44- The (Kind of) Calm Before the Storm

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TW: Panic attack and talk of house seizure (idk, it might be a sensitive subject for some)



I just... couldn't go back to the LaRusso's. I don't know why I would ever think that here is a better place, but it's where I came. I went in through the window, as per usual- or what was the usual- then proceeded to search every room, kubotan at the ready. The weird thing is... I never found my dad. He's not here... he must be passed out at a hotel or whatever. Either way, I don't think I've ever slept lighter.

When I woke up, I closed every door, locking all the outside ones, and I have my security system armed to alarm, so nobody can get in without me knowing. The house is a mess... beer bottles and cans everywhere, trash everywhere, a sink full of dishes... I decide to get to work to pass the time. I start by taking all the beer bottles and cans to the recycling bin. I hold my breath as I do so, because the smell is so strong. It's so gross, how do people enjoy this? I just don't understand.

It's so weird being back here... I don't like it. I don't feel safe. I feel like I'm trespassing, even though this is my own house. I feel like something is gonna jump out at me.

My phone buzzes in my pocket as I walk back in from the garage, which makes me jump, as any sudden sound would. My heart pangs. It's Mr LaRusso... I decline the call, hastily shoving it back in my pocket. I don't really want to talk right now... I don't really know what I'm avoiding. Maybe it's Sam... maybe it's the therapy question... maybe it's because they would start asking questions that I don't want to have to answer... I don't know... I just... couldn't go back. I feel bad for declining the call...

I shake my head a little, then walk over to the sink to do the dishes. There are so many... I swear, has he even done dishes since I left? I hate doing dishes, but if there's one thing I need, it's a distraction. I put on some music that's loud enough for me to hear it over the water, but still quiet enough for me to be aware of any doors opening or windows being shattered or the security alarm going off. I put my phone on silent, then tune out everything except what's going on right here, in this awful, awful house.

—-


So that was disgusting. I guess doing dishes always is. It took forever too. I was able to get through a good portion of my playlist. I wash and dry my hands, then glance at my phone.


Mr LaRusso

Missed call


Pretty Boy

Missed call x3


Sam✨🤩

Missed call


Demetri

Missed call


Mrs LaRusso

Missed call


Seven missed calls... plus the one from Mr LaRusso that I declined earlier. My body gets hot and my heart pangs at the fact that I'm ignoring the people that genuinely care about me, but I just... don't feel like talking to them. Talking to Sam about what happened might trigger a panic attack which is something I don't want, I'm kind of upset with Demetri for what he did at the party last night, I'm afraid that Mr and Mrs LaRusso will be mad at me for not coming back to the house, and Robby... I don't know, but he's called me three times... I delete the notifications and put my phone in my pocket as I move to clean the counter.

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