My Ex-Boyfriend Is My Professor (Under Edited)

CHAPTER 37

TW: Suicide

"Are you sure about this, Tyrell hmm?"

Minsan, napapatanong ako kung anong kasunod nito? Pagkatapos ng pahinga, kung kaya ko na ba muli. Kung pagkatapos ko bang nawala ay may babalikan pa ako, sinong mga kaibigan ko ang nariyan pa.

Pero kapag tumatanda ka pala, mas importante na ang peace of mind kaysa sa ibang bagay, dahil sa ngayon, napakahirap na nito makuha. Even yung sanity, ayaw ko na ibargain for anything else.

"Salamat po, pero ayos na po ako. Sorry po kung nakaabala ako sa bakasyon n'yo." Kanina pagkatapus naming kumain ay pinasama nila ako mamasyal para mahismasan, pumayag naman ako hanggang sa dumating ang hapon at sinabi ko na gusto kong umuwi sa bahay namin.

Nong una hindi pumayag si Ate Gwen dahil baka daw balikan ako ng lalaki pero ang sinabi ko na lang ay nandun naman ang kuya ko at isa pa kailangan ko ring bumalik sa pagaaral dahil nahuhuli na ako sa mga topic, kalaunan lang rin naman ay pumayag sila at pinagdrive ako papunta sa lugar namin.

Ate Gwen asked what happen to me, she even not force me to tell her the truth just a little details but I ended up tell her the truth and even cry to her shoulder. Pinabili pa niya si Kuya Luthor ng pills para daw hindi ako mabuntis na agad ko rin naman inisip, kuya Luthor didn't even think twice and buy me a one bottle of pills.

Now we are near to my hometown Ate Gwen keeps on asking me if I'm really okay kasi pwede naman daw akong mag stay sa bahay nila. Kanina ko lang rin nalaman na mag-asawa pala sila at bago lang ikinasal, mas lalo akong naguilty na baka nakasagabal ako pero sinabi naman ni Ate Gwen na ayos lang at wag ko na lang daw isipan yun na ginawa ko naman.

"Sinabi ko diba na ayos lang? But, remember Tyrell if there is something happen to you, you can called me okay?" She smiled to gently. "Binigay ko na rin ang house number ng bahay namin sa'yo if ever na you can't contact me."

"Yes, Ate Gwen. Maraming salamat po talaga.." dahil kung hindi ko kayo nakita baka mabaliw na ako ng subra. I want to added that words but I can't even utter it so I remain silent and smiled at her.

Perhaps, all we need is someone who will never turn their back on us when the rest of the world did. And someone we can call our people when we thought no one understands.

Kumaway ako sa papalayong sasakyan nila ate Gwen bago tumalikod at nagsimula ng maglakad sa bayan namin. Nawawala na ang maliwanag sa paligid at unti-unti na itong nababalot ng dilim habang naglalakad ako papauwi.

Napatigil ako ng makita ko ang bahay namin, buhay na buhay dahil sa mga kapitbahay na nagsusugal, may mga bata pa na kahit gabi na ay hindi man lang umuwi sa kaniya-kaniya nilang bahay.

I keep on walking until a pass to them, enetring our open house before I stop when I saw coffin in front of me. I fought the ugre to cry.

Papa

When I die, I wonder who would be there at my funeral or if there will be people crying because of their lost.

I wonder if my Mom would have her sleepless nights due to people who will keep on visiting me even in midnight hours. I wonder if my father would be there to apologize for his late daughter because he left me and for being the first man who broke my heart.

I wonder if my tita and tito would visit me and mourn because they do not even had a chance to see me alive and breathing. I wonder if my classmates will remember all those times I told them about my plans when I die, foods, gown, and the set-up. I wonder if my best friends no longer have tears because they already felt numb of all the pain, thinking if they have done enough for me.