Look After You - A Louis Tomlinson Love Story

Chapter 31: Be Still

(LOUIS' POV)

"No you don't." I said seriously, not wanting to accept the truth. But, it wasn't the truth, was it? Ashley couldn't possibly have something like cancer. She couldn't.

"Yes I do, Lou. They double-checked. It's called Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. It's curable, but it will take some time."

"Well maybe they're wrong. Hospitals are wrong all the time." I loosened my grip and sat up, looking down at her.

Her hair was shorter, but still the same shade of golden blonde. Her eyes were as blue as ever. She was so beautiful, how could she possibly be so sick? She couldn't be.

"They aren't wrong," she said sternly, a scowl forming across her face.

"How do you know? Huh? How can you be so sure? What if this is just the flu or something like that? You're fine! You're totally fine! Nothing is ever going to happen to you! You're perfectly fine!" I yelled, probably loud enough to wake the patients next door.

"Well what if I believe you and go home? And what if then you find me one afternoon: dead, lying on the bathroom floor, would you really want to take that chance Lou? Would you?" she yelled back at me. Her heart monitor began to speed up and I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I couldn't do this anymore. I was scared. I was heart broken. Ashley: dead? No, that wasn't something I could comprehend.

So, I did the one thing I could think of doing:

I left.

I heard her faint cries behind me, but I didn't turn around. I kept walking. The tears fell down my cheeks and my walk transformed into a run. I ran all the way to a large park, probably about a mile from the hospital. No one was there: just some trees, a play area, and me. I sat down on a bench near the play area and thought about everything that had just happened, still crying.

Ashley loves me.

Ashley has cancer.

I left Ashley.

She's alone and sick, and I left her.

What have I done?

I sat there, in shock, for as long as I could before I went into hysterics. I laid my back on the bench and screamed so loud I bet Niall, Liam, and Zayn could hear it in London. I was an idiot. And I had probably just lost her. I left her when she needed me most, could I be more of a dumbass?

Why didn't I just go back? I couldn't. I was scared. Scared that when I saw her, I would go into hysterics again. She couldn't see me like this. I wouldn't let it happen. I had to stay strong, or else she wouldn't.

Once I managed to calm myself down I realized that I was alone at four in the morning without a place to stay. I called Harry and after a few tries, he finally picked up and said he'd meet me at the park in an hour and a half. In exactly that, Harry pulled up in Bo's black SUV and waved to me. He came out of the car slowly and sat down next to me on the bench. I didn't look at him. I couldn't let anyone see me like this. I would look weak. People already thought I was gay. Did they need to think I was a little weak kid too? I felt his hand touch my back as he rubbed it up and down, trying to comfort me. I sniffled and looked up at him. His eyes were red and his face was stained in tears. He knew what I was feeling and therefore, I was comfortable enough to cry in front of him. I let the last set of tears out and Harry patted my back, trying not to cry himself. I knew he must feel bad too, I mean, it is his sister. I was just her boyfriend. I had known her for eight months, but Harry? He had known her all his life. The poor boy must be on the verge of having a mental breakdown. But the thing was: Harry was calm, much calmer than me. I could tell just by the way he was acting. He stayed strong around me, which was exactly what I tried to do with Ashley, but failed miserably.