I'm honestly so exhausted; I can barely keep my eyes open as I type this on a computer that is way too bright. It's really pathetic how much I think about you. Even today, when I just feel tired, worn out, stretched thin, and questioning why I'm alive; I wonder if you're ok. Sometimes I think about what great adventure you might be having or a joke you could be sharing; just picturing you living life to it's fullest (as you usually do) and being happy...makes me happy.
I think about it all the time, how you are like the sun and I am like the moon. You radiate with joy, brighten everyone's day, dependable and make everyone feel warm. I live in shadows, go through phases of joy, anxiety, depression and not many people enjoy me. I glow because you glow. And I know that you're human just like me and you go through some hell too. I just wish I could glow brighter so I wasn't so much of a burden. You tell me all these stories of great things and you always make me smile and laugh...I don't have such stories and I never know if I'm ever the reason behind your smile. Why would I be? I am chaos. You are chaos too, but so much more beautiful and stronger; like the stars and galaxies. But...I'm here for you. I've got your back...you know that, right?
*deep sigh* I wish I could just hug you again. See you smile, hear you're laugh, sing, rant...heck even you scaring me again. Anything....dammit I didn't mean to cry again, jesus. This is so pathetic, sorry. I just...miss you. I hope you're ok, love.
Talk to Me by Cavetown
