The regrets of Katherine Barnes

Chapter 35

A/N:
Cause I want to my lovelies I'm updating a day earlier. . .cause I can

Ren stands over the sink breathing in shaky breaths as she splashes her face with cold water to calm herself down.

Another horrible nightmare. Angel tormenting her, sister dies, everyone finds out the secret, gets abandoned, tortured for life not being able to escape the horrible nightmare that was her life. Each night it's gets worse. The nightmares never ending. Pain and suffering is all she thinks when she sleeps. Not the comfort she felt when she was younger.

She takes another deep breath before sitting on the cold white tiled floor, trying to keep in her tears. Her throat is tight, her breathing uneven, she doesn't want to cry. She thinks crying shows weakness. She shuts her eyes tight and shakes her head.

" I don't know how much longer I can last before I can break, " She mutters to herself.

It's not if she'll break, it's when. How much longer till she snaps and is unable to think straight and does something horrible. What if. . .it all becomes to much.

Weirdly, behind the closed door of the hotel bathroom she's in, she feels safe. As if she's all alone and no one will harm her. She stares at the ceiling and thinks of her life before.

How could she be so stupid and throw that away? To a movie viewer it looks cool to go on missions and adventures, but in reality. . .it's horrible. So horrible she would do practically anything to get it back. To get back her family, friends, house, and, hell, even her school. Anything is probably better than this.

" I can't do this anymore, " She sobs, unnoticed tears fall down her face and splatter on the floor, " If I go, I'll be letting Loki win by default. "

A soft knock is heard on the other side of the door. Ren stands up from the floor and opens the door a crack, bathroom light floods the hotel room. A tired Thomas stands there with a worried look.

" Ren, " He whispers, " Are you okay? " He takes notice to her tears stained face. " Ren, have you been. . .crying? " He asks in disbelief. The strongest girl he knows, is crying.

She nods her head, her face falling as more tears fall. Thomas steps into the bathroom with Ren shutting the door for privacy as he knows Ren doesn't want to wake up, if that's possible, the others.

He turns to look at her, but is taken back when Ren flings her arms around his shoulders. She sobs. That's all she does is sob. Thomas, unsure on what to do, pats her head.

" Uh, Ren what's wrong," He asks looking at the broken girl.

" So many things," She mumbles stepping back and sits on the tiled floor. " Thomas, there are so many things f'ed up in my life, hell, the world! Logan's dead, Loki is still alive and killing, and- and I say Jackson at the club. " Ren rants.

" Wait, you saw Jackson! " Thomas interrupts.

She nods then lowers her voice, " He didn't recognize me or even freak out! He was causally sitting at the bar then asked me of I was alright! Like a normal person! What the hell is wrong with him! Is expect him to be like Drax the Destroyer or some shit! Being on a revenge spread preying on the innocent! "

" Well, can't argue with that," He mumbles, " But why were you crying anyways?"

" Stress I guess, there's so many things wrong and. . . I just want it to end! For all of it to be over. Forever. I want to be normal thirteen year old girl, I want my family back and. . ." she looks at the floor before mumbling, " I just wish none of this ever happened to me."

This hurt Thomas. She wished none of this happened. Meeting Newt and everyone, their fun times in the glade (even though it was a horrible place), or even falling for Newt?

Ren realizes what she said, " Thomas oh my god! I mean nothing bad, you understand right? Please tell me you understand and not hate me! " Pleading she looks at Thomas then hugs him.

" Yeah, I understand. . .sorta," He whispers back. Ren looks up Thomas with tears in her eyes once again.

" Thomas. . ." She whispers, "I'm falling apart. I can almost feel it. Little by little everyday, more and more I separate. The only thing keeping me together is false hope and you guys! My sister is off somewhere in New York doing God knows what, my S.H.I.E.L.D "friends" are probably on a search for me, and . . . I'm supposed to do something I could never do in a million years fight a boss battle! Even in Mario I would always fail at those! If I can't defeat a giant multicolor turtle that shoots fire who hides a prissy princess in a unlocked castle how am I supposed to fight a power hunger god!"

" I have no idea what any of that means, but I'm just going to say you have us for encouragement and we got your back, " Thomas says truthfully.

" Will you both slim it, " Minho whines, " My head feels like it's going to burst!"

" Minho, shut it," Newt whines. Those little words they said made Ren feel a little better. Comedy is what Ren needs.

She opens the door letting more light shine into the room. By the looks of the sunlight Thomas and her have been inside there for about an hour. She sends one look at Thomas that says "keep this between us" he nods understanding.

She smiles a little before swinging her arms wide and over her head talking loudly for punishment, " IT WILL BE FUN YOU SAID! WELL IS THIS FUN GUYS! HANGOVERS ARE FUN RIGHT! WELL I TOLD YOU DING-A-LINGS NOT TO GO BUT NOOOO YOU JUST HAD TO CHECK IT OUT! " Ren slaps her arms down at her sides. " I swear you're all idiots, except Thomas. . ." she looks at Thomas, " You're all idiots."

This is how she concealed everything from us. . . Thomas thinks, She put on a mask to hide everything. . .

Newt and Minho just sit on the beds miserable.

" Thomas stay here I'm going to go to the general store and see if they have something for the idiots," Ren orders like a mother, " Oh and make sure they drink a lot of water!" She walks out the door sighing.

Alone at last.

She walks down the street in the cold morning air tugging her jacket closer around her body. Her breath is visible in the cold morning air. Barely anyone is out, it being about 6:55 in the morning. A few people walking there dogs or jogging. Crazy people.

The little bell rings when she walks into the little store. The only people that are in there are the sleeping man at the counter, probably had the early morning shift and is catching up on some sleep, and a teenage boy in the back area near the freezers getting some ice cream.

Ren grabs a basket and starts filling it with some aspirin and a bag of nacho cheese Doritos. The boy turns around and sees Ren.

He walks up to her and greets her,
" Hey, your the girl from yesterday! "

Ren turns to look at the boy, Jackson, " Oh hey Jackson! "

" Yeah, " He replies, " I, uh never got your name. "

" It's Jennifer," Ren comes up with the name randomly. He holds out his hand with a charming smile.

" Nice to officially meet you Jennifer when you feel fine," He says with a smile, " Why are you here so early?"

" Oh, my friends that dragged me to the godforsaken place need some aspirin, " Ren explains picking the small bottle off the shelf and throwing it into her basket with a bored expression. " They woke me up a little too early. "

He laughs, " Yeah I had a friend, if I should still call her that, who hated waking up early. "

" Really, why aren't you friends," Ren asks playing along so she's not killed on the spot.

" She, uh, hurt someone I loved, " He says with tears in his eyes. Ren puts the basket on the floor and hugs him.

" I'm sorry," Ren says.

" You should be," He growls in her ear tightening his grip on her so he's barely choking her, " I'll give you a days head start you she devil. " He let's go and Ren steps back. His sweet smile turns into a horrible wicked one, "Shouldn't keep Newt, Thomas, and Minho waiting now should we?"