Never Together Nor Apart

[Chapter 93]

[Lily is 1 year (12 months); Alana is 25 weeks (6 1/4 months); Noah is 10 weeks (2 1/2 months); Aaron and Alana has been in witness protection for 2 1/2 weeks]

Emily's POV:

I wake up cold, annoyed, and miserable. The bed beside me is empty like it has been for the past two and a half weeks and there is no baby to wake me up. I turn over, looking at the empty spot where Aaron used to lay. All there was now was a slight dip in the mattress that was quickly being filled due to the lack of weight. I look around the room. Every picture of Alana, Aaron, and I is gone. There is no trace of either of them. Nothing to show for the life I had created. Everything I had come to know is now gone, but not forgotten. I get up, the cold wooden floor freezes my feet. The sensation quickly becomes so cold it burns. I cringe at the way it feels. I slip through the hallway, I stop at the door where my daughter used to be. I stare at the door, not opening it, keeping the illusion that everything is okay. I close my eyes imagining myself opening the door to see my healthy baby girl. Instead, I open my eyes to see the door now open, empty, and her gone. I sit in her room after slamming the door shut. I let myself break down. I cry for hours, not caring to eat. Not caring to sleep. No caring to take care of myself. There was no point. There is no reason to care if my life had already been stripped away. All that's left is the hard shell of what I used to be.

*time skip*

I wake up to my phone ringing. I look around confused at my surroundings. I quickly remember I'm still on the floor, my face and eyes red and puffy from my earlier sobs. I quickly get up, rushing into the bedroom where I had left my phone. I look at the caller ID to see Rossi. I contemplate whether to answer it or not. Eventually, I do, making sure to sound as cheerful as possible.

"Hello," I answer.

"Emily, are you okay? I've called you twice today already," he says worried.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just needed a nap after this past week. It was definitely a long case," I dismay actions.

"Oh," I hear him whisper.

I let the silence settle in, not knowing what to say.

"How long were you in there?" He asks after awhile.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"How long were you in Alana's room today?" He calls out my earlier activity.

"What— I... I wasn't in her room," I stutter.

"Emily. You forget I used to be a parent. I've lost a child too. While it may be different with your child still being alive, you have still lost her. I know what you are going through whether you like it or not, but don't lie to me. Now how long were you in there?" He scolds me.

"From the time I woke up until you called," I admit.

"Emily, you've got to get out of that house. You've been cooped up in there since we started our vacation and nobody has heard from you since then," He says more softly.

"I just need to get back to work," I mumble.

"You know we still have three days left," he sighs.

"I could still focus on cases now. I can go through and figure out which ones we should take! I can try to build a profile at the BAU and send it to the stations who've called us in. I can-" I ramble.

"I mean three days left that you need to do something else. Not work. Don't think I haven't noticed you deflecting what going on. I've watched how you were doing from day one and each day you've distracted yourself more and more and I've watched you put so much pressure on yourself. What you're doing isn't healthy Emily and we've all witnessed it," Rossi explains.

"You don't know what you're talking about," I say with watery eyes.

"Emily. I do. And we just want to help," He assures me.

"Rossi, I'm fine. I don't need any help an day most certainly don't need the people who are supposed to be my friends and family, profile me like I'm an unsub. I'm your boss now and I don't need to be watched or questioned. Now if you need something, you can talk to me about it on Monday," I say before hanging up.

I slam my phone on the table, furious at how they read me so well. It's nobody's business but my own and it needs to stay only my business unless I say otherwise. A few moments later, I pick up my phone and dial a number I never thought I'd dial again.

"Hello," She answers on the other end.

"Mother, I need to come home for a few days," I bit my lip, nervous at her answer.

"Alright. I'll have Marcus book you a flight for tomorrow morning," She states without question.

"I— ok," I say cautiously.

"I'll see you tomorrow Emilia," She says before hanging up.

I rub my temples. How had my life become this? The last time I had spoken to my mother I pretty much destroyed our relationship. The hormones mixed with all the pressure and stress she had inflicted on me had finally made me snap. Some of the thing she said were unforgivable, but I wasn't an angel when it came to speaking with her either. I new what I said was wrong when I said it, but that didn't stop me from acting out. I sigh, thinking about how I had only proved my mother to be right. I had gotten pregnant with a guy I barely knew. I had given my baby to her kidnapper. And now I had let my boyfriend and daughter be taken from me yet again. Nothing I did was ever right, just like mother had said. And now all I could do was go back and show her my faults and pray to be forgiven.

I had no idea where this chapter was going when I started it, but I definitely like how it ended. Not only was there an outburst from Emily, but she is also returning to the one person she said she would never contact again!

1100 words