No Good For You

XLV

I finished trying everything on and went to the checkout line with Riot. He just stared at the floor with his hands in his pockets.

"673.25." said the cashier.
Riot took out his card and handed it to her before I could pull out mine.

My bags were handed to me and he walked off.
I followed behind him.

We got to the car and he opened the back seat so I could put in all of my bags.
"Why did you leave?" I asked him after I closed the door.
"What?"
"You heard me. Why did you leave? What happened in ten seconds that changed your mood for the rest of the day? You were okay in the car and before I got to the fitting room."
"Leila, leave it alone." he commanded and tried to walk around the car.

I grabbed onto his wrist and pulled him back to me. He sighed and turned back around.

"What?"
"Talk to me. We're not gettin' in that car until you tell me what your deal is."
He looked away from me.
"Riot."
"I ain't wanna look at you." he spoke up.
I was actually mildly offended.
"...You know you could've just told me it was bad?"
"That ain't what it was. You looked...good."
"Then why won't you-..."
"Look, can we just get in the fuckin' car?" he asked.
"No. What's wrong with you?"
Something made him angry and I wanted to know what.
He threw up his arms in annoyance then walked in a circle.

"I don't wanna talk about it. And you don't wanna talk about it either. Leave it alone." he instructed.
"I do wanna talk about it. That's why I'm asking you."
"No, you don't." he chuckled.
"Yes, I do. Don't act like you can just read my mind. You can't. What I'm telling you is the truth whether you believe it or not so just tell me what's wrong with you so we can fix it and you can feel better. I just wanna know why you randomly started acting strange agai-..."
"I LIKE YOU!" he yelled.

I just stood there. I hadn't expected him to ever say it, especially so soon.

"No, you don't." I scoffed.
He rubbed his forehead and tried to walk away again. I pulled him back.
"Stop fuckin' doin' that! You won't believe me so it don't matter. I'm done talkin' about it."
"I don't believe you because it's not true. You probably miss usin' me as a fuck dummy. I'm not in your possession to abuse anymore and-..."
He took my hand and pressed it to his chest.

"What?" I asked.
"Feel it."
"Feel wha-..." I felt it. His heart was beating really fast. It was actually concerning. I looked at my hand.
"Look at me." he demanded.
I looked back up at him.
"This shit happens every time you look at me with those pretty ass fucking eyes." He threw my hand off of him. "You don't think I'm tired? Do you think I want to like you? NO!"
Well now I was hurt.
"AND IT'S BECAUSE YOU PARADE AROUND ME BELONGING TO THAT FUCKING PRICK! You're always so fuckin' beautiful and I want to kiss and lick all over your skin all the time it fuckin' hurts me to hold back. AND I WOULD HAVE COMPLETELY DISRESPECTED THAT FUCKIN' RELATIONSHIP BUT I KNEW YOU'D HATE ME BECAUSE YOU LIKE HIM SO FUCKIN' MUCH!"

I just stared at him.

"Fuck..." he sighed. "I wasn't even supposed to tell you that."
I looked at the ground.
"Stop thinkin' I hate you. Please. It's the opposite. And I don't know what to do about it. There ain't shit I can do about it. I ain't wanna talk about it. Act like I never said anything." he instructed.
"I can't do that..." I mumbled.
"Why can't you?"

...

"Pretend it was a dream or some shit, I don't know." he insisted. "I'm not breakin' nothin' up. You and him do whatever it is you two wanna do and I'll just...I don't know. I'll ignore it."
"Riot..."
"Don't worry about it. Just get in the car."

He walked away again and this time I let him.

____________________________________

We made it back home without a word. We silently went our separate ways.

When I got to my room I didn't even bother putting away my recently bought clothes. I just spent twenty minutes thinking about what was said earlier.

I thought about how I wanted to handle it.
I think I found a solution but he wasn't going to like it.

I left my room and headed over to his.

When I got there I ran into someone waiting outside the door.
Megan.

I walked over and she looked at me.

"What the hell do you want?" she asked rudely.
I ignored her and knocked on the door.

"Megan, I said I was fuckin' coming, stop knocki-..." he opened the door and looked at me. Then at Megan.
"What is this?" he wondered.
"Can I talk to you?" I asked softly.
Megan pushed past me and tried to walk inside but Riot grabbed her arm and yanked her back out.
"Wha-..." she began.
He gestured his head for me to go inside then opened the door more.

"EXCUSE YOU?!" Megan yelled before Riot closed the door in her face.
She slapped it but it didn't make him open it back.

"What?" he asked.
"I just...I don't think...we..."
"Spit it out." he commanded.
It was harder with him standing right in front of me. He smelled so good and he'd changed clothes.
"I'm sorry. I'm wasting your time." I walked past him but my wrist was grabbed and I was yanked back.

I ran into his chest.

"Talk to me. You don't talk to me no more. I want you to." he stated as he looked down at me.
"Riot..."
"Yea..."
I looked up at him.
His eyes stared at my lips.
"Riot, do you wanna kiss me?"
"Yea..."
I brought my head back down and my forehead pressed against his chest.

His hand held my cheek and lifted my face back up to him.

"One last one and...I promise I'll leave you alone..." he offered.
"Riot..."
"I've never had this before. It makes it hard to let you go. Just one. I don't ask you for a lot."
I looked at his now.
I thought about Jack.

I gently pulled away.
"I can't..." I shook my head.
"Okay..." He nodded.

I left his room and Megan had gone away. I kept walking towards the elevator and for some reason my eyes were watering. I didn't understand why.

"Riot...!" I stopped and called.

He came out of his room. "Yea?"

I sniffed and turned around then walked quickly back to him.
I began jogging.

I reached him and my hands held his face and our lips crashed together. His arms wrapped around me, holding me close to him, and I felt his hands feel my waist as my tears fell for whatever reason. This was perhaps one of the greatest if not the best kisses I'd ever had.

I heard the elevator doors open and quickly let him go.

"SEE!" Megan shouted.

She and B were exiting.