you belong with me (Benedict Bridgerton)

Chpt 3: Endings and Beginnings

It has been three days since i have made my decision to join the social season. It has also been three days since Beth has spoken to me. Lady Danbury is coming today to "train" me for the social season that starts in a month. I have no idea how she is going to turn me into a "proper lady" in time, or how she's going to keep it a secret that i'm actually just a farm girl. But the woman is smart, the smartest woman i have ever met.

I decided to see Mama before i left. I don't usually like to go into her room unless i am to give her food. But other times i just like to speak to her. Even though i might as well be talking to a wall. Beth often brings books to her room when she is finished reading them, hoping one day she will read and enjoy them too.

The stack keeps piling up so it is obvious she hasn't touched them. "Dearest?" i heard some speak. I turned to see Emma leaning against the door with a soft smile. "Hello" i said weakly. "Are you all packed?" she asked. "All my essentials are anyway, but if i could i'd pack you and Beth with me too" i jested.

She chuckled lightly. "You know i would take your place in a heart beat, right? If it weren't for the ton knowing i am Lady Danbury's maid" she said. I knew this was true. Emma always cared for us and i know she would swap places with me without a second thought. I nodded.

Lady Danbury's carriage was soon arriving so i knew i had to try and say goodbye to Beth. I knocked on the door waiting for her to say i could come in. "Who is it? she called out. "Your favourite sister" i replied. There was a moment of silence, so i let myself in. "I'm leaving soon so i thought i would say goodbye."

She wouldn't even look at me. "Beth, you understand why i have to do this.  It's the only way all of us can happy" i said. "But you won't be happy. Marry an elderly man for his money. To drag him into this ruse" she snapped back. I winced at her words.

"I could meet a man i love in London. Someone who does not care about my place in high society. Someone in no need of a dowery. And certainly not anyone that old" i said rolling my eyes.

I did not believe a word that came from my mouth. I knew i would be unhappy, but at least i would have the chance to paint. I could even paint with real painters. I'd see the finest art England has to give. And i held onto that thought.

It relieved me to hear Beths laughter. I was so happy to see her smile. Without a word, she embraced me. But that was short lived as she squeezed me tightly and a sob came from her. "I do not want you to leave."

I brushed her hair from her face, smiling softly. "What if we ran away, like they do in the story you told me as children?" she asked taking my hands in hers. "That was only a story, this is reality. But i would if i could" i said. She looked hopeless trying to find a reason for me to stay. "How about you come with me to say goodbye to all the animals?" i proposed. Beth gave up her fight and nodded.

We promenaded around to the cows, the chickens, our two horses and of course Beth made me say my goodbyes to her cat Rosie. I never liked the beast. She usually attacks everyone, except for Beth so she refuses to get rid of her. Whilst Beth was talking away, i spotted Emma through the window with a longing look. Then i heard horses. It was Lady Danbury's carriage.

I was dressed in my finest gown, which i must saw was not that grand, and grabbed my belongings. Beth could not fight her tears whilst Emma stood tall, almost proud. This was the first time we would truly be apart. I embraced them both and left in a haste. I did not want them to see my tears nor did i want to see theirs.

I knew Lady Danbury was a caring woman but she also was very intimidating. I fought my tears until she handed me a tissue, gesturing that it was okay to cry in her presence. So i did.

When we got to her manor it seemed different, even though it looked the same, i remembered it bigger. I was about to grab my bags when a man grabbed it before me. "It's fine Miss, i shall bring it in for you" he said. I hesitated until Lady Danbury gave me a smile.

Though the manor felt different, everything else was just as i remembered. Fresh flowers covered the garden and i was once again greeted by the smell of lavender. Lady Danbury then guided me to my chambers. Inside there was a bed fit for a queen, with white sheets and velvet curtains.

There was also a large fur carpet, a dark oak desk and floor, tulips on the window sill and the sunlight beamed through the high windows. It was most certainly the biggest room i had every seen. I stood there in complete awe. "Is this my room?" i questioned, "Yes my dear, this is the guest bedroom" she replied. "Wow" is all i could get out. She chuckled. "I'll let you get settled in then."

I leaped onto the bed and laid there for a moment. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.