Letters to Anonymous | ✔️

Dear Someone

March 22nd, 2016

Dear Very Relieved Someone,

This is gonna be long and probably not as "professional" as I sound in the other letters.

There's so much that happened this past week and there wasn't any motivation to write or to do anything for that matter.

...I had a sister who was a year younger than me. Last year, she was caught in the middle of a street fight. The people who were fighting were this guy and me. ME. I was fighting the guy and she came in between us and tried to stop us. The other guy ended up taking out a knife and he started whipping it around, cutting my leg a bit and Emily's arm. We were walking home from watching a movie and they started prodding at her and I stepped in, causing this all to happen. But then we heard sirens and everyone disappeared. A couple weeks passed, both our wounds had healed. But then that guy was just a very sadistic minded and cold hearted man that he didn't leave her alone. He started following her around when she was alone, when she was with friends or with me, just to irk her. Then, things started getting worse. He started leaving signs around the house and threatened her that he would kill her if she told anyone. Some threats can be empty, but his weren't. He would leave teddy bears, shredded and stuffing all messed up. Sometimes she came home and her bed sheets were all ripped and torn apart.

This continued to happen and she didn't tell anyone. Not even me. Then I guess she had had enough and one day, ended up writing a goodbye note to me, telling me exactly all this. And, goodbye indeed. She ended up cutting herself and bleeding to death.

My sister killed herself.

Emily, my younger baby sister killed herself and I didn't even know that anything was happening to her. I could've helped her. I was her older brother... it's my job to protect her. But I couldn't. I ended up letting all this happen right under my nose.

Life after that was and still is, so hard for me. I tried to find the guy and tell the police, but apparently the guy's friend is a police officer. Every time I tried to call him out, his friend found a way to prove his innocence. And managed to keep everything out of the media. I like that part, I don't think being under the eye of people would have helped but in all other aspects, it sucks.

I started to train myself and take everything out on those sessions, but nothing was helping. I gave up everything I loved to do because it just didn't feel like it was right to do anymore.

The deal with my parents, they've never tried to stop me from thinking that it was my fault. And I know it's dumb, but I feel like they blame me too. I hardly ever talked to them until that recent time I told you. But since that letter, I haven't done anything. I'm sorry but I haven't done anything good in these last few days.

But it has been a full year since Emily killed herself. I visit her almost every single day and I told you that I cry every time asking her for her forgiveness but those times I didn't, I actually talked to her. But it's been horrible these days. I can't do anything and I read all your letters but like I said, there was no motivation. It took me six days to realize that maybe telling you would help.

Today, I did nothing that made me happy.

Sincerely,
Anonymous