I went snow tubing yesterday
It was 45 degrees outside
though I never wore my jacket
the cold air was exhilarating
my shirt was damp from the soft drizzle of rain
And I giggled
running up the ramp to go sliding down a hill
for what might've been the 5th or 6th time
But
i stopped, as if hitting a brick wall
the air....
I looked around, fast as lightning
my heart suddenly running a race
It smelled....like you...
I moved to the side, so I didn't block others
joyously going up the ramp
As I stood there, frozen
It smelled like
wood, rain, a forest, and an echo of cinnamon
a thousand memories flooded my head
hugs, holding hands, sitting side by side
It was exactly you
a breeze blew my hair away from my face
and my hand suddenly felt empty
i looked down
still holding the tube
Though i wished it was your hand
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath
Don't worry, love
i whispered, so the demons couldn't hear
you'll be here....I'll be there... soon...
i promise
and so, i looked up the ramp
and ran, again
though I could feel my heart pull apart
I knew I should carry on
pretend he's here
so I did
I laughed all the way down the hill
looking at the stars and winked
wondering if you were looking up too
I miss you
and that moment
made me realize how much my heart aches for you
however
it also gave me new strength
to keep fighting for you
because, Love
you are always worth it
-an air so sweet
P.S.
And now i truly understand
an air so sweet
