Jack & Lucy

Jack

I'm nursing a hangover on Sunday afternoon when my phone pings, notifying me that LucyBakes has just uploaded a new video. I dropped my phone to the floor, refusing to cause my heart any more pain. Bre had finally left after she realized I was sober but I still was on the couch, in the same clothes I was in when she arrived the night before. I was going to give myself one more day to be a gluttonous shit bag before getting my act together and attempting to put Lucy behind me. She never responded to my call yesterday and the silence spoke volumes.

I was surprised I didn't hear from Fischer either, I had thought he'd try to entice me onto the lake today since I bailed on him all last week. My phone pings again and I wonder if Fischer knew I was thinking about him. I lift the phone again and see his name on my screen. There he is. I open the message and read,

Fischer: "Did you watch Lucy's latest video?"

Fischer doesn't usually mention Lucy's videos which makes me curious.

No, Why?

Fischer: You probably should.

I am confused by his cryptic text and intrigued enough to open YouTube. I find Lucy's video and see it's titled "Afterglow". I hit play and then watch her pretty face fill my screen.

"Hi bakers, Lucy here. I know I normally don't drop new videos on Sunday's but this one had to be released today. I could not wait any longer to put this into the universe, so I broke my schedule to make sure this got out immediately." Lucy normally has stacks of cookies around her with Ruby somewhere in the frame and fun sound effects dispersed throughout the intro, but this one is just her standing in Stella's kitchen with a plate of brownies in front of her.

"Today I am coming at you with a very special recipe, one that might come in handy when you do something incredibly stupid and need something that conveys how very sorry you are for being so incredibly stupid. I call this very special recipe, I fucked up brownies." Lucy bleeped the cuss word but it's still obvious as to what she said.

"You might find yourself needing this special blend of dark chocolate and caramel when you need to tell someone how much you regret hurting them. When words aren't enough to express your regret and an apology isn't enough to erase the pain you caused." She tilts the pan of gooey brownies toward the camera and says, "These are for when you mess up so badly that your heart aches and your eyes are sore from crying and you just need something else to focus on besides how badly you screwed up." She takes a knife and carves a square into the brownies and then lifts one up toward her mouth.

"If you whip up these brownies, maybe it will be an ice breaker for a conversation you put off for too long. Showing up with a pan of these might just make begging for forgiveness and a fresh start a little easier. See you can stuff one into their mouth, and the gooeyness and the caramel will have them quiet long enough for you to tell them how sorry you are. You can tell them you were scared you weren't good enough for them and instead of communicating that, you hurt the one person that you've ever truly loved. The chocolate chips in these will have them reaching for another, so you can continue on and tell them your life sucks without them and all the fears you had were just in your head. While they swallow down the caramel swirls, you can put on Afterglow by Taylor Swift and they can listen to her sing all the things you wish you could say. For copyright laws, I can't do that here, but I encourage you to listen to it. Everything you want to say is in that song." Lucy winks to the camera and I feel warmth in my cheeks.

"Maybe after the third brownie, you can tell them to take it easy because they are rich and you don't want to cause them any more pain by giving them a stomach ache. Then you can coyly slide the pan to the side and reach over and kiss them. They'll taste divine from the chocolate. After you're done, lean back and tell them you love them. You have loved them since the moment you met them, and it was stupid to think you could live without them. They might accept your apology, or they might hate chocolate and tell you to get lost. But hey, you put yourself out there. You jumped. You also probably made a mess in the kitchen. Recipe link is in bio." The video ends and then text appears that says, "If you want to try this recipe in person, meet me where I fell in love with you." I quickly drop the phone and scramble off the couch. I shower in record time and pull on fresh clothes. As soon as I get into my car, I look up Afterglow and digest the lyrics all the way to Mag's.

Lucy knows she fucked up. Her insecurities got the best of her but it wasn't entirely her fault. She thought I was a shitbag because I have been a shitbag in the past. She didn't mean to break us and I need her to know she hasn't.

When I am a block away from Mag's, I hope that she doesn't make me go inside. I don't want to hash things out with an audience and I really have no desire to see Maggie. When I pull up to the building, I see her civic parked near the alley, away from the back door that leads into the bar. When Lucy spots my Jeep, she kicks her door open and I hardly get my car in park before I am also jumping out of the passenger seat. She closes the gap between us and throws herself into my arms. I breathe her in as I hold her against me.

"I'm so so sorry Jack. I should have talked to you," She sobs out and I'm surprised to find tears coming down my cheeks. She pulls away from me and says, "I need to stop internalizing everything. I should have just asked you about Keeley when I saw the texts on your watch."

"I was going to tell you, Lucy. I promise. I was going to tell you after dinner."

"I should have given you the chance instead of jumping to conclusions. I know you're not that guy with me."

"I'm not Lucy. I learned my lesson. I will not toy with your feelings or just tell you things to placate you. Okay? I'm not hiding anything from you." I wipe her face with the palms of my hands as she nods.

"I just felt like you do so much for me. You make me better and I felt like all I was giving you back was doubts and insecurities. You were trying so hard and I hated making you feel like it wasn't enough. You are good for me Jack, but I was afraid I wasn't good for you."

"Lucy, you make me give a shit. I have never cared about anyone other than myself and you are forcing me to care. I want to care. I want to be good for you, I have never wanted that before. Don't you see that?" I give her a caring smile and this time, she's the one wiping tears off my face.

"I need to start trusting you. I need to start believing you when you say you love me."

"And I need to show you I can be trusted. I need to show you that you are good for me. You make me better. How can you not see that?"

"I know. I'm stupid, okay?"

"No, I am stupid."

"We should get those shirts that say I am with stupid," she jokes, and then I pull her face toward me so I can kiss her. She falls into me and she's clutching onto my shirt for dear life. She finally pulls away from me long enough to say, "I love you so fucking much," and then continues kissing me. I lift her off the ground and spin her around in glee.

"I am so annoyed that your Hallmark movies were right. Big Gesture for the win," I confess as I drop her back down on the ground.

"I tried to make the puzzle easy for you and free!"

"I am so glad to not be at the airport," I admit and she throws her head back to laugh. "Can I take you home now? Did you have a long enough sabbatical?"

"It was too long. If you want me, I am yours."

"I only want you if you come with those brownies."

"They are in the passenger seat. The sun is keeping them soft."

"I have vanilla ice cream at home."

"Your favorite," she says with a smile and I nod.

"See, it pairs well with everything. Not bland at all." I drop my head down to kiss her and she throws her arms around my neck as she kisses me back.