Aspen In Alaska

Chapter Twenty Six

Aspen

I opened my door and came face to face with Liam. He just smiled lightly at my as I motioned for him to come in.

"Would you like a drink?"
"Water's fine." He answered looking around my apartment.

I stopped in my tracks and went over to him. I began feeling his head as if he was sick until he looked at me weirdly.

"Are you sick?"
"No?" He stated, but it came out as a question.
"Since when do you choose water over alcohol?"

He began chuckling and pushing my hands away. I laughed as I went into my kitchen to grab two bottles of water out of my fridge. I handed him one after making my way back to the living room sitting on the couch with him. I propped my feet up and put them on the middle cushion as he took his shoes off following my lead.

"So?"
"So..." He repeated after me

I laid back and started picking at the loose thread on my throw pillow while I let him thing about what he wanted to say first. I wasn't going to rush him. He cleared his throat after a few seconds causing me to look at him. He smiled at me weakly while looking me in my eyes.

"I need to say something and don't interrupt no matter how badly you want to. Please?" He stated while rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.
"I'll let you talk as long as you take your time. You don't have to rush."
"Thank you." He said sincerely.

I offered him a reassuring smile. I wanted this for so long so he can take as long as he wants. I tried to be as reassuring as I could because something tell's he's nervous and not used to doing shit like this.

"Firstly, I want to apologize again for not hugging you back." He smirked.

I tried to hold back my laugh and succeeded while rolling my eyes. I looked back to him as the smirk disappeared from his mouth and regret filled his eyes. I just wanted to hug him and tell him I forgive him seeing him like this. I didn't like it, but I knew he needed to do this. Not for just me, but for him.

"Secondly, I'm sorry for how immature I was. I was an asshole and made a big deal over the smallest shit. I got mad over things I should have never gotten mad about. Truthfully, Aspen.. I knew I was pushing you away..." He said, then paused.

I looked at him in wonder. I wasn't judging him, I was just curious.

"You scare me. You make me feel things that I've only felt once before. At least I thought I felt what I feel for you before, but when I sit and think about it, I've never felt what I feel with you before. That scares me. What if thing's get good between us and I some how fuck it up and you never forgive me?"

I wanted to tell him so many things, but I didn't. I let him speak.

"I thought that if I just pushed you away now it wouldn't matter because I just met you. I thought it would be better to just rip the bandaid off now instead of one of us getting hurt later on. So I purposely pushed you away. I regret it so much. Apart of me feel's like I practically pushed you into Gage's arms and that makes me sick. What I did with Kim was unforgivable. I hurt you. I know I did. I thought.." He stopped talking to take a sip of his water.

He placed his head in his hand and shook his head. He really did feel guilty..

"I thought it would help me get over you, but it just fucked my head up even more, then seeing you with him.. I knew how you felt. I tried to tell you to stay away from him, but I don't blame you for not believing me. I wouldn't have either honestly, then the night he spoke to you like that? I just snapped. I couldn't just stand there and let him disrespect you." He said the last sentence while looking back up to me.