The new marauder

Chapter 90

At first, i was too shocked to react more than being angry. With myself, for not stopping it all from happening. It never really clicked in my mind that i was truly alone until the third night of November, two days after everything had happened and Sirius's birthday.

I had been to see Sirius and they wouldn't let me in. They said i was a threat and that i was helping him come up with a plan to get out.

So i'm not going to see him again, and my letters probably wont go through to him as he's so closely watched.

I'm never going to see him again and that hurts.

And on top of that, Lily, James and Charlie are gone forever and i'll definitely not see them ever again.

And Peter's a murderer and Remus has disappeared from my touch. I can't get through t him on anything at all and Dumbledore won't answer me when i ask him about it.

The person i've talked to most is Snape and that really needs to stop.

Kelly went back to hogwarts to work and Emily just asks for everyone else but me.

She's quiet and i think she realizes that things aren't happy any more.

That hurts too.

When she wakes up in the night asking for 'Dada' it hurts that there is nothing i can do for her.

It all hurts.

This house reminds me of all of them, every room still smells of them and i still find bits and pieces of their stuff.

Emily and i sit in silence all day, me not eating and me trying to get her to eat.

I've stopped getting the paper because it's covered in news of Sirius and the Potters and Voldemort.

I held their funereal by myself in Godrics Hollow and cried in front of their house which was missing a wall.

After that, the order stopped running as there wasn't anyone to fight any more and people went back to their lives. Molly and Arthur Weasley had recently had their first daughter, Ginny. Shortly after, Xenophilius's wife gave birth to my god daughter Luna.

I've seen them both and they're adorable. They're lively and it reminds me of how un lively Emily is.

I think i'm going to move back to America for a few years, before i'm emotionally ready to come back.

I'd like to be near The Wilson house hold, close to Charlie and his family.

Of course, Charlie won't be there.

I strap Emily into her car seat and check that we have all our belongings.

Kelly stands in the doorway, looking sad and Dilly has his head popping out the trees watching.

I walk over to Kelly and bend down beside her.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

"I'm sure. I'll keep the house running until you come back."

"I won't be back until Emily's at least ten though Kelly."

"I know that miss. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too Kelly. You've always been there for me."

"I'll still keep in touch with you miss. And i'll take good care of Dilly too."

"I know you will. I trust you."

"I'll miss you. I'll always wait for you."

"I'll come back for you one day Kelly."

"Goodbye Misstress."

"Goodbye Kelly."

I go to my car and put on my belt.

After giving my house one last look, i pull out of the driveway and start on our way to America.

It doesn't take long before we arrive.

I have it all sorted out. There's a small cottage with two bedrroms, a kitchen, a living room and a bathroom on the outside of Arizona. I brought it and although it's a lot smaller than my other house, it will do for me and Emily.

We'll move back when it's time for her to go to school, but i think this move will do us both some good.

I flick the lights on and drag all the stuff inside whilst Emily waits in the car.

The house is dusty and damp but that's only expected as it hasn't been lived in for ten years.

The garden is big and the house comes with a field.

It's quiet and it's the only house for miles.

The way i want it.

It will be a lot warmer here than England which i can cope with.

That night Emily and i watch a new movie that wasn't out in England yet and we had a nice time giggling along to it.

It's the first time in a few days that either of us has laughed and watched TV together.

She might only be one but she's very aware of what's going on around her so i knew that when i started being sad, she would too.

But sitting here watching movies and sitting surrounded by our furniture, i sense that this will be the beginning of a new life.

I will never move on from what happened, and i'll definitely never move on from Sirius, but i'll start being more optimistic for the sake of this new life and Emily's life too.

She doesn't deserve to be surrounded by sadness and death.

She needs a happy and supporting mother, and i'm going to be there for her.

If she wants to go to muggle school, fine. She wants her ears pierced and hair dyed, fine.

As long as she's happy with her life, then i'll be happy with mine.

And that's what i plan to be, Happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A/N~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To the people who like this book for some reason:

Hi, it me Mya the writer of this book. (yeah no kidding duh)

I don't normally do things like these because you don't want to hear me waffling on about nonsense but i would just like to say that this is the end of the book that is 'The New Marauder'.

But don't worry, i'm going to be writing two more books because i'd hate to leave it here on a massive cliffhanger.

I was tempted to but i figured that would be mean.

So all i'm saying is to expect book two very soon which will of course be about Harry, Hermione, Ron and Emily in hogwarts.

Thank you all for reading my book i am very grateful and i know sometimes it really sucks but you still read it and that means the world to me :D

K, that's all folks.

-Mya x

P.S It's my birthday omg ^_^