Can you feel my heart?

Past:Long for that feeling to not feel at all

Not edited

Now the same room where I had been tortured was now reeking with the heavy and metallic scent of fresh blood that was slowly oxidising.

I was currently tied up in the middle of the room. I was covered with wounds that were all dripping and bleeding out. The corner of my lips had been split up and dried with blood. Exactly the same way it has been when he started torturing me.

Nameez had really tortured me to the extreme. And despite I was being barely alive,Nameez did not seem to intend to stop the torture. He was now whipping me, strike after strike, rhythmically, with ice-cold and merciless eyes.

Until his phone vibrated inside his pocket.

The whip in his hand was then flung to the floor as he picked up the phone to answer the call.

"Come over here now, Nameez . We need you remove some vital organs from a woman. We finally get to kidnap the girls ." Alex reported the latest updates about their base in the mafia world .

Nameez's fingers trembled a little with excitement as he clutched the phone tightly in his hands. He looked like a good news was delivered to him and he couldn't wait to engage himself into doing his favorite hobby. 'Removing peoples organs.

"You're lucky I am called to do my favorite hobby I will unbound you for your wrist to rest." After he did that he hurried out leaving the basement door ajar.

I sat immobile for about 1 hour or so before I heard the roar of thunder and I shifted from my seating position.

"Is it going to rain?" I asked in my mind and helped myself up by holding the pole.

"What time is it?" I asked myself again i didn't get to know whether it's night or day because the basement was always dark and I lost the track of the days I spent here.

As I stood up I staggered back before I held myself

I steadied my feet on the floor and took some steps but I wobbled back. My body still ache from the earlier beating.

With the remaining energy I have I finally walked up to the basement door and got out. I walked into the house and stood by the window side before my hand trailed to the backyard door and opened it

I stretched out my hand with curiosity gleaming in my eyes. At that point, my thoughts were being messed up with the excessive torture i experienced everyday which was slowly eroding the meaning of emotions from my heart. I wasn't allowed outside to play or have fun,i was always cocooned inside the basement with stinky smell,rusty ground,metallic smell of blood and all sort of weapons . I didn't have any friends,toys . The only thing I was allowed to hold in was my sanity

But when I gazed at the dark clouds, looming over the house through door of the backyard with all their might and casting a sheet of darkness around, i couldn't help but feel thrilled. It was mysterious and exciting. The phenomenon was beyond my comprehension that i wanted to understand. The chilly gust of wind made me shiver, but I didn't mind it.

As i stretched my freshly scarred hands, wanting to feel the water droplets, i was suddenly pulled back. My uncle stared at her and narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing here? You are supposed to be in the basement.What brought you here"

I blankly looked at him . My outstretched hand hung in the air. My uncle said, "Don't waste your time in admiring the rain. It's useless. There is nothing new in it. You're roaming around like a stray cat. I should have shackled you in the basement ! C'mon get moving ."

I didn't respond. I slowly lowered my arms .

"You don't have time for this nonsense. Remember, you caused this yourself . You are to endure for whatever happened to you. You will get all wet and dirty and I won't tolerate that."
"Zaynab!!" Nameez called aunt Zaynab.

He closed the windows,the door and coldly dragged me away. The teenage me stared at the raindrops pattering against the window, and the small flame of desire that lit my heart faded away into darkness.

He took me back to the basement and shackled me to the chain on the wall and walked out. I faintly smiled because I missed witnessing the rain. With this thought I slipped into a deep slumber.

I was woken up with cold water that was poured on my head and clatter of bucket dropping in the floor brought me back to my right senses. I shivered and looked to Nameez that bent down to open the chain lock. Without a say he dragged my weak body to a certain chair.

He sat me and buckled the belt to make me to stay put. He pulled some wire all over my body. It was when he walked to the machine control that everything fall in place and my already weak body went limp scared of what is coming next. 'Am I going to be electrocuted or what?' I am...I didn't get to finish my analysis when I felt the nerves in my body all jerked,so I was right I weakly smiled and the excruciating pain shoot inside me once again.

"AHHHHH!!!!!" I released an ear piercing scream and he seemed to be enjoying it. He turned the bottom and pressed a red bottom adding the intensity of the shock.

He was screaming with delight as he added more voltage.

"C'mon scream for me!"

"Cry all you want. This is what is called pleasure. Feel the pain.

"Hahahaha what a beautiful sight to witness."Asma your resistance is beyond control. I like it." He said by pressing the bottom to the high level

"AHHHH!!!" My throat hurt,I couldn't breathe. I heard someone screaming. I realized because my throat hurts so much that I was the one who was screaming.

My hair turned white because of the intense stress put on me that day by the electrocution!.

When he saw I was close to pass out, he offed it and offed the basement light before walking away leaving me to myself . My body suddenly collapsed on the chair,I couldn't even lift my finger or flutter my eyes. I felt like I was just a living corpse with only a beating heart

"Hahaha.!" I let out a tormented laugh

"This feels so surreal right?"

"The pain is no longer a burden,it can be pleasurable too." I widely smiled but it lowered when I get to processed what I've said.

"I am becoming masochist now!No it can't be,I don't want to be that." I vigorously shook my head wanting to get rid of the absurd thought.

My voice then resounded through the dark room and I maniacally started to question no one.

"Can you hear the silence?"  

"Can you see the dark?"

"Can you fix the broken?"

"Can you save my tinted soul?"

"Can you feel my heart?"

Any question I asked would echo back to me unanswered. And I left them unanswered too!

"Will you wait for me ?"I asked myself because I know I was losing my real self. The other me was slowly fading away and the other was slowly taking over.

"Can you feel your heart Asma?"I slowly talked to myself . I tiredly raised my hand which I couldn't see because of the darkness and placed it to left side of my chest.

I sadly shook my head and answered myself  this time

"No I don't think I have a beating heart."

"If my cell could be as vast as the pirate's den,then I'll freely fly like a bird." I lazily started my voice slowed.

"I am sacred to be alone now and
I hate being alone.
The high I get the low I'll sink. I can't drown my demons they know how to swim. Each time I drown them they surged back at full force"

when I  came back to my right senses and afraid of what I was becoming i chose to forget everything.

Oh how much I longed for that feeling to not feel at all.

Oh dear Asma!!. Just forget I support you in this!.😭😭😭.

Thank you and don't forget to vote please❤️🥺.
Bye 😘