The new marauder

Chapter 13

"Are you staying here for Christmas or going home?"

"I think I'll go home."

"Okay, what do you want?"

"Nothing, you don't have to get me anything. You got me a phone for my birthday!!"

"You can't expect me to get you nothing!!"

"But I don't need anything off you!!"

"But I want to give you something?!"

"Nothing I say will change your mind will it?"

"No, now what do you want?"

"I don't know! Umm some of those muggle films I like, with the animals that aren't real?"

"Disney films?"

"Yeah those, what do you want?"

"Books."

"About what."

"Anything really."

"Okay."

Christmas is a couple of weeks away and I've put my name down for the going home list. Hogsmeade is this weekend and the weekend after the train takes everyone that goes home, home. Lily wants books, Remus wants books, Peter wants some chocolate or something, James wants things from zonkos but I still don't know what Sirius wants.

I'll have to find him later and ask him but right now I have to finish my defence against the dark arts essay, vampires and how to recognise them.

Easy.

It's dinner time when I finish. That took ages!! I'm starved, I want food now!!

I sit next to Sirius planing to ask him what he wants after I've ate my body weight in food of course. I finish my food and pick up my pumpkin juice. Gulping it down in one, I set down the cup and turn to Sirius.

"I haven't asked you yet, what do you want for Christmas?"

He says something I don't catch but the other three do and laugh.

Weird boys.

"Well?"

"Nothing you don't have to get me anything."

"I'm getting everyone else something."

"Well don't worry about getting me anything!!"

"Fine I'll just get you something as a surprise."

"Summer, really you don't have to!!"

"I know I don't have to, but I want to and do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I care about you and it would make me sad if you didn't get something off me!"

He sighs but has a little grin on his face.

"Surprise me then."

"Okay."

I smile and get up, happy now.

Tomorrow is Friday, then hogsmeade Saturday, Sunday I'll do some home work perhaps do some reading.

Everything is all planned out.

I go to sleep nice and early, as I found I feel more refreshed in the mornings when I sleep earlier.

Everything in life is going great.

And then I have defence against the dark arts.

It was all going fine, me and the guys laughing. Lily and I had been watching some movie trailer at break.

But he just had to go and mess it all up.

Professor Crims (?) asked for the homework and then gave detentions to those who hadn't done it, Slytherins mostly because I let James and Sirius copy mine.

And then he said those awful words.

"The next area we will look at is werewolves,"

As soon as he said that i stiffened as did Remus and the others who were beside me.

"And how they are terrible, terrible creatures who should be killed instantly."

I was fuming, gripping the edge of my table till my knuckles turned white, trying to keep my temper under control.
Come on Summer last time you lost your cool you got expelled for burning someone's hair off.
Deep breaths girl. Just take comfort in the fact that one day he will be dead.

Remus is white as a sheet.

The prat continues talking and I know I'm not going to make it threw this lesson with out blowing something up so I quickly make a choice.

Standing up and saying to him

"I'm suddenly not feeling well can I leave? Thanks."

And I get outa there without giving him a second to respond.

Werewolfs have always been a weak spot for me. My cousins all being werewolves and a lot of them coming to untimely deaths has wounded me, and now having a close friend who suffers from it. it breaks my heart. It's horrible.
I need to set something on fire so I head into the forest and soon start setting everything in sight, on fire.

I sit on a rock after feeling the satisfaction of everything dead.

Then I cry.

I cry and I question my life.

Why do I always think about killing people or feeling satisfied that they will be dead? Why do I have these abilities? Why, out of the how many billion people in the world was I picked to live like this?
I hate it! I hate myself! I'm not nice, I'm not good. I shouldn't be here. My brother and sister were killed because of what I am!! My whole family, whipped out because I can control the world!! ITS ALL MY FAULT!!!
I sense some one approaching and apperate away, I don't want to be found by some thing that could kill me, though who would miss me?

I have a banging headache so I skip dinner and head to the kitchens to find Kelly. I hate headaches.
I hate a lot of things lately.
I tickle the pair and step inside. Kelly knows that I've been crying, I don't know how as I made sure to triple check what I looked like when I left myrtles bathroom. I don't have a problem with myrtle, and she doesn't have a problem with me. I tend to get on with ghosts, maybe it's a sign I should be one.
Drinking the potion I head back up to the common room, planning on curling up in the armchair by the fire with a book.
I push my glasses up my nose for what feels like the millionth time when the doors open and everyone starts piling in. I sink even lower into the chair, not being bothered by it and carry on reading.
Until my book is yanked away from me.

"Hey! I was reading!!"

"Where did you go?"

"I went to the forest, now give me back my book Sirius!!"

"I've told you about going into the forest Summer, you could get killed!!"

"Maybe that's what I want to happen!!"

I don't expect him to hear my whisper but he does.
And I hate seeing the pained expression that forms on his face, so I look away.

"Follow me."

I watch as he walk up into his dorm and follow silently. Time to be told off I presume, or encouraged.

He sits on his bed and makes a me sized space beside him. I sit. Wrapping his arms tightly around me he hugs me for a long time until I decide to hug him back. I bury my face in his neck and breath in his smell. Broom polish. nice.
We stay like that for a long time and eventually we fall into a slumber, wrapped in each other's embrace.
And as I usually do with Sirius, I feel safe.