you belong with me (Benedict Bridgerton)

Chpt 4: The Duke And Desperation

I have been living with Lady Danbury for over a month now. My schedule is very different to how it used to be to say the least. Lady Danbury's servants wake me before the sun rises to have breakfast with the lady and begin my day. They wake me up very differently to how Emma used to wake me by screaming the house down.

Then i practice my "ladylike" skills, for example remembering not to slouch, how to talk politely, how to dance and what is and was is not acceptable in society. And after, i finally get to paint. Fortunately, Lady Danbury says this is a talent men look for in a wife. She also said i am one of the greatest female artists she knows, which is a huge compliment coming from her.

I then practice my readings, have dinner and go to bed. It was difficult to remember which utensil to use for which meal but i believe i have gotten quite better at it. I have also been gifted a few new dresses from the modiste thanks to Lady Danbury who said my dresses were "pretty but distasteful"

It isn't all bad. Lady Danbury is actually a very good teacher. We also have my backstory practiced if i am asked where i am from. For now, i am a distant, wealthy cousin from out of London who's Mother is ill so i am living with her. It doesn't feel good that i have to lie to everyone, i am quite proud of where i came from but i have learned that i would be judged and looked down upon if people were to know my actual situation.

I miss Beth and Emma quite dearly. Lady Danbury has let Emma off on temporary leave so there would be no possible way for people to find out we are related. I have heard some of the maids gossiping about her absence, i feel terrible that Emma is affected by this but hopefully she'll never have to come back here if everything works out. All her staff who knew me as a child are either retired or don't remember me which is good.

"Juliet, we have a guest" Lady Danbury called out from downstairs. I strolled down the stairs in my new dress. It was light shade of blue with navy blue lace. When i arrived downstairs, i saw The duke of Hastings speaking to Lady Danbury. "Simon!" i called out in a child like excitement. I ran and jumped into his arms for an embrace. I didn't think to realise how improper it was but surprisingly, he hugged me back.

"Juliet you've...blossomed" he said. I thought it was an unusual compliment but he could've said something much worse. Lady Danbury gave him a stern look. "Juliet, the Duke is aware of our situation and i believe we have no reason to worry that this rake will tell a soul" she said.

I chuckled softly whilst Simon rolled his eyes at her comment. "What? It is true you do not wish to marry, no?" she questioned with a cunning smile. "You are right as always Lady Danbury, but i was not expecting the sudden attack right as i walked in the door."

"Now onto further matters, you must excuse the disorderlies, as you know i am to host a ball this evening" she said. "I have managed to keep the details of your of your return quiet but when those vulgur mamas discover there is an eligible duke present at tonight's event, i shall not be able to keep such a secret no longer."

"That is what i was hoping to discuss. I've only returned to London to deal with my late fathers affairs. I'm afraid that leaves me no time to socialise" Hastings said. "Oh your father passed? I am so sorry Simon" i said apologetically. "Sorry? He hated the man!" Lady Danbury exclaimed. Simon smiled. I also smiled uncomfortably not knowing how to react.

"As i was saying Lady Danbury, while i appreciate your most gracious invitation, i must ask you to to accept my regrets" he repeated. There was a moment of silence whilst Lady Danbury just stared at the Duke, devious yet murderous intentions in her eye. "Your regrets are denied" she said with a smirk. I could tell Simon found her intimidating as-well as he would not meet her eyes and kept looking to the ground.

"We'll i suppose a brief appearance will-"he began but was quickly cut off. "Excellent, you may leave that flask you carry at home. Most undignified." Lady Danbury then took her leave, leaving only Simon and i.

"So, is it true what Lady devilment said about you both conjuring up a plan so you can marry?" he questioned. I chuckled at the fact he would only make fun of her when she was not around. "More like Lady Danbury and my sister plan to have me married" i corrected. "Well, who are your prospects? he asked. "We have a list actually, i have been made study them all."

"Really? You are that desperate?" he questioned with an amused scoff. My smile faded and a frown grew at his comment. "I'll have you know, Sir Duke of Hastings, i am 'desperate' because i have a family at home who has no money, no prospects nor any financial sustainability. Something you nor anyone else you are associated with will ever understand."

Simon smile turned into a stern yet regretful look. I presume no one had taught him manners. Maybe lady Danbury should be teaching him instead of me. "So go on then. Show me who's on this list" he said trying to break the tension. I held my head up high and nodded.

We made our way into the drawing room and i showed him the long list. "Wow. You have almost everyone in London on here" he said. "Almost everyone? Who isn't on here?" i asked. "I don't see any of the Bridgerton names on here" he said. I paused at the name.

Now, i do not know much about the big Bridgerton clan, but i do know one name. Anthony Bridgerton... I know him because Emma and the viscount had a...Entanglement in the past. He would visits her at night and leave before the morning. I do not know a whole lot but i do know he broke something inside Emma.

"So you are looking to see if the prospects are suitable, Hastings?" Lady Danbury asked lurking at the door. "Yes, i wish to know who i shall keep miss Juliet from at tomorrows event" Simon teased leaving Lady Danbury with a scowl. "What big event?" i asked in confusion. Lady Danbury gave Simon a stare that could cut any man down.

"Now, Juliet" she began. "There shall be an event tomorrow where you will be presenting yourself to the queen. There she will decide this seasons diamond. If that was to be you, you'd have your choice of every man in London."

I gulped. "I must present myself to the queen of England tomorrow? Well, i am simply not prepared!" i said as i paced up and down the room. "What if i slouch, or fall, or have food on my face or-"
"My dear, nothing bad will happen. I trained you well. You won't mess up" she said. Simon tried giving me a reassuring smile to gesture everything will be okay.

"And then, we shall celebrate with a big ball tomorrow evening where you can meet the suitors. I'll even hang one of your paintings up" she said. My face lit up a little at the thought. People would actually be seeing my paintings instead of them just sitting in my room.

"Okay. Tomorrow is the day then" i said nervously. "Tomorrow is just the beginning" Lady Danbury said with a wink.