The Other Agent Hill

51

Clint POV

Sitting in the main hall, I listen to Maria as she makes some calls letting people know Coulson has passed, the words "I'm sorry" sounding unfamiliar with how repetitive she has used them over the span of 20 minutes. 

'So I am just letting you know I didn't do it out of the darkness of my heart'  If only I knew what she was alluding to, I could have stopped her- him- whatever happened. Looking up Maria sighs hanging up another phone call and turns to Fury who enters the room.

"What is going to happen to Y/n?" Nat asks, taking the words out of my mouth. Fury sighs looking away from us. "The Council want her suspended until further information can be gathered" he says, looking at me.

Standing I scoff, "What information.. it doesn't change that Coulson is dead" I say, Nat looks at me sadly, whilst Maria looks away. "I have agents trying to get hold of footage from the room during the incident, but it will take time as CTV hasn't been fully repaired since Loki" Fury says

"So she is suspended, what does that mean for us?" Nat asks. "She has to hand over her badge, weapon. She is unable to be on site, go on missions or even discuss SHIELD with anyone" he says. Nat looks to me but I avoid her gaze.

"Who's going to tell her?" Maria asks looking at Nat and I. An agent joins the room holding a bag in his hand.

"Sir, sorry to interrupt but Agent Hill has left her badge and gun. We cannot locate her" he says. I look to Fury and see his lip quirk into a slight smile before he notices my stare and frowns.

"Let her go, she knows. When we find out more we can contact her. For now Agent Hill is suspended" He says turning around and walking away. Nat turns to me, I walk away before she starts talking.

"Clint!" She walks after me, "What happened?" She continues after I turn around to face her.

"I don't know Nat, I picked her up and she was frustrated and then 30 minutes later Coulson is dead, and her hands where covered in his blood" I say, she stares at me. "Did she say anything about how it went with William?" Nat asks. I shrug shaking my head "Point is Coulson is dead"

"Clint, you and I both now she would never want to hurt him" Eyebrows scrunched I lick my bottom lip before turning back around hastily, glaring at her. "I could have stopped her Nat, I knew she was not in the right mindset and I just sent her on her way" I whisper not wanting anyone to hear. Nat places a hand on my shoulder, "Its not your fault, but we have to check in with her" I smile softly pulling her arm away.

"Give her time... she is also grieving" I say before turning away heading to the training room.

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Y/n POV

That feeling, when you are submerged under water, with waves crashing above you and you are floating underneath, with all sounds distorted and with vision tinted by the water. Feeling every vibration as it sends ripples through the water.

And when you are under for too long, the need for oxygen creeps in, first it starts by the nagging urge to break through the water, when you ignore it the reflex of trying to take a breath when you know it will only end with you having a mouth full of water...

The drumming inside your head then alerts you, to the needing for air, as you claw at your throat for air. Raising you hands to the surface attempting to grasp onto anything that could save you until stillness takes over for a millisecond.

The stillness seeming to last for an hour as I flick switches and fly the QuinJet, away from the Hele-carrier. The hum of the engine drowned out trapping me in the silence of my own thoughts..

Landing I turn the engine off and exit the jet, pulling my bag with me I rattle my keys, unlocking my front door the sound of the lock un clicking zoned out as I dump my bag and instantly change out of my SHIELD uniform and into a pair of jeans and a sweater. (Not my most preferred option but with my little consideration) I leave the apartment almost as fast as I entered.

Stepping out onto the busy streets of New York, I walk aimlessly, allowing my feet to direct me to the nearest coffee shop. 

When suddenly I am brought to the surface, forced to gasp for air, senses flooding.. overwhelming me.

"Watch where you're walking" A man grumbles, the interaction making me stop and look around. Dazed, I blink a couple of time as if taking in my surroundings for the first time. Ducking my head I continue to walk to the coffee shop. The bell ringing as I push the door open and head inside.

"What can I get for you?" A lady asks, as I approach the counter, pulling out my wallet from my purse I pass over a generous amount "A Latte please" forcing a smile, she grins in return nodding a gesturing over to an empty table by the window.

Taking out my phone I hover over Nat's contact before sighing and clicking out of the contact and calling someone else.

"Y/n Hill? Is that you?" I smile at his voice, looking out the window I press the phone against my ear and lean back in my chair.

"Hey Agent, how are you going?" I ask, hearing his cheering and giggles, I smile exhaling for what felt like the first time.

"Gooood, how are you? Saved the world recently" Harley asks, I go to respond, when the waitress serves me my coffee.

"Um, not recently, but hey how was your birthday. Are you ten yet?" I ask amused

"Yes,  I turned ten couple weeks ago, also when are you coming to visit?" He asks voice sad. I take a sip of my coffee thinking

"Soon, kid. Sorry I haven't I have been held up with work", he laughs

"I know, Tony told me" he says, I turn to look at the phone, although he can't see me.

"Tony?" "Yeah when he visited after Christmas, he said you were busy with Thor! What is he like, is he an actual God?" He asks excited. I smile genuine, at the thought Tony listened and payed Harley a visited

"Thor is so cool, you'd love him and yes he is an actual God" I say, he jumps around? excited.

"Hey Y/n, I have to go mom is calling me. But I will talk to you soon yeah?" He ask hope lacing his words, I hum "Sounds good, talk to you soon Harley" I say before hanging up and placing both of my hands around the warm cup.

Zoning out I stare out the window, until someone sits opposite me. I don't look at them instead tell them the seat is unavailable.

"Look at you, heard you got suspended" A man says I snap my head to him and glare at him. "Excuse me?"

"Grant Ward, nice to meet you Agent Hill" The man holding his hand out to me, I smile hesitantly looking down at his hand then back at his face, offering my own I shake his hand.

"SHIELD send you?" I ask, he hums

"Something like that, but STRIKE team, need a fill in for our next mission. Are you in?" he asks. I tilt my head

"I am suspended, I can't help you" I say bitterly he smiles. "Well we could disguise you if you would like" He jokes, I roll my eyes, and crossing my arms over my chest. " I am not desperate for work" he nods "No, but you are one of the best" he says, to which I raise my brow unimpressed "Trying to butter me up Ward" He shrugs

"Is it working?" He asks, a boyish smile dancing on his face, I finish my coffee and stand walking next to him I pat his back. "I will think about it" I say before leaving the store.