Out of Place [Cobra Kai OC x Robby Keene]

26- What Happened in the Past

I collapse on my cot, groaning. I'm so tired. Before I know it, I'm being crushed by Robby's weight. Honestly, it feels really nice, especially on my garbage back.

"You told me you would explain why you're being so distant," he says. My heart pounds. Now I don't want to explain, but I know I promised. I use my arms to push both of us up, then shift so he falls.

"That's for the tree," I say as I sit up.

"Fair enough," he replies as he sits across from me, "so... what's going on? Did either of us do something?"

"No no, it's okay. It's all me, don't worry. I just... I know things... and that combined with everything that's happened.. I'm not used to people," I try to explain, trying to swallow down tears. Concern ripples all across his face. If I start crying I swear-

"I've never been good with people. It's like my brain short circuits. It's hard for me to make friends in the first place, but when I care about someone, it's real. After my mom died, things were really hard... but I had someone. She died three years ago, about a month after I turned thirteen. I went into eighth grade the same way I had gone into every year- alone. By some miracle, I was able to make one friend. He was a quiet kid, but so was I, so it was okay. We were friends all through eighth grade and we hung out over the summer some too. He was the only friend I had going into ninth grade. But then my brothers died... and everything changed... it felt like I lost everyone I cared about... a part of me felt like I was... like I was a curse... so I pushed him away... I feel awful every time I think about it... but I don't know how to describe what happened... it's like one half of my brain was 'life can't cut you down if you let go first', but the other never wanted to leave. What happened happened, and I can't change it. So I stay quiet. I listen. I watch... you were the first friend I've had that I didn't feel I had to push away... I don't want to mess it up. You... you and Sam and Mr LaRusso are my balance. You keep me from falling over into a place that I don't want to go back to. I'm glad I have you," I say, silent tears rolling down my face. They cloud my vision and voice. I know my face is probably red and splotchy by now. I wish it wouldn't do that. I wish I could be a pretty crier, but I'm just not.

"We all coped in our own ways... you helped me too... it was nice to have someone who wasn't constantly trying to rope me back into crime," Robby says. I can't help but laugh a little as I wipe away tears.

"That's a really low bar,"

"That's not the only thing," he says, laughing a little, "you're a good person... you've helped me to be a better person. You have my complete trust. No matter what happens, we're in this together weather we like it or not."

"And I'll have your back no matter what," I say with a small smile. He smiles back with that smile of his that's off to the side and would perhaps look snarky on anyone else, but on him it's rather endearing.

"I'm probably gonna try to get some sleep now. I'm exhausted," I say. Balancing out karate and tae kwon do has gotten easy enough, but then you throw in piano and my job at the dealership and spending quality time with my friends into the mix on top of- you know- the basic things you need to do to survive, and suddenly it's a lot harder.

"Yeah," he says, stretching as he stands up, "Mr LaRusso worked us today."

"I think Demetri has him in a mood,"

"They'll get there eventually... I think,"

I can't help but laugh a little. On an impulse, I stand up, pulling Robby into an embrace. Luckily, he returns it.

"Thank you," I say, my voice barely whispered, barely even there. You might mistake it for a peculiar breeze or perhaps a figment of your imagination if you weren't right here, in this moment. I step out of the hug, falling on my cot once more as he gets the lights. Darkness floods the guest house. I stare open-eyed at the wall. Despite my exhaustion, sleep won't let me cross over into its realm.

I can't stop thinking about what I did to my former friend. It makes me feel so awful... I know I should have never done it, but I at least know he had another friend. His expressions have always been so easy to read, which makes it so incredibly strange now that things are so different. I watched him gain his confidence. I was actually really happy for him, although I know karate is not what makes you cool, because I do it and I'm still a loser, but that might be just me. Now... I don't know... I know I'm less happy about it. Confidence is good, I wish I had some, but there's a difference between being confident and being an asshole, and he's definitely crossed into asshole territory. God, he's been awful to me since the tournament.

It's just worse because I remember when things were so different. He was shy, and we didn't talk a whole lot at school, but we would talk on the phone for hours at home. We've talked each other out of panic attacks and crying fits. We've played board games and card games for hours. We've binge watched whole seasons of tv shows within days, if not a singular day. There's one blemish on my otherwise perfect record and it was standing up for him against Kyler- who I can't believe Sam dated. Should I have side kicked him in the face? No, probably not. Did it get him to leave me alone? Yes, it did. He still bullies him though, which is annoying. I did get off with only one day of one of the lowest forms of punishment because I was standing up to a bully and I had worked in the office the year before and they knew I was a right joy. It makes me sad to think how much has changed and how much of it could be my fault... I miss Eli. I can't deny that to myself, and I know that... but there's one thing I also know...

I hate Hawk.

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A/N: a sad truth revealed... Anyways, thank you to those who are actually reading this far. You all mean a lot to me because I honestly didn't expect anyone to really be reading this. Stay safe and take care of yourselves :)