Sad (Ashton Irwin)

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There will be a part 2 AND if you guys struggle with self confidence/ depression then you can always talk to me 💕 ☺️ ily all.

It was one of those nights again. You're alone. It's cold and dark outside and you're crying again. Your cheeks are puffy and red from the tears, your body is stiff from sitting in the same position for too long.

Ashton has been gone for 3 months and he started by calling every night to check up on you. You have had serious depression in the past and he knew this when you became room mates. The scars on your body are physical proof. He'd ring, ask you how you were doing then he wouldn't hound you if you sounded down he'd just do his best to cheer you up. That's what you loved about him and you know you shouldn't but you can't help your serious and strong feelings towards him.

As you guys hung out, the depression slipped away and Ashton became your sunshine, you didn't need to feel sad anymore.

But now you do again. He's gone and he hasn't called in 5 days. You've texted him a few times but he always replies in one word answers. You're starting to think you've done something wrong.

You feel your phone vibrate as you sit, curled up in the tightest ball in the corner of your bedroom. You slide your hand into your pocket and dig it out, glancing at the screen.

Ashton Irwin wants to FaceTime.

You swipe your finger across the screen and accept Ashton's call. His face appears on the screen. He's grinning like an idiot and you automatically smile back.

"Hey Ash," you say as you blow your hair off your face.

"Hey Y/N, so I have some awesome news!"

"You're coming back soon?" You're suddenly hopeful.

"No, we've still got 3 weeks left of tour Y/N. But my news is that, I don't want you to be shy but this is Alice." A small blonde girl comes on view in the camera and gives a small wave.

"Hi? Umm.." You return the wave but trail off, a bit confused on what to say or do. Why is Ashton introducing this girl to you? Surely she can't be more than a friend to him? A cousin maybe?

"Alice and I are dating Y/N! Isn't it awesome! I finally found someone and she's gorgeous right?" Ashton's blabbing and you don't hear him as you focus on the pain in your heart. He made you feel like an idiot for loving him. The tears silently slip down your cheeks and suddenly Ashton stops talking.

"Ash, I think she's crying." Alice whispers and you hear Ashton panic.

"Y/N what's wrong? Talk to me. Don't shut me out. Alice can go if you wanna talk in private." He says and he runs a hand through his hair. "Is it getting bad again?"

You suddenly feel angry. Angry that Ashton could be so blind when you were completely in love with him. Angry that Alice was so nice. Angry that the boys hadn't told him how you felt and mostly angry at yourself for not being honest with him before he went on tour. You grab your phone and throw it as hard as you can across your bedroom. It bounces off the door and smashes into the hardwood floor. You hope it's broken and shattered. So that something physical can replicate your heart right now.

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