I left my study hall. Wandered through hallways I don't care to remember. And went into the art room. I painted the constellations on the back of my computer. White on black. Orion. a name I hoped to make my sons. Cassiopeia. A zig zag of fate. Ursa Major. The Big Dipper. Ursa Minor. the Little Dipper. Leo Minor. the bottom of a heart. Cancer. me. Scorpio. you.
-and together, we held the sky
run faster. I am, I am. get the ball. I got it, I got it. Hossana! I'm sorry, my bad. Run down line. Of course, of course. Man on. Oh shit, oh shit. Be agressive. No problem, no problem. This is soccer. I can handle this. I can handle this
-I tell myself I'm doing it for you
11:11. a childish thought. I try to ignore it. But everyday I wait for it. And make the same wish. Just one. not for me. not for them. just for you.
-please be happy
you say that you miss my smile.maybe even my laugh. I think I forgot how to. genuinely, truly. a real smile. every time I do, I remember I can't see yours. I must be a disappointment. I'm forgetting how to be the girl you fell in love with. Now I'm just. a girl. with a soccer ball and dreams of you. both wonderful and painful. I miss you. you made me a better person. you made everything wonderful. you made us....us. every second an adventure.
-I'm jealous of the stars who see you
lavender. caramel coffee. jean jackets. cinnamon. Music. dancing. Dodie. hazel brown. stars. the sound of wind. blankets. Fuzzy socks. Dark wood. bookshelves. calligraphy. midnight black. a laugh that echoes. drinking hot tea too quickly. two a.m. studying. fluffy hair. freckles. tan lines. converse. vans. thick books. hidden tattoos. paint marks on your hands. oversized hoodies. periodic table. copper+tellurium. hot chocolate. hugs. dim lighting. Broadway. singing loudly. inside jokes. sweat pants. ink quills. typewriters. fog. roaring rain. lightning bolts. face masks. fresh fruit. playing tag. childish happiness. getting an answer right the first time. new shoes. butterflies in your stomach. soft skin. acoustics. earl grey.
-you
Monday- Starbucks. Tuesday-soccer game. Wednesday-small group at mosaic. Thursday-chapel. Friday-soccer game. Saturday-church at FBO. Sunday-anywhere and everywhere.
-I know your not there, but I still look for you
of course, I love you
to the moon and back
Love💜
Sunflower by Post Malone, Swae Lee
Memories by Thutmose
Perfect by Ed Sheeren
Talk Too Much by COIN
still feel. By half•alive
