Its 50 degrees outside. Gorgeous day, to say the least. I open the window to feel the breeze as I type these words, reflecting on the memories written lovingly (stupidly) into these pages. Don't be mistaken, I don't regret these memories at all. I was just a kid...in love with love.
This definitely isn't for him anymore. Seeing as I am blocked on all social media and we haven't had contact since I broke up with him back in February 2020 (a little funny looking back). I wish only the best for him and honestly from what I've heard, he's doing everything he said he would. Got accepted to the college of his dreams, went to the concert of his dreams (dodie clark) and one can hope he's living the life of his dreams. I don't wish for us to connect (or even miss him).He will always have a place in my heart as my first love and nothing more; simply another story to tell my children.
Let me tell you about me, then.
I skipped the college thing and instead started building my life immediately. I got engaged to the love of my life, got 3 cats and moved to Maine together all in 2020. We've been up here ever since. He's wonderful, hardworking, attentive, hilarious, and the love of my life. We grow and love our happy, poly, queer life we've made together. Its everything I wished for and more. I, myself, have changed quite a bit since we've last spoken. Looked at the mirror lovingly and allowed myself to grow. Learned to be gentle with myself. My partner has been a huge part of that.
I guess I wrote this is as an end to our story. Two people who were in love but didn't know how to yet. All good things come to an end. I genuinely love our dumb lil story. A bit cringy but ya know, we were kids. We tried to grow up too fast. It's just part of our story. I would say "I'll see you at our high school reunion", but that never worked out did it? Its a little funny how determined we were despite anything and everything telling us to stop. Stop talking, stop going to school together, stop seeing one another. We were stubborn little shits. My kids will love this story.
I hope yours do too.
King - Florence + The Machine
