Dysphoric (DNF-ftmGeorge)

BONUS 1

Dream finds out about George's unhealthy coping methods.

(Y'all, completely forget about the fact that in the last chapter George showed his chest and probably his arms aswell. Just erase it from your memory. Fwoosh.)

Triggers
-self harm scars
-mentions of SH
-trauma/ptsd
(If I missed any tell me please)

3rd person:

The kitchen echoed with laughter, the whole household as well as Quackity were sat at the table eating dinner.
Recently, this was a rare occasion. Sapnap and Karl had spent the past few weeks at Quackity's again, sometimes the noirette would stay over at theirs but they wouldn't all eat dinner together as they would go out somewhere nice.
Apart from that, Bad and Skeppy had been spending more time together at each others houses, sometimes eating in the shared home with the others.

But this was the first time that the whole house was eating together during the past month or so. Quackity was visiting at this point, and so was forced to join them.

Everything was great. Laughing, joking, filling eachother in on what they had missed. Everything was going great.
George was so carefree, this was one of his rarer moments of relaxation where he didn't worry about anything, not even his scars.
The brunette has been clean for months now, he hadn't done it since Sapnap found out. And like his friend had suggested, he had spoken to him whenever he felt he needed to, ranting or just sitting in silence, his company helped.

The brunette was working up to 6 years once again, and recently his mental health has been great! It was going to take a long time to reach his goal, but since his surgery he has had this boost of euphoria to keep him going for a while, and distract him from all those dark thoughts.

The brunette was currently sat next to Dream, a huge smile on both their faces as they ate and talked with the others, he wore wore long sleeve white shirt.

That was his first mistake.

His second?
Deciding to sit next to Quackity, as smart as he may be, he was pretty clumsy, especially when he was filled with energy.
The shorter was telling them all a story that he was very much invested in, yelling and gesturing his his hands in quite violent motions.

And eventually the inevitable happened, Quackity's hand accidentally knocked over his own glass. It was an almost full pint glass, he immediately apologised but kept his smile knowing it wasn't that big of a a deal. That is, of course, till he heard that noise.

The glass had rolled off of the table.
And smashed.

This made the noirettes heart freeze, the familiar sound sending him into fight, flight or freeze. Frozen stiff, he could only feel fear.
For a second he thought he was back in that house with the man who's name haunted him every day.

Luckily, the household was aware of his trauma, some unfortunately having to have witnessed it in the past. They didn't say anything, knowing that Karl and Sapnap had it under control.

Karl rubbed the boys knuckles and kissed his hand, calming him down. He was a little shaken up, but apart from that he was going to be alright. Luckily he had no injuries.

Sapnap went to go and get a dustpan and brush while Dream carefully left his chair and got on his knees (and prayed to our lord and saviour Jesus Christ and asked to be forgiven for his sinful ways) and started picking up the larger pieces of glass that were scattered in that area of the floor.

Bad left to go get a plastic bag to put it in and left George who constantly offered to help, but all he could do was try to help Karl and Quackity.
He wasn't quite sure what to do, Karl seemed to have it all under control and the brunette assumed that he would only make the shorter feel overwhelmed with too many people comforting him.
Maybe one was enough.
Besides, he probably only wanted his boyfriends' affection at this moment.

And so he kind of just sat there awkwardly, pointing at bits of glass they had missed when he noticed Dreams eyes on him.
The brunette was confused by the others worried gaze, he could see a mixture of emotions in his eyes and expression, fear? Sympathy? Sadness?
He had seen this expression before on others, he was just confused as to why it was now, at this time.

He raised a confused brow at this, did he miss something? What happened?
The oblivious boy didn't expect it to be about him at all.

The dirty-blonde stood and grabbed the confused males hand and dragged him out of the room, everyone was confused by this but continued cleaning up the glass.
The taller turned a corner and immediately pulled up the brunettes sleeve before he could even react, revealing his entire forearm.

Both males stared down in shock.

The water had hit George's arm, soaking into his white sleeve, causing the fabrics to become see-through and the prominent pink streaks from his healing wounds to be revealed.
And Dream noticed.

The brunette had been so worried that maybe Sapnap would tell Dream, that he didn't even consider that maybe something like this would be the thing that revealed it.

Usually, George would be scared, terrified. But this was Dream, he knew he wouldn't be mad at him... but the guilt?
The guilt was huge.
He felt so bad.
He didn't need to look up at his face to know what he felt.
And the fact he made him feel that way was heartbreaking.

"George..." Dream started, unsure what to say to him, there were so many things he wanted to say, he just couldn't find the ways to word it. It scared him. The amount of scars that littered his boyfriends arm was worrying, some faded to thin white streaks, clearly old, and some pink and thicker than the others. None were recent, thankfully. But it was clear that they were only a few months or so old.
It explained why he never wore short sleeves.

He couldn't stop asking himself, 'why didn't he come to me?' 'How long has this been going on?' 'How didn't I realise?'

'Maybe I could've helped him if I had noticed sooner...'

He felt guilty. Both of them did, both for different reasons, both from the same situation.

He swallowed, hesitating, he reached for the other arm, looking up at George for any kind of sign that he shouldn't. But the brunette didn't care anymore, he had already seen the other one. This one wasn't any better.
He lifted his arm of his own will, suggesting to the taller that it was okay.
He just wanted to get it over with.

He pulled the sleeve up and scanned his arm.
It was a bit worse than the other, there were definitely more on this one.
He frowned, 'why?' He questioned.

But he didn't need to ask that. He knew exactly what it was.
He knew his dysphoria gave him a lot of problems, but he never thought it was this bad.
He was really starting to understand just how much he underestimated the struggles of the boys gender dysphoria.

George felt like he was about to cry, the feeling in the back of his throat and heavy breaths was only making it more real. Dreams silence was agonising, the main source of the many thoughts that entered his mind.
Dream rolled the brunettes sleeves back down, and immediately hugs him.

The brunette wasn't expecting this reaction, but gladly accepted the hug. Wrapping his own arms around the tallers neck, his tears managed to escape him.

He couldn't tell if it was because of the relief, or the fear of the inevitable later confrontation that he dreaded.