Collateral

The last love song

I wake up in my hospital bed. Two days have passed, once again as soon as I open my eyes my first thought is Khan.

I put a hand on my stomach, I feel the baby kick, it makes me smile.

- "Good morning, my love."

I talk to my belly, but soon the sadness takes over again.

I want Khan to be here, I want him to feel our child growing. I fight the tears that insist on falling.
The feeling I had rejected for so long now takes over me, all I want was a chance to talk to him.

So I get out of bed and walk slowly down the hallway until I reach Khan's room. He looks so serene.

- (It was my fault, I insisted on going to the funeral, Khan warned me that I was still in danger.)

I run a hand through his hair, he doesn't move. The tears fall again.

- "Please, come back. You can't leave me now."

He hasn't woken up since the accident, doctors keep him asleep to lessen the damage.

I take his hand and place it on my stomach.

- "Can you feel it? He started to kick.  See how strong he is? He needs you, Khan. He needs his father. I need you"

I don't know if Khan can hear me, but I keep talking to him for a long time.
I sit in the chair beside the bed and lay my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. This sound keeps the hope alive inside me.

- "Please, come back to me.  I have so much to tell you."

I stare at his face hoping to see any reaction, any sign of a response, but it doesn't happen. Then I reach over and place a kiss on his cold lips.

- "I fell in love with you, I can't lose you now. You can't let me raise this child alone."

After a while I fall asleep with my head on his chest, lulled by the sound of his heartbeat.

- "Esra... Esra."

I open my eyes slowly, I think I'm still dreaming.  I heard Khan calling me.  But when I fully wake up I see that he's actually open-eyed smiling at me.

- "I didn't want to wake you up, but my arm is numb."

His voice is still weak. I stare at him, I can't believe it.

- "You're here, you woke up."
- "Where would I go?"
- "I was so scared."
- "What happened?"

A few tears wet my face, Khan doesn't seem to understand.

- "We had an accident as we were leaving the funeral, but everything is fine now."

He looks at me startled and tries to get up.

- "Did you get hurt? The baby?"
- "No, nothing too serious. We're fine, stay calm."

I make him lie down again.

- "How many days did I sleep?"
- "Two days."
- "Esra, you have to call the lawyer."
- "Why? What lawyer? Khan the Hakan trial has already taken place."
- "No, your idiot lawyer."

He settles down on the bed and moans a little.

- "Call your idiot lawyer and tell him there won't be a divorce hearing"

I can't help but laugh, he still thinks he can order me around even in the hospital bed.

- "You just need to rest now."
- "Your father..."

He looks at me worriedly.

- "He's fine, he's already gone home."

He closes his eyes for a moment making me scared.