[DISCONTINUED] Intertwined (G Sans x Female Reader)

Chapter 36: Hard to Admit

- Y/N's POV -

I have these feelings, unfamiliar feelings that I want, no, need to get rid of. I want to say it's his fault, but I know it's mine. I'm enraged and upset and confused. No matter how much I try to push him away, I let him back in. He forgives me so easily, showing me love instead of hate. Why? Just why he is so nice to me? Most people would ignore me, but he... actually said something to me that day, spoke to me. I was angry, that's for sure. 

"Why did you become my friend!?! Why do you involve yourself with me!?! I mean, I'm weird and awkward. I have mental problems, possible depression, I yelled at you, you should be angry at me! So just... why?" My voice roaring with anger and frustration, hot tears running down my face. G looks into my eyes calmly, his pinpricks filled with empathy and compassion.

"Because doll... I see you as someone who not only needed someone else, but someone who was special--- " he began. "You're not like the other humans, not at all, you're-- something out of this world to me. Astonishing in fact." He spoke in a soft tone, wiping away a few tears from my cheek. I went silent. I retreat back a step from his touch. I heavily sigh closing my eyes, turning away from G's gaze.

"So what are you trying to say then?" I hesitate, enveloping my arms around myself.

"I'm trying to say I-- I love you," he nervously proclaims, rubbing the back of his neck. He sighs. "But-- I understand if you don't feel the same." I felt my face heat up at his words, but now was not the time.

"It's not that, it's just you-- you make me feel something I've never felt before," I hesitate but proceed to talk. "And it frightens me. I don't know if I like you or like the idea of you, it's complicated. Ever time I'm with you, you make me feel happy, calm, and at peace. When your not around I feel so lonely and it confuses me." I look his way, my eyes aware and still yet confused. "You're a really nice person G, but we can't-- I mean I can't return your feelings. I don't like you like that," I admit the truth, but only a quarter of it. "I'm sorry." I didn't even dare to look him in his pinpricks at that moment because I knew right then and there, our friendship altogether had ended.

"I understand doll," G said, his voice sounding strong, masking his sadness.

"No, no you don't," I grimace, gripping the cloth of my arm.

"It's okay. We can-- move past this," G smiles faintly. There it is, he's forgiving me again. Why isn't he mad? Why isn't he yelling or shouting? It doesn't make sense. I don't want to hurt him anymore, I can't hurt him anymore. Make up your my mind!

"I don't think we should be friends anymore."

"Doll that's not---" G starts.

"Yes it is!" I interrupt, tears welling up in my eyes again. "Things after this are just going to escalate, get worse! Our friendship is never going to be the same, meaning I can't stick around." I turn around, about to walk away.

"Dove think about this--" G gently grabs my hand, attempting to stop me from leaving. "Y/N please." I turn my head back. My eyes travel to his, my gaze firm and cold. I look back ahead.

"Goodbye. G." I snag my hand from his hold and begin walking. I pause, before moving again. "Oh, and please, don't call." I leave him standing there, even though I don't want to. I walk back to the social part of the beach and grab my stuff, put my clothes back on, and leave without a word to anyone. I don't want to be bothered nor do I want anyone to bother me. I know what I did was on impulse, but I know it's for the best. At least... that's what I thought.

- G's POV -

She walked away. I  let her walk away. It all went to shit so... so quickly. I don't know what to do, how to act, or feel. I want to feel upset or angry or anything. But the only feeling I have right now is dazed. Maybe I should've never told her I liked her, then we wouldn't be here right now. No... it was coming one way or another, but why like this?

I love her, is that so bad?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Y/N's POV -

I reach my apartment within a matter of minutes, unlocking the door and entering. I slam the door shut behind me and throw my keys across the hallway out of anger and frustration.

"Ugh!! So... so, stupid!!!" I yell to myself, my hands balled into fists on my face as I tilt my head back closing my eyes. "Why did you do that!?! Just what are you so afraid of!??!!" I could feel tears well up in my ears, my vision getting cloudy all over again. My breath had moderately quickened, my heart rate increasing. "Just... why?" I bewail, whispering. I drop to my knees on the floor, my head hanging low as I began to feel tears roll down my cheeks, the salty liquid pouring from my eyes. I cried, hiccuped, and sobbed attempting to relieve the pain I felt in my soul. I wept shamefully against the wall full of regret and sorrow, knowing I couldn't change the past. I couldn't change what happened or what I said, or what I wanted to say but didn't. I couldn't change... anything.

What have I always been afraid when it comes to relationships? Or in this case love?

Commitment. The one thing I don't know how to handle because I'm afraid of getting hurt by others, but in the end... I ended up hurting the one I loved and that was G.