Gone When I Need You Most - A Joe Sugg Fan Fiction

Chapter 33

*4 weeks later*
Mia's POV:

"I'm going for a shower." I say to Joe as I get out of bed and head to the en suit bathroom.
"K" Joe replies sleepily.
I told my mum about the baby when my family were over a few weeks ago and she said that it's fine and she was really reassuring. Today I am going for my second scan to find out if I still have a baby inside me.
I shower and wash my hair then I get out the shower and change into a pair of jeans and white vest top, I shove a grey jumper over the top and out my brown hair into a long french plait down my back. I do my makeup normally and as I'm adding my mascara I notice that Joe is watching me. I smile at him as I can see him in the back of the mirror on our dressing table. I finish my makeup and put on a cream infinity scarf.
"Come on lazy pants!" I groan to Joe as I pull on a black beanie.
"Okayyyy." He groans and crawls out of bed and drags himself off to the shower. I edit a video on my laptop whilst he showers. He emerges later and changes into black jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a zip up green hoodie. He gels his hair a little and sprays on some aftershave and then we head out to his car. We drive off through the grey April showers with the Brighton seagulls squawking above us. I look out to the rough sea and sea the waves lapping over the pebbles. Joes face is a moulded into a frown, his dark eyebrows are furrowed and he's clearly concentrating on the road, his expression a picture of worry. His skin is paler than usual, he must be just as nervous as me.
We park at the doctors surgery and get out of the car. We walk in, Joes hand is tightly entwined around mine and he looks shaky and unstable, maybe it's my turn to reassure him.
"You'll be fine, we'll be fine. Smile Joe. You look terrified." I look up at him and smile.
"Thanks." He chuckles lightly.
We sit in the waiting room and then a smiley woman appears and smiles at us. "Mia Sugg?" She asks.
"Errrm not exactly, my boyfriend's a Sugg.." I say gesturing my arm towards Joe, "I'm Mia Erndale." I smile.
"Right, well if you two would like to follow me to the room where your Doctor, Dr. Valley, is waiting." She smiled and lead us along to a small room.
We walked in, a kind looking woman was sat down in front of a desk. She got up and approached us.
"Hi Mia and Joseph. I'm Dr. Samantha Valley. I'll be doing your scan today. Mia if you would like to lie down on the bed please." She smiled.
I went and lay down on a small white bed whilst Joe took a seat on another chair in the opposite corner of the room.
She asked us some questions about ourselves and the baby. She checked her computer.
"Mia Erndale, daughter of Joshua and Caroline." She smiled.
"Yes that's me!" I smiled.
"So, it says here that you found out that you were pregnant about 2 weeks ago. You were diagnosed with anorexia at the age of 16, and you are in treatment for that now. You come here every two weeks for a check up on that with Dr. James. Am I correct?" She asks.
"Yes." I reply.
"And you have also been diagnosed with panic disorder at the age of 22, so only a few months or so ago?" She says.
"Yes, that's right. I'm also getting mind sessions at the local 'mind'." I say. Mind is a mental health service that helps people with mental health disorders like panic disorder. There are 'minds' all over the country.
"Okay, that's fine. We have that all down on your health profile. We will now proceed with your scan." She smiled.
I had a scan and she looked at me with a very serious expression.
"I'm sorry to announce that you've had a miscarriage. You've lost your only baby." She announced.
"Oh thank god!" I said getting up and hugging Joe.
"Oh? Didn't you want it?" She asks, her eyebrows furrowing.
"No, it was an accident." I explain.
"Yeah." Says Joe.
"That's why it's important to not let those accidents happen. Always, always protect.." The doctor goes on.
I smirk at Joe and he wiggles his eyebrows.
"We won't. I don't think I'll be coming for a baby scan for a while yet." I confirm looking at Joe.
His face falls and I nudge him hard in the ribs. We leave the doctors with a huge weight lifted off our shoulders, even the grey sky is clearing. We drive home and stop in at Zoe and Alfie's on the way back. I walk in a hug Zoe and Alfie then we all sit on the sofas with cups of tea and Zoe looks at us.
"How'd it go? Good or bad?" She asks.
"Good! We've had a miscarriage and there's no baby. Woop woop!" I cheer.
"That's great. Well for you! But you wouldn't believe this....I'm pregnant, and it's unwanted!" Zoe says placing her hand over her face.
"Oh god!" Joe gasps as I go over and hug Zoe.
"It'll be alright, you'll pull through. We're survivors, us four." I smile.
"Yeah, c'mon Zo!" Alfie says placing a hand around her waist as I go back and sit with Joe.
We chat about stuff, babies, YouTube, depression, panic attacks and some other deep stuff and then we finish our tea and Joe and I leave.
We drive back and I remember something I always loved to do in my teen years, photography, drawing and painting.
I took art for GCSE and got an A+ and I remember all my art supplies and projects from GCSE are in a huge box in the attic. I go up to the attic and rummage around for a while until I find a box and I bring it down and drop it on the floor.
"What's that?" Joe asks.
"Art supplies, old projects, photography, paintings, drawings and GCSE stuff." I say.
"You were the BEST at art and photography. You should start it again." Joe says.
"That's what I'm gonna do!" I reply.
I'm so happy I'm deciding to start art & photography again. They were always my escape, my way of expressing my feelings.