Never Together Nor Apart

[Chapter 97]

[Lily is 1 year (12 1/2 months); Alana is 27 weeks (6 3/4 months); Noah is 12 weeks (3 months); Alana has been in witness protection for 5 weeks]

Emily's POV:

I drive over to JJ's on my day off. I hadn't seen her in awhile, and if I'm being honest, I was missing her company. During the ride, I continuously look in the back to check on Alana, only to remember she wasn't there. By the time I get to JJ and Reid's, I'm a mess. I try to make myself look as presentable as I can, but I fail miserably. Before I knock, I see Reid open the door.

"Emily!" He smiles and leans in for a hug.

"Hey Reid, how's the day off?" I ask.

"I honestly don't know how JJ handles these two," He laughs.

I laugh as well, masking the pain it brought me.

"Well, come in inside, I know JJ can't wait to see you".

I walk in, seeing the house littered with toys. Most of which are pink.

"Emmy," I hear a young voice squeak.

"Wow, she's already talking?" I say impressed.

"It's all Spence's genes," JJ explains, kissing him on the cheek.

Lily motions for me to pick her up, grabbing the air with her hands. I do as she requests and make my way to the couch.

"How does she know my name?" I ask.

"Well, I've been getting bored, so I had Garcia send pictures of everyone so she would know who everyone is," JJ laughs.

"I don't know how you manage it all. I can barely-" I pause, not wanting to say my next words.

JJ gives me an understanding look before squeezing my shoulder.

"You wanna talk about it?" She asks.

I nod.

"I'm sure daddy would love to spend some quality time with you and Noah! Can you say daddy?" JJ asks Lily.

"Daddy!" She squeals.

"Ahhh, the crazy sock monster is coming to get you!!" Reid scoops her up as well as wheeling a sleeping Noah into their playroom.

"So, I haven't gotten to see you since he left. How are you holding up?"

"I'm always grabbing for him in bed at night, but he's never there. Even driving over here, I was checking on Lana in the backseat," I take a deep breath.

"Em.." JJ pulls me in and holds me.

I feel the hot tears escaping, falling onto her shirt.

"I feel so selfish because there are some families that have to spend years apart and it hasn't even been two months for me," I sob.

"Emily, you have a right to be upset. You had your family taken away from you. I have no idea what I'd do if it happened to me," she rubs my back, trying to calm me.

"I've just been so angry recently. I feel like I've blown up at everyone and they haven't done anything wrong. Rossi is constantly checking up on me and I just feel like I'm trying to climb a mountain without the proper gear," I spit out.

JJ sways with me in her arms, just listening to my words.

"I even was mad at the new agent just for taking Aaron's spot on the team!" I pause for a moment before continuing, "I guess it's not all bad though. I did get to see my mother and we reconnected, at least as much as we could. I'm still pretty angry at her for not being there all those years, but what's important is that she's trying now ".

"Emily, that's great! I know how much a mother's support means. I know how it feels for them to not be there emotionally," she agrees.

I sigh, letting out a deep breath before changing the subject.

"Well, now that you know how much of a mess I am, how are you doing?" I ask.

"Me? Well I definitely understand how Garcia feels when everyone goes on cases. I didn't realize how much she worries about us until I had to experience it for myself," she admits.

I nod, urging her to continue.

"I've also been pretty busy thinking about the wedding. I just want to make it so everyone will be comfortable. I'm definitely going to wait until Hotch and Alana are back though," she adds.

"JJ, you don't have to do that. I know Aaron will understand. We don't know how long they could be gone for," I remind her.

"Emily, I don't care, I just want everyone to be safe. Plus I know you'll get them home. Now, Spence hasn't been spying or anything, but he, as well as Garcia and Morgan, have noticed that you spend all your free time on the Scratch case. I'm not saying you shouldn't," She explains.

"Just promise me that if their gone for—for over a year... that you'll um, that you'll have your wedding," I try to keep the tears from spilling out of my eyes once again.

"Em, they'll be back before that! I know they will," She gives me another right hug, letting some of my worries melt away.

Okay, so I know this is incredibly short and I am soooo sorry for that!! I really needed a filler chapter to bridge the gap a bit and this was what I came up with. It's about to get very interesting, all while ending very soon. <3 <3

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