you belong with me (Benedict Bridgerton)

Chpt 14: "I paint things that want to be painted"

That morning i woke up with a new sense of joy. I had my family here and apologies had been made after such a long time of strife. As i sat reading, i was interrupted by someone knocking on my door.

"Come in" i called out wiping my tired eyes. "I made you some tea" Beth revealed herself. I hesitated to speak as she sat on the edge of my bed. "Good morning" i greeted with a hint of coldness.

We still haven't spoken properly to one on one since our argument yesterday. She handed me the tea. "No biscuits then?" i questioned playfully. She laughed at my comment.

"Juliet, i'm so sorry for how i spoke to you yesterday. You haven't changed since you got here, i understand you just simply have to fit in. It was hard enough for me with one night of it.
I just miss having you at home, It's great that Emma's there but it's not the same" she said.

"You don't need to apologise, Beth. You are right, i have changed. I've changed a lot ever since i've got here. Everyday i feel as if i am being watched. I feel like one bad move and Lady Whistledown will ruin everything. I just, i don't want to let anyone down" i told her.

Beth held my hand. "Don't speak like that. You are my sister, you couldn't let me down. When Emma couldn't be there and mother was ill, you took care of me. You taught me how to read, how to write, you taught me how to be my own person. I can never thank you enough for that" Beth teared up. Hearing her say those things made all of this worth it.

It felt as if i had been holding it in for so long. I did miss home whilst i was here, but i also felt i was loosing myself more and more everyday i spent here. I think that's another reason why i am so fond of Benedict. He brings out the real me and still somehow enjoys my company.

She quickly came to my side and embraced me whilst kissing my cheek. We stayed like that for a while until Lady Danbury shouted that i needed to get ready.

I let Beth pick out my dress today before we both hurried downstairs. "Miss Bennet, there is a guest here for you" said Lady Danbury. I lit up, it was Benedict, it had to be.

I ran to the drawing room. My smile faded as i saw who it was. "Miss Bennet" the man said. It was Henry Brooke's. "Mr Brookes... What a... Wonderful surprise" i said faking my smile.

"I apologise for coming so early, i just haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the ball" he said with a large smile. The man was harmless and quite sweet so i entertained him. "Well, that is quite alright Mr Brookes. Speaking of the ball, how is you foot?" i asked. "Oh, it is quite alright, no need to fret."

There was a minute of awkward silence. "Would you like some tea?" i asked. "Oh yes, tea would be lovely thank you" he said as he sat down.

"So, is this you art work?" he asked pointing at my easel with an unfinished painting. "Oh yes but please, do not judge me off this piece, it is not finished" i said. "My drawing book is on the table if you would like to go through it."

He opened the book and saw the standard portrait of Lady Danbury's flower garden, my sisters, other sites i have seen since i've got here and more.

"These are extraordinary" he said. I chuckled at his kind words. As he was going through the pages, he saw one drawing that caught his eye. It was a man with big eyes, a smile unlike any other and hair so messy it looked as if he had just gone riding on horseback. He realised who it was right away.

"Here you go" i said handing him the cup of tea. He seemed to be in a trance. "Mr Brooke's, your tea?" i said louder snapping him out of his daze. "Oh yes... Thank you" he said closing the book right away.

We talked for what felt like hours though Lady Danbury said it wasn't more than one. Even though the man seemed lovely, his conversations were most certainly not. They were dreary and predictable like all the others.