No Good For You

LXI

I woke up this morning then got ready to head downstairs.

While I was in the elevator, it made a quick stop and Riot got on.
He gave me a few soft pecks as a good morning.
Sometimes sweet and short kisses are better than the long and messy ones.

"Good morning." he stated as the elevator started again.
"Good morning." I smiled.
He looked at my smile. "You're so pretty." he smiled back.
"I just woke up...all I've done is brush my teeth..." I argued.
"That supposed to make you less pretty?"

I smiled to myself again.
The elevator stopped and we got out.

We walked to the table and Psycho was already there and looking through his phone.
He looked up at us as Riot and I sat down.

"He know you're back?" Psycho asked.
"No..."
"Bit bold of you two to sit next to each other, ain't it?"
We looked at one another.

"Morning." B sighed as he rubbed his face and walked in.

"Morning..." the three of us responded together.
He looked up at me.
"Ain't you supposed to be...not here?" he asked.
"Well..."

His eyes looked at Riot.

"You fuckin' serious?" B questioned.
Riot shrugged. "I'm selfish."
"B, please don't do this..." I begged.
"Don't do what?" he asked harshly.

We just looked at each other.

"Can you please just...let us try?" I asked softly.
"LET YOU TRY???"
"I told you he was gonna do this shit." Riot sighed.
"DO WHAT SHIT?!"
"THIS! THIS YELLIN' SHIT 'CAUSE YOU'RE BOTHERED BY SHIT THAT DON'T AFFECT YOU!"
"DON'T AFFECT ME?! BITCH, WHEN YOU STRANGLE HER OR BREAK HER FUCKING HEART THAT AFFECTS ME!"
"WHY DO YOU KEEP FUCKIN' ACTIN' LIKE I'M GONNA GO OUT OF MY WAY TO MAKE HER MISERABLE?!"
"THE CRAZY PART ABOUT IT IS, YOU DON'T EVEN GOTTA GO OUT YOUR WAY TO DO IT! IT'S SUBCONSCIOUS! YOU'LL DO IT WITHOUT HAVIN' TO THINK TWICE ABOUT IT!"
"B, stop." I commanded.
"Why are you sabotagin' ya self?" he asked me.
"What?"
"Bein' with him like you don't want yourself to be happy. Where's Jack?"
"Riot makes me happy."
He pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Let me ask a question now." Riot stated.

He stood up and walked over to his brother.

They both stared each other in the eye with their spines straight.

"Why do you hate me?" Riot asked sincerely.
B scoffed.
"No, I'm serious. All of you. You. Zachariah. Hell, Psycho too. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU HAVE MADE IT YOUR LIFE'S MISSION TO HATE ME!"

I watched Psycho look at his plate.

"I wanna know why. Since I can remember I don't recall a single good moment with you people. You two went places I couldn't go. You don't even know me as well as you think you do but you keep tryin' to make decisions about my life based on your hatred of me." he stated.

B looked away from him with his hands on his hips.

"I'm beaten the most." Riot continued. "Hit. Shot. You and Blue hair over there ain't got a single stab or bullet wound on your body. I got six."

B looked at the floor as he licked over his teeth.

"FUCK YOU! LOOK AT ME!" Riot shouted.

B picked his head up.

"You don't get to feel bad as if you give a fuck. You look me in my eyes." said Riot. "You don't tell him shit. You stand up for Psycho. But you forget I'm your little brother too. It's okay if he breaks my leg and refuses to buy me crutches when I'm seven because 'I deserve it'. Ain't nothin' wrong with him shootin' me in my back and almost leavin' me paralyzed because I made the mistake of asking for the same plate of food you got."

I could tell that B struggled to hold eye contact while Riot did it with ease.

"But God forbid you hear him make a joke about Psycho's mental disorders. Then you give a fuck."
"Riot..." B began.
"Shut up. You don't care about me hurting her. That ain't your issue. You got this thing with seeing me unhappy. I don't deserve anything to you. I got somethin' that I'd kill and die for and you hate that because I'm not allowed to feel good. Because you never speak to me about changin'. You just tell me that what I want, I'm not allowed to have. Never how can I get to the level where it's okay for me to have it. Because that's not an option. I'm not allowed to feel nothin'. But pain."

I looked at Psycho. His tears were falling onto his plate as he stared at it.

"I'll ask you again. Why? Why do you hate me?"

B looked at the floor and shrugged.
He looked back up at his brother.

"Just do." he answered.
Riot nodded and accepted the answer then walked off.

I stood up and walked over to B.

He looked down at me.

"I want you to know...that now and until you officially apologize to him and mean it, I hate you from the bottom of my heart. And I will continue to be with him because your opinion means SHIT to me. Rot in hell." I walked off to find Riot.