𝔻𝕚𝕣𝕥 𝔹𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙 𝕄𝕪 𝔽𝕖𝕖𝕥 (ᴛᴏᴋʏᴏ ʀᴇᴠᴇɴɢᴇʀꜱ x ᴍᴀʟᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ) [HIATUS]

Chapter 24

Author's note: If anyone decides to skip the chapter and wants a summary please leave a comment and I'll add it at the beginning of the next chapter. PLEASE HEED THE TRIGGER WARNING!!!

TRIGGER WARNING: ❗️GRIEF/SELF HARM/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS❗️
VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED

(Y/n)'s POV

November 1st, 2005

   It was late at this point and I was surprised I even had the energy to walk home. The brisk air chilled my already numb body as I walked back from Mikey's house to my own. I was grateful that Draken was staying over with him. As much as I wanted to be there to comfort the pair through the night I just couldn't hold it in any longer.

   I felt a bit of relief when my apartment building was finally in view. Not that home was a safe place for me, but it was the only place that I could release my emotions in private.

   As I entered my home all the lights were off, the soft sound of snoring from my parent's room drifting through the small living space. I looked at the clock on the wall, it was later than I thought. The dim light made it clear it was nearly 2 in the morning. The stress that I had school in the morning was weighing on me more.

   I didn't want to tell anyone about what happened today. Especially my mom, she didn't even really know what I was involved with. None of my family did, they knew a couple of my close friends and that we were being 'boys' so they never questioned much. Of course my mom would always get concerned when she caught me beat up, but I blamed it on some delinquents who I ran into. After all, I was a good kid, I was her straight A student who never did anything wrong.

   I never wanted to do anything wrong at least. I had to keep up this persona, and it wasn't just one, I had multiple personas to keep up depending on who I was with. It was exhausting, sure people 'knew' me, but nobody had any idea what was constantly going through my head.

   Well, Takemichi had an idea now. Thanks to him I have to really be cautious of anything I do. I'm not sure what gave him any idea of that night. There was no way he could have found out. That's what probably scared me the most, he knew something that nobody else did and I had no idea how.

   I shook off the thought, I can't let the unknown get to me as much as it does. At least not tonight, if one more thing is added to my plate I don't know if I can handle it.

   I took off my shoes quietly, tip toeing to my room and closing the door. I searched the dark wall for the light, flicking it on and going to my radio to turn on the cd inside and played it on a low volume. I went back to the light switch and turned it off. I locked the door, staring at it before finally letting a sob slip out.

   I quickly fell to my knees as the tears started rushing out at full force. I covered my mouth with my hands as I bawled, I couldn't be loud. I couldn't be any louder than my music or others would hear.

   After several minutes I finally was able to stand, even if just for a moment. I wobbly made my way to my bed, falling face first into my pillow. I clutched it, trying to grip it as tight as I could. I then screamed into it. Letting out the agonizing cries I had held in all day. Every ounce of pain I could get out I would. I prayed nobody heard it and I muffled it enough.