Letters to Anonymous | ✔️

be happy

  "Okay I appreciate everyone's concern, but you do not need to stand in front of me like a wall. I've been dealing with far worse than what can happen with you guys here in front of us. Thank you very much." Claire said, and moved herself out from behind her mother.

  "Well lookie here, little princess is all grown up, not so afraid anymore. I do have to ask, what made this sudden courage appear today? You're always afraid of me." Jerry taunted and Claire felt something snap inside her.

  "Why do I have to be afraid of you, huh? Why?! I can do everything that you do! So why should I be afraid of you? I can drink alcohol too, see?" Claire grabbed a nearly empty bottle and drank til the last sip. "See? I can throw bottles too!" She said and flung the bottle near the bottom of the wall behind her father. "I can scream and f***ing swear too! I can go have sex with every guy at school and not give a crap, it's not like I have my virginity to lose! I can do all these things!" She yelled and then continued with a lower voice. "But what I can't do...is hurt you. You wanna know why?" She asked and stepped towards Jerry. Jerry's emotions were visibly fluctuating, unsure of how to feel something other than anger. "Because of the love that we had for one another once upon a time. Because you were a loving father. Because you are my father. You're nothing like a dad to me now, but because you were a dad to me many years ago, I can't hit you. I can't hurt you like you hurt me." She stated and worked to rebuild the resolve that began deteriorating again. "And that made me afraid of you, but I can't be afraid anymore. It's not fair to me. I shouldn't have to suffer in this house with you just because I'm afraid."

Memories of happier times passed through her mind. Times that she would play with her dad in the park, when he would let her tackle him in football, him pretending to be eaten by the monster shadow she'd make against the wall.

She saw some kind of emotion in her father as she spoke and this made her continue.

"Dad, if there's even a small, tiny, atom sized amount of goodness in you; if there's any love you have for your daughter in your heart, any at all, please go. Remember when I was younger and we'd belt out Whitney Houston together, you said you wanted to see me become the biggest singer in the world, you said you wanted to see me the happiest I've ever been. If you can look for that feeling in your memories, find it and please, let me do that. Let me be happy. Just go, and let me be happy. Please, just let me be happy."

Claire had her eyes closed and let her tears fall freely as she repeated the last four words over and over again.

Jerry looked at his daughter and fell speechless. He didn't know how to feel or what to say.

Several moments of silence had passed and Jerry finally took a step backwards.