Reckless Hate To Love Me ⚊ Enhypen Jay

CONFUSING FEELINGS

The next few days pass in a blur. You spend most of your time huddled away in a medical lab, surrounded by white-coated technicians who poke and prod at you as though you're some complicated puzzle that needs solving.

Your mom has booked a whole week of tests. Even though you agreed to them, it's starting to irk you a little. You haven't seen the outside world for so long, and being relatively idle is making your brain go a bit stir-crazy.

This morning, on your way to the cafeteria, you can't help but let your mind run to Unit Enhypen. They've kept their distance - as has most everyone in the facility and you don't know if it's because they're unsure how to deal with you now, or if they have no interest because they don't need to guard you like before.

The team of them have bunked down here in guest rooms too, and your gaze flickers over their doors as you turn the corner of the corridor.

As you make to pass by their rooms, as you have every morning for the past few days, your find your steps faltering to a stop outside of Jay's door. Unlike the ominous steel doors in the rest of the facility, the guest room doors are wood, though they're still slathered in that same green paint.

You peer at the grain of the wood showing through the paint as though staring at it closer might give you some clue as to why you've stopped here. Do you really want to talk to Jay right now? The team leader is brooding and imposing in normal situations…you're not sure how he's dealing with all of this.

You can't seem to explain it…. It's like you can't help but want to see him.

Your face contorts at the fuddle of thoughts that clash in your head. Okay, so there've been some…moments. But that doesn't necessarily mean anything. That's just…people…being close….

The more you try to clear your head, the more your teeth grind together.

Shaking away the intrusive thoughts, you turn back to the door.

Raising your hand, you bring it forward to thump it against the wood - only to almost topple forwards as the door swings open. Thankfully, you manage to keep your balance, snapping your hand back to my side and staring over Jay in the doorway.

He stares back, a brow quirking up, "Something you need, Detective?"

"I was just checking in", you reply after regaining your composure, "To clear the air with everything that's happened"

He folds his arms, and your gaze flickers to his suddenly stretched t-shirt with the motion. It's light blue - the most colour you think you've ever seen him wear then your attention flashes back to his eyes as he begins talking.

"That is unnecessary", he replies in a curt tone, "I thought you were busy with the tests?"

The reminder makes your shoulders drop a little, "I am"

He nods, "Then at least you can now be useful"

The statement makes your eyes widen, a deep frown eventually settling on your face.

"Is this a thing you do all the time?", you qsk, arching a brow and letting out a breath, "Insult everyone as much as possible?"

Jay's eyes narrow a fraction, though you notice his shoulders shift as though your words put a weight on them, "I do not insult. I speak honestly. Something I'm at liberty to do with you now that everything is out in the open"

He meets your eye, "Working with a human will only slow us down"

It's like he just can't stop being an ass!

You lean back, hands on your hips, "I'm not exactly thrilled to be working with you either. Being teamed with a bunch of -"

"Monsters?", the word growls from between his lips, and he takes a wide step forward towards you. There is a definite threat in his voice and yet, it's hard to ignore the pain that streaks across his face when he says it.

Your gaze snaps to meet his, the man having gotten even closer when he threw the accusation at you.

The word hangs in the air, heavy and intrusive. Your frown softens, your gaze catching his and your heart skips in your chest, as though wanting to beat out of yourbbody and closer towards him.

"I don't think you're a monster, Jay", you reply finally, your tone just as serious as his had been.

The hostility in his stance drops, though he seems hesitant. A frown fights for position on his expression, but it succumbs to regret instead, "Maybe you should"

"Why?", the word is breathy as it leaves you, an emotional weight seeming to grip at your chest from nowhere.

The slightest smile curves his lips. "Because it would be safer for you", he said as the frown finally sets deep on his face, "For me"

He shakes his head, straightening himself, "I mean for all of us. We won't harm you, but we're still dangerous"

The tension of the previous moment, which Jay had obviously been keen to dispel, doesn't seem to budge. You shift under the weight of it.

"Right", it's all you can say as a reply. With silence the only thing to greet you, you make to turn away.

You only take one step before his hand reaches out to your arm.

"Detective…."

You spin around and meet his eyes, your gaze dropping to his lips as they seem to form around words he can't quite speak.

"Ah, there you are!"

Jay's hand snaps away from you so quickly he almost stumbles a step back.

The doctor who has been treating your injury waddles forward, jostling a bunch of papers in his hands.

"I've been looking for you, Detective. Time for your check-up!", he says it so cheerily he makes it sound like going on a ride at a theme park.

When you glance over your shoulder, Jay is already retreating back into his room. Your focus flutters down to where he'd touched your arm; a tingle is still erupting on your skin where the contact had been.

"Detective?", the doctor repeats, pursing his thin lips.

"Sure", you give a nod, following the rotund little man down the hallway, though you can't help but cast a final glance back down the hall.

✒

As soon as the door is shut, Jay leans back against it with a groan. He rubs his hands over his face before clasping them behind his neck. What had he been thinking, reaching out to the detective like that?

And what had he even planned to say?

Probably just to thank her for checking in. It was a nice gesture, considering the hell the detective must have been through these past couple of days.

Jay drops his hand down, staring at it. He flexes his fingers in the hope it might ease the strange sensation coursing through them and up his arm.

With a snarl, he shakes the feeling away and shoves himself from the door. The detective is confusing things far more than is necessary