "Boss Bitch" mug when she sees me fly into the room.

"You're up early," she says in surprise.

"I need to win back Jack."

"Finally, I have been dying for you to say that babe," she tells me and then sets her mug on the side table. "What do you need from me?"

"A grand gesture! That doesn't involve the DaVinci code or maxing out credit cards." She narrows her eyes at me and I wave a hand at her, "Long story." I then hear a rustling coming from her side of the room and am shocked to see Fischer trying to sneak out of Stella's room. My wide eyes find hers as I say, "There's been a development."

"Yes. There's been a development." She then turns her head toward the kitchen and says, "You're busted Mark. You can come out here." Fischer does the walk of shame into the living room and I adjust my nightdress to make sure I am not exposing myself.

"Good morning," I say cheerfully and he gives me a sheepish smile. I'm going to have to get the full details from my best friend later.

"Morning Luce, Stella said you were usually a late riser."

"I am. But I am winning back Jack today so I needed to rise and shine." I watch as he darts his dark eyes to Stella with his lips slightly parted in an O. "Unless you think I shouldn't?"

"I'm just going to say that Jack is still really hurting. So if you do this, you can't run away again. You need to commit."

"I know. My head was up my ass Fish. I was stupid. And now I need to tell Jack that I love him."

"She's going for a grand gesture," Stella adds and Fischer looks reluctant.

"You could just call him you know?"

I shake my head. "No, you don't understand. Jack deserves big. You should have seen what he did for me in the hotel room in Tucson."

"I don't need the visual," Fischer winces but I give him a dramatic eye roll

"He made it romantic and special. He made sure I knew he was listening and he was trying to go above and beyond. I need to do that."

"You could make him a video. He watches all of them religiously. I think they are his porn." Stella swats at him and Fischer shrugs like he doesn't know what he said wrong.

"Jack watched my videos? Like before we started dating?" I ask and Fischer looks at me like I am a complete moron.

"Jack has followed you from the beginning. He's BakingBuddy or whatever, he leaves stalker comments on all your shit."

"Jack is BakerBuddy1234?" I gasp. "I always thought it was you, Stella."

"Me? Why me?"

"For the marketing and the algorithms. BakerBuddy was always one of the first to like and comment after I dropped a video." I cannot believe Jack has been supporting me undetected for years. He never said anything. He'd always act like he catches the posts I do on Instagram, but was too cool to watch baking videos on YouTube. My heart swells and I realize I am truly stupid. How could I let this man get away? I snap my determined gaze to Stella and say, "I need to make a video.

"I'll get the camera."