My Ex-Boyfriend Is My Professor (Under Edited)

CHAPTER 44

"It's that a threat?"

"No." He said with full of seriousness. "It's a warning, babe."

Nagkuyom ang kamao ko dahil sa sinabi niya, hindi parin ako makapaniwala at mas lalong nagalab ang galit sa aking sistema.

"I thought you changed for the better.." Malakas ko siyang tinulak dahilan upang mabitawan niya ako at mapaatras siya. ".. but you become worst."

I clenched my fist as I angrily looked at him. In the few years I haven't seen him, I have a longing for his presence, there is still a chance that I will hold my cellphone to call him but I immediately let go of it to realize that he will not show up when I say I am hurt. Maybe it's because I'm used to it, I'm used to him being there whenever I'm hurt.

"That time you left me without saying goodbye is the time that I also changed and forgot about you! I thought you pushed me away!-" Tumigil ako sandali bago umiling. "No! You pushed me, didn't you? Right! You push me! But why are you still bringing me back? Huh?! To hurt me again?!"

His jaw tightened. "You don't understand!-"

"Then make me understand!"

"How, Tyrell? Huh? Tell me. How can I make you understand my situation that time if you didn't listen?" Natahimik ako dahil sa sinabi niya. "Tell me, babe, so I can make you understand."

Bigla na lang tumulo ang luha ko na siyang paggaan ng kaniyang expresyon. "I was hurt- no, I'm still hurting, Draven. Paano kita pakikinggan at uunawain kung nasasaktan parin ako hanggang ngayon?"

I have a reason why I don’t want to listen to him, reasons that I know in the end he will still win.

Because by the time I listen to him I might go back to the way I was, I'm afraid that I might feel twice as much pain when I listen to him, when I believe him. I was afraid that by the time I listened to his explanation I would have returned to his arms, that I might suddenly feel the pain I felt when he left me without warning.

I have many reasons, that with so many I know that in the end I might be the one to lose and get hurt so much again.

"I didn't told you that I was leaving you that day because it was a sudden. I didn't pushed you away."

Umiling ako. "Liar. The moment you leave that is the time that you already pushed me away to your life."

"Then I pushed you."

"Why?"

Huminga siya ng malalim bago binulsa ang dalawang kamay. "I pushed you away because I'm a poison to you. I pushed you because I can see that you are failing because of me."

Biglang nagsunod-sunod na tumulo ang luha ko na siyang ikinataranta niya.

"Tyrell-"

"I want to be a favorite, not an option anymore.." Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko at dahan-dahan na umaatras papalayo sa kaniya. ".. because all my life I'm only a second choice."

Tumalikod na ako sa kaniya at nagsimulang lumakad papalayo. Lahat tayo ay bulaklak. Iba-iba nga lang ng kulay, ng hugis, at anyo.

Many butterflies will love you because of your petal, there will be a few bees that will be counted on your thorns, and there will be more insects that will hate you for no reason.

Masasaktan ka. Magnanais kang baguhin ang sarili mo, ang kulay, ang porma, at ang buong katauhan mo. Ngunit, hindi ako tumubo para sa mga mata ng iilan. Hindi aka sumibol dahil sa mga paghanga ng iba.

Kaya kung ayaw nila sa akin o di kaya ay pinipili lamang nila ako pagwala ang taong dapat nilang piliin, mas gugustohin ko na lamang manatili kung sino at ano ako. Dahil hindi ako nabubuhay para sa kanila, nabubuhay ako para sa sarili ko.