you belong with me (Benedict Bridgerton)

Chpt 12: The Difference Between Lies And Secrets

"So, you were out with that Bridgerton man?" Beth asked after i finished my story. "Yes. Oh Beth it was one of the best nights of my life" i said lying down on the bed, still in a haze. "A Bridgerton?" she questioned once again. "Yes, What's wrong you look upset?" i asked.

"What is wrong? What on earth were you thinking Juliet!" Beth exclaimed quietly getting up from where she was sitting. "Beth, calm down i only-"

"No, you know what that family is like. You know what happened to Emma" Beth snapped. "Beth listen to me, Emma was wrong about them. The family, they are very kind, genuine people" i said trying to calm her.

"Juliet, he's cast a spell on you hasn't he?" Beth questioned. I laughed. "Beth, that is only a tale Emma used to tell to frighten us" i uttered. Beth grabbed my hand, shaking her head worriedly.

"I know what happened between the Viscount and Emma" she said sheepishly. I knew this conversation was coming. "You do?... Tell me what you know then" i hesitated asking. Beth stayed silent for a minute.

"I know that, Emma and the man had a relationship. I know that she let him take her innocence. I know that this carried on for a while.... And i also know that she was with child" she said not meeting my eye. "Is that all you know?" i questioned.

"No... I remember that night... When she came back from work and sobbed in your arms.. When she had lost the babe."

I will never forget that night my sister fell in my arms unable to walk. Her sobs filled the whole house. Im sure even mother flinched at the sound of it. Emma was not ready to be a mother but, she would have made herself ready.

I told Beth that Emma had just had a hard day at work, but i should have known she was smart enough to know i was lying.

"And i know that when Emma went to tell the viscount that she had lost the baby, she found him with that woman who sings in the opera" Beth said as she finished.I kept quiet, pulling Beth into an embrace as to let her know that everything was okay.

"You can not marry that Bridgerton man, Juliet" Beth mumbled nuzzled into my shoulder. "Benedict and Anthony are not the same people. Beth. And anyways, i'm sure if i explained to Anthony what Emma has gone through, he would most certainly apologise. I don't think Emma even told him about being pregnant let alone loosing the baby" i whispered back.

Beth pulled away from me, looking as if i was the most vile person she ever laid her hands on. "You still honestly wish to marry this man? Even though you know what Emma has went through and you still want to marry into their family?" Beth asked frantically. I don't think i had ever seen Beth this vexed.

"Beth, i have a plan. A plan to reunite our families and solve all the controversy of the past" i said in in a small whisper as to tell Beth to keep her voice down. "What the hell is wrong with you? You've been here not more than two months and you are already putting someone else's family in front of you own?" she questioned with a scowl.

My sympathies were quickly vanishing. "Excuse me?" i questioned standing up. "I knew it, Emma was right" Beth muttered turning around. My face grew more cold. "Ruth about what?"

"She told me to inform her if you were thinking about courting a Bridgerton, i did not believe her" she finished. Then, the dots finally connected in my head.

"That's why your here?" i snapped. Beth turned around with a pale face realising what she had just said. "Emma sent you to spy on me didn't she?" i questioned harshly. Beth stood there not uttering a word. At this point i did not care if i woke the entire house up.

I scoffed. "We'll you know what Beth, you should back to Emma. In fact, you should pack your bags right now and head home to tell her everything i have told you. And never return" i shouted. I saw Beth getting upset that i was raising my voice at her but at this point, i really didn't care.

I turned my back and was about to walk out the door. "I knew you'd change once you got here" she uttered bitterly. I stopped at he door. Was she right? Had i changed?

"We'll, thats not my fault is it" i said turning to her. "I had to change everything about myself to make sure our family is safe. It could have easily been you who had to do it. Your not that much younger than me Beth, i could have told Emma to make you marry! But no, i stepped up for our family. You both didn't care if i married a cruel man who i had nothing in common with, but the moment a find a man who truly likes me for me you have a problem with it" i spat with tears streaming down my face.

They were not tears of sorrow, they were my tears of fury. Beth was now sobbing looking at me up and down. I could feel her judgment. "Best be packing then" i said wiping my nose and slamming the door shut.

I ran downstairs, feeling my chest tightening. I couldn't believe Beth had lied to me, especially when i had told her everything with Benedict. I trusted her but she did not trust me. Without thinking, i saddled up one of  Lady Danburys mares and rode off quickly.

I didn't know where i was going, nor did i care. I always loved riding when i was back on the farm. We had two horses. One called Honey and the other Hazel. They used belong to my parents so they were quite old horses who moved slow.

I loved the feeling when you lifted both of your arms up to your side, it felt as if you were flying.

Without even realising it i was in the middle of a meadow. It was quite peaceful. The meadow was filled with daisies and one willow tree in the centre. I hoped off the horse and i lead him towards the tree, tying him up and sitting before the large tree. I tried to take one breathe at a time and forget every worry in my head.

The meadow reminded me of home. No civilians, no responsibility's, no Lady Danbury, just me.

I felt content here. I don't know how long i was there for but i knew i had to return home before Lady Danbury went ballistic.

As i arrived home i saw Simon waiting in the stable. He looked furious. "Where the hell have you been? We thought you were hurt. I was just about to go out looking for you!" he exclaimed angrily. I did not bother to respond. Simon noticed that my face was puffy and my eyes red.

"You should get inside, Lady Danbury is waiting for you" he said more gently. I held my head up high pretending not to be frightened but inside, my stomach flipped at the thought of Lady Danbury scowling me.

I made my way through the hall and into the drawing room, my face faltering. I saw three figures sitting down. I gulped as i realised who it was.

Lady Danbury was staring at me with disgust with a hint of sympathy whilst Beth looked as if she had been sobbing whilst i was gone. I looked at the figure sitting down on the sofa. I took a small bow.

"Viscount Bridgerton."